Is it intimidating to date a girl that makes more than you?

Question

HawkPerception · Accepted Answer

The truth is, yes. And not because she makes more than me. Guys don't give a shit about who makes more. I'd just be worried about whether SHE looks down on me for making less than her. Society has conditioned women for millennia before us to have the man be the provider and I'd hate to say it, but that conditioning is pretty much wired into their DNA. It takes a very individualistic and deep thinking kinda personality to be freed from that kinda thinking.

If I dated a girl who makes more than me and is likely to always make more than me, I'd feel a bit emasculated (again because of societal norms) and insecure in the relationship. This is not to say that it would be impossible, but she'd have to be very accommodating and give tons of words of affirmation.

bowenw · Accepted Answer

Thinking back, I would say 75% of the women I have dated earned more than me and it was never intimidating.

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

Of course not. With limited exceptions, men don’t care how much money their woman earns.
This mostly fabricated and entirely exaggerated narrative was created by intolerable women who refuse to accept that their personality is the reason they can’t find or keep a good man. Frequently it’s tied directly to their own insecurity or arrogance about their income. An otherwise great woman who never shuts up about how she makes more than her fella is, in the end, intolerable to any self respecting man. You can be the wealthiest person on the planet. Nobody cares if that’s the best part of you. At least not men. Seems like there are an inordinate number of women who are willing to put up with a lousy man as long as she receives a collection of shiny bobbles.

Finchie40 · Answer

Not at all , considering money isn’t the reason i liked her in the first place , and plus I am capable of making my own money , so her money doesn’t play any part in why i like her to begin with , i would be happy for her achievement, and i only date girls’ that have work ethic that are capable of supporting themselves , that want to be a team with me , meaning we work together to have nice things if we end up in a serious relationship,

ohsheeT · Answer

It's probably the last thing I would think about and if it came up

And if she did make more money than me I would be happy for her

But it doesn't really mean anything

And if dating turned in to a relationship

I would be more interested in what else besides money that she could bring to the table

To me that's a lot more important than the money

Don't get me wrong we all need money but there's more to it in a relationship then who makes more than who

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Not for me. I have a decent income and I have dated a few women who had a net worth of several million dollars. They were regular girls/women.

AviatorTom · Answer

Not at all, that's a great opportunity.

RavVid · Answer

Rarely happens because girls are hypergamous and not that likely to date a guy that makes less. It takes two to tango and just as girls like men to be taller and men like girls to be shorter, both like that the man earns more.

So it won't be that common.

In the early 20's it might happen to a degree particularly in service industry jobs cause waitresses likely earn more tips than waiters. But these jobs are not long term careers so it doesn't really count.

Another factor is that when women enter a profession, the status of that profession drops significantly... and the salaries drop with the status. Salaries drop for women more than for men because men work harder and will go for niches of the profession that command higher salaries.

OneViewpoint · Answer

I honestly don't know. I've never dated a woman with a higher income. I suppose not as long as I come to the table able to take financial responsibility for myself, I don't think I'd care if her income was 10X mine.

The conflict may not come from money per se but 2 career focused people who are driven by things outside the relationship. Or differences between personalities. For instance if she were very materialistic and her materialism clashed with my minimalism. We'd just be on different pages all the time. Probably not the best pairing.

ElenaLena · Answer

Some men may feel intimidated if the woman earns more or is financially better off…and if she also comes from a different or more privileged social background, that can sometimes add to the feeling of insecurity.. not because there’s anything wrong with her, but because the difference in circumstances can make some men question whether they’re compatible…

Anonymous · Answer

For a majority of men it’s not an issue. But as someone said rarely happens because most women want a man who makes as much as them or more, to which they still usually want him to provide. It’s never been an interest to men as far as how much she makes because what she makes doesn’t benefit a majority of men. I e never heard a female say you know what babe, since I’m making more I’ll take over the majority of bills. Like I said they usually want a man who makes as much or more than them. Women usually will say men need step their game up. The only time it becomes an issue is when she rubs the fact that she makes more in his face, usually happens when there’s an argument. Ot

OfDeath · Answer

I did this once. Intimidating is not the word. It’s not intimidating.

what it is though, is it’s weird when I still pay for everything and have to budget and then watch her spend $1000s and $1000s on online shopping, jewellery, designer hand bags and so on.

One of the perks was she would occasionally get me things like that too but even then it was more for her. For example she would get me things like Armani man bag, Versace wallet, various ray ban sunglasses, designer watches absolute newest iPhone and so on. All things I don’t really care about. But the thing is it’s not really a gift in the true sense, it’s more about her own public perception as in she wants to be seen with a boyfriend who has these things.

molonski2 · Answer

Wouldn't bother me at all , I'd love it , but in all this time I'm still waiting for it to happen ! Maybe I should have looked for a good portfolio manager years ago who was on plenty , or a female CEO or something.

That would have made things easier.

Karrimurray · Answer

As a girl, I don’t think it should be intimidating. If I’m making more than my man, I’d still want him to feel respected and valued. Money shouldn’t turn a relationship into a competition. I’d rather have a man who is confident in himself, supports my success, and has his own goals than someone who feels threatened because I earn more. At the end of the day, we’re supposed to be partners, not rivals.

jshm2 · Answer

LOL, no.

I've dated girls richer than me, poorer than me. pussy is pussy after all.

Treating them with good humor and having kind regard, cuts across all status of women. Men aren't "intimidated" by women. Most are just trying to figure out the signals she may be giving.

gasman70 · Answer

not if you have quiet confidence, because from what I've read in this forum, thats the most attractive kind, NO? so if you're not confident about it, then maybe you're not attractive enough... (insert sarcasm) NOW, the real, if she makes more than you and is dating you, that means that she wants you regardless and that's actually a special kind of woman. don't let it frighten you, let it be something that says, hell yea, she chose me anyway.

Likes2drive · Answer

Never dated any woman that made more than me for some reason, but that’s probably because most women look down on a man that makes less than them, and women that make more than me are usually too independent and don’t even care about getting a man or feel that they need a man

Mark_Est · Answer

Men aren't intimidated by women. Some betas are.

Why most men dont want that is cause most of these women act masculine and that is disgusting for men. Same as a man being all feminine is disgusting for women.

SixFootSexy · Answer

If a woman is making more than me, she better be head-over-heels in love with me. Otherwise I'll just assume that over time, she's going to hurt her own feelings and get bitter I'm not a breadwinner.

slatyb · Answer

Not for me. If she made so much more that I didn't need to work, that might be a bit strange. Lana Del Rey married a normie. It might be hard to keep working for less money per year than my wife was making in a day.

DeeDeeDeVour · Answer

If you asked my already successful husband who's neither abashed nor intimidated, he'll give you the same one-word answer he's already told others before: "Delighted!"

Anonymous · Answer

Oh noo hell no.
It's not about the money.
It's about the ego and insults and everything else.
The behaviour changes with money.
Men become worse version of themselves if they aren't reminded.
There is no one who can make women understand that part of there own image.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Nothing about money is intimidating.

browsingthroughthe · Answer

No but I would think to myself *are we going to have any quality time, in this relationship* Goddamn I went there LOL 😅😋😈

abc3643 · Answer

Right now, I'd love it. My wife's only income is Social Security. We're on a financial Titanic right now.

Billlewis · Answer

No; it's intimidating to date a woman who is smarter than me, which, in the current era, rarely happens.

Bricealan · Answer

@simslover92 I don't know. Never discussed finances with a date or even someone close until I married.

Anonymous · Answer

Don’t know why, but for some guys it is. When I get old enough to have a job, if I’m single, I’m not even going to tell the guy I’m dating how much money I make until several weeks into the relationship.

BadApple69 · Answer

Not at all. She can even pay for the date if she likes. I am totally ok with that.

NathanDavis · Answer

not to me, no... these things do not matter me

FrodoSkywalker007 · Answer

It's one of the sad double standards men deal with. We live in a society that pushes equality, but still demands males be providers.  Very difficult to manage both 🤷‍♂️

Staximus · Answer

Women usually don’t date guys that make less money than them, unless the guy has some prestigious or cool job that they can brag about to their friends

Rob1892 · Answer

I don’t see why that would even be a problem. People shouldn’t be treated differently over their income unless they are trying to live off you or something. I have dated woman that made more than me but it was never an issue at all.

Spencer10 · Answer

Not in the slightest. Money is never an indication of value.

xawyx-3 · Answer

No, it's intimidating for me to date any girl I like... unless she takes the initiative.

Coden7 · Answer

I come across as pretty intimidating already. I just find it rude if she dangles her degree or money in front of me like I need it

Shiprex · Answer

No, I was with a girl when she was earning more than me for about 5 years

AgentG111 · Answer

Absolutely not I know what I bring to the table and if she's okay with that then hey let's fuck and have fun!

LiamJHayden · Answer

Nope. i have dated attorneys whose single win contingencies have eclipsed what I make in five years, and I make a lot.

AngryCarl3 · Answer

Dating was always intimidating for me, money was never the issue.

dragoblack · Answer

Nope, and honestly i wouldn't ever ask her for money. When i care about someone, its for who they are as a person

Anonymous · Answer

Not at all. It just means all have to be more dedicated to pulling my weight.

whosnumber_1 · Answer

Nope. Good for her. How can we raise her income even more

Anonymous · Answer

I think more it hurts some of their egos than intimidates them

fish5505_87 · Answer

I married one! I was not not intimidated, but it can create friction.

Laulenke · Answer

Doesn’t matter to me as long as I’m treated with kindness and respect

Laulenke · Answer

Doesn’t matter to me as long as I’m treated with kindness and respect

Laulenke · Answer

Doesn’t matter to me as long as I’m treated with kindness and respect

Markella83 · Answer

No, I’m not, or I wouldn’t be with her. There are so many more important things to worry about.

Anonymous · Answer

Nope its k i dont mind  But she have to be sexy on bed.

Humbertleinad · Answer

No, I don't think so

Lliam · Answer

No. It doesn't bother me.

DonaldDarko · Answer

No I wouldn't give it a second thought.

Agape93 · Answer

Nope. Man or woman, their income isn't my concern.

exitseven · Answer

No, it would not bother me at all.

Alex-Snow · Answer

Not at all. Good for her!!

TonyMetal___1986 · Answer

Not intimidating but doesn't like it...

shortster · Answer

I am not intimidated by such things

astlavista · Answer

Yes, it's a little scary, unfortunately.

Anonymous · Answer

The first line was enough

NAILS0816 · Answer

Only if you’re a timid guy.

Kingofkings1992 · Answer

Lmao, no. Why would it be?

Is it intimidating to date a girl that makes more than you?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Would you date a woman who makes more than you?

Is it intimidating to date a girl that makes more than you?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Would you date a woman who makes more than you?

We're glad to see you liked this post.