Is he making excuses or being truthful?

[Anonymous]

This guy I have been seeing for a few years he’s been having trouble with money and claimed his dad didn’t pay him because he works for his dad and says he may move out of state because of it. I keep telling him no because I say to him think about us and this isn’t the first time he threaten to move before so I feel like I’m doing something wrong. He said money isn’t an issue he said his dad is brining him down and making him upset and then says I need to go out with him more and do more things with him and my parents need to allow to go out places with him. But he never had this issue before but he hasn’t asked me out on a real date. You think he’s using his dad as an excuse and is covering it up as me instead? Or it’s really me that’s making him upset? Because it would be weird to use his dad as an excuse am I right?

Updates

14 d

You think something else is going on with him like drug addiction?

Updates

14 d

I heard he is an addict how does this play a role in this?

[MountainMetal]

Hard to say for sure without more context, seems like there are some underlying issues that stand out

[Asker]

What underlying issues?

[MountainMetal]

Its clear that you care about this person but im noticing a lack of how you feel, it seems like you are managing his emotions and not prioritizing your own. If you say he's an addict im guessing the father knows, why send money to your son if you know what he will spend it on?

[Asker]

I feel upset this is like this about him

[Asker]

And you definitely think his addiction is definitely playing a role in this?

[MountainMetal]

Depends on what he is addicted too but yes, very likely

[Iron_Man]

Excuses you can’t have a girlfriend and have a good friendship with your father

[Asker]

How is it an excuse?

[Asker]

He said he don’t have a good relationship with his dad. So it’s my fault? What did I do?

[Iron_Man]

You can have a good friendship with your father. You have to work at it. I don’t see why there’s a reason to kick the girlfriend out of the picture. There’s a time in place for everything. The girlfriend doesn’t have to dominate the whole time. There’s a seven days in a week to see somebody.

[Asker]

He’s not trying to kick me out of the picture. He wants to see me but complains his dad hasn’t paid him and saying he might move because he isn’t getting paid. Like why? There is no way he wants me out of the picture. He likes to hang out with me. What can this be?

[Iron_Man]

What does that have to do with you? If he loves you he won’t separate from you enough sad.

[Iron_Man]

It sounds like you’re making excuses for him just to make yourself feel better. Maybe he’s not the boyfriend for you.

[Asker]

That’s true but he said he might move it’s not a definite. Why would he say it? He said his dad pisses him off.

[Iron_Man]

I don’t know this guy sounds like trouble like he wants a lot of attention

[Iron_Man]

If he’s not careful, the guy’s gonna find himself alone with no girlfriend and away from his father and then he’ll be sorry and come right back

[Asker]

So that’s why he can’t say all this stuff. We have to fight for the relationship!!

[Asker]

How does he sound like trouble?

[Iron_Man]

It sounds like he’s making a cry for help because maybe he’s got financial problems and like you said your updated or something about an addict. Maybe he needs professional help

[Asker]

Yeah so it’s not a sign he’s covering up on how he feels in the relationship?

[Iron_Man]

It could be he’s got another problem somewhere and you’re the one that put the update

[Asker]

Another problem somewhere how? And this isn’t a sign he’s covering up how he really feels in our relationship?

[Iron_Man]

You understand about an addict in your update

[Asker]

Yeah about how he may be a drug addict. So he definitely not covering up how he feels about the relationship?

[Iron_Man]

He probable needs help and when people are a drug addicts, they don’t think about relationships they’re just looking for their next fix

[Asker]

Yeah that’s true but he said he’s struggling with money so it may be true he’s an addict 😢 He said these things because he’s struggling? Not unhappy with the relationship?

[Iron_Man]

Why don’t you get him help and work with him?

[Asker]

I can try but I can’t say to him get help for your addiction he will deny it and get mad at me. What else can I do?

[Iron_Man]

I don’t know I guess you’re gonna have to catch him in the act and have an emotional conversation with him because maybe he doesn’t even realize he’s in trouble

[Asker]

I will talk to him thanks for the advice

[Iron_Man]

You’re very welcome God bless you and your boyfriend and I hope it works out for you both

[Iron_Man]

Thank you so much for the award. Good luck with your boyfriend.

[blshbnz]

Honestly I think there could be some truth to what he’s saying about his dad and money, but I also think he may be using it as a reason to avoid addressing the actual problems in your relationship. If he’s been talking about moving away multiple times, hasn’t taken you on a real date, and is now saying that you need to go out with him more while putting the responsibility on your parents, that’s seems inconsistent. If being with you is what’s making him unhappy, he should be honest about that instead of making you feel like you’re doing something wrong. I wouldn’t assume he’s making everything up about his dad, but also wouldn’t ignore the possibility that he’s using that situation to cover up how he really feels about the relationship.

[Asker]

So you think he’s covering up of how he feels about the relationship like what? What did I do wrong?

[Asker]

What problems in our relationship he talking about?

[Asker]

Dm me

[Asker]

And follow me

[MissSunshine2]

I think that he's doing the same thing that a guy did to me for the same period of time, he's stringing you along. Cut him off.