What are green flags to look for in a guy during talking/dating stage to know he will be a good partner?

[bobalife]

It’s easy for people to put on their best behaviors or performance at the beginning, but I’d hope for someone genuine and just curious what are green flags to look for that makes sure he’s a keeper for a long time.

[ohsheeT]

When i meet people and we talk im talking and listening to the person on the inside. Especially if they are quiet and they're not trying to bring attention to themselves because that tells me they're speaking from their heart and that's who they truly are

And once you get to know this person from the inside out you start to notice and see Beauty from everywhere

I guessed it people that are into looks and have to be seen with that beautiful guy or girl and that's what they're into but they really miss who the person really is

I had a long distance relationship and this girl was absolutely beautiful on the inside and she was good looking on the outside she was just a little bit homely I think is what people call it

But I mean I truly fell in love with a girl on the inside and she had never had anybody or any guy ever talk to her the way that I talk to her

And as I could watch the inside just glow I started to notice even the outside started to Glow

And each and every day she just got better and better looking but she was one person

And not two

If I like a girl from the inside out it probably means I really really like her

if I see a beautiful girl and we start to hit it off in most cases it just takes a few more minutes longer and she opens her mouth and just ruins everything

So for me there are no Flags except for the fact that I would judge myself for and probably throw a flag on myself LOL for thinking what I was thinking

[Anonymous]

I met an amazing back in may. He was the nicest, kindest person I've ever met. We were both foodies, liked drinking seltzer and cuddling. He treated me like an absolute queen. I felt like the most precious girl on earth. We honestly thought we would marry. Fast forward a month, I found out he was a crazy liberal. He hated the fact that I wasn't. By the end of the second month, I found out he was crazy. By the third month, he no longer cuddled or worshipped me the same way as before. And I also found out that he has EVEN MORE mental issues such as not being able to sit with other people, not being able to watch an outside movie, not being able to take criticism, not being able to even cook a one pot dish without getting annoyed because its too boring, emotional dysregulation. I also found out that he doesn't base his arguments based off of facts or reality. He would just lie or look for absolutely anything that supports his own biased beliefs. And he would actually believe in those lies.

He was an amazing man when I first met him but I realized I ended up with a lunatic

You can't judge a guy by the first month. Only way to find out who he truly is, is to give it time. Don't rush the process. Definitely don't ignore red flags. But you also need to know what is a real red flag and which isn't.

[bobalife]

Reading this feels like PTSD from the past and my most recent experience 💔

[bobalife]

Were you actually in a relationship with him or just dating him?🥺 I’m so sorry that happened to you girl, I hope you left him as soon as you clocked he was a weirdo.

[Opinion Owner]

No I didn't leave immediately once I found out he was a weirdo. I overlooked red flags because I loved him too much. He was a very kind endearing man. So sweet.
We met on an app. I found a red flag upon our first conversation. He said he might let his ex babysit his future kid. There was an awkward silence and I just stopped texting him. He begged me to come back, which I did, because I have him the benefit of the doubt. He has a habit of randomly making really bad jokes and blurtng random stuff out.

After a few weeks, I went over to his home and it was the dirtiest place I ever seen. I actually ran away at one point and left his house early when I was supposed to stay overnight. But he made the excuse that his ex broke up with him so he was depressed for a year. So I forgave him for his horrific dirtiness, expecting that he will get cleaner as time goes on. It kinda never did.

He also has this really weird habit of making jokes (mostly bad ones), non stop over and over again which can stretch up to 5 to 7 times at once. Back to back

He also loved his cat more than me. I had always been a very nice understanding kind person so I let this one go.

If you want more details about this bizarre relationship I can send you a link but

I honestly think my kindness was my weakness. I had been too understanding toward him and not judgmental enough. Stop believing in his excuses and judge him for who he actually was.

[Opinion Owner]

@bobalife

[Opinion Owner]

He claimed he was over his ex since the beginning. Throughout our relationship, it did seem like he was over her but just still a bit bitter to a certain extent.

I gave him the benefit of the doubt that he still might he a good man, which he is, but the weirdo impression he gave- lasted throughout our entire relationship. Early in beginning, he didn't seem weird. But it eventually all came out

[bobalife]

Wow, I totally understand you… the things kind hearted women do… can I ask for relationship / dating advice? You can DM me.

[ericJackson]

Biggest green flags: Consistency, clear communication, and how he treats people when there’s nothing in it for him. Anyone can put on a show early on, but real character shows in the small, quiet moments... Plus, bonus points if he can actually make you smile like I just did. 😉

[bobalife]

🤭 he might earn a boba point

[ericJackson]

☺️😊🤗

[DragonDan444]

Early on it can be difficult to tell but watching body language and facial expressions. Remember CLUSTERS …. Many people get caught up in one single thing or another. Alone one thing means nothing, but pair it with other things and it does. Signs of deception, sings of genuine attraction, etc can really tell you what someone’s really thinking or feeling.

But to know if someone’s a keeper takes more time.

[bobalife]

I agree wise dragon one 🙇🏼‍♀️

[Still-alive]

Well a major one would be actions matching with words. If they say a whole lot and they seem to accurately match his actions you probably got a keeper.

you also may just need to give it a bit of breathing room. If you recall my 90 day rule. it’s to address people ‘putting on their best behaviors’ kinda thing. It’s very difficult to fake things for that long unless they’re really dedicated lol.

After that its really just can you truly see yourself with this person? If yes keep going. A lot of vibes, trusting your gut kinda thing.

[Anonymous]

There are no such things as green flags, and there are no such things as red flags either, for that matter. They are made up concepts on the internet, and green flags were just made up in the past year. You take people as you get them and decide whether you like them or not.

[bobalife]

Very wise and agreed, anon🥹🙇🏼‍♀️

[Tarifa]

Look for honesty and consistency. You will want someone who is emotionally mature and makes you feel safe.

A guy who treats everyone with respect, including strangers and service staff, is a good sign. Let him talk about his hobbies and preferences. If he lets you into his world, he's not making desperate attempts to impress you.

[NathanDavis]

someone genuine will not try to impress you...

[bobalife]

¿Porque?

[NathanDavis]

no hace falta...

que aparentes

solamente, si prestamos atención, ahí está el arte...

[Bklynbadboy12]

Only time will tell dont get your hopes up in the beginning. I know that's easier said that done but everybody is trying to impressed the other in the beginning. So just take your time and get to know him or here and just let things take a natural progression cause its then only then you'll know for sure. Oh I almost forgot to have fun and enjoy the company and companionship

[Nikki1989]

Personality, kindness and compassion, respect, intelligence, a sense of humour, honesty and integrity, good communication skills, and shared interests and values. If he/she ticks all those boxes, chances are you have a winner.

[AngryCarl3]

That's quite a shopping list! What are the odds?

[slatyb]

It's more an absence of red flags. To know he will be a good partner will take a bit of time.

[i_am_back]

If he makes you laugh even when you're stressed go for it bro...

[Anonymous]

What’s your physical type? Why was your attraction only 30/40 percent in your prev relationship

[bobalife]

I’m curious why you wanna know, anon🙊 do I know you? Lol. My physical type for men and women differ… but it wasn’t based on my last relationship, I was very attracted to my last ex.

[Opinion Owner]

Just a curious on what people prefer in looks. Is this person you are not that attracted the one you are currently dating?

[Opinion Owner]

What’s your ideal type? What makes them only 40 percent off if

[ElenaLena]

Unfortunately you will never know.. people are tricky

[MrChinaski]

How he treats wait-staff.

[MrChinaski]

You can learn most of everything you need to know about someone by how they treat people they have more power than.

[Paige2006]

How he treats his mother

[exitseven]

He pays cash for mist things