How can I overcome dating anxiety and finally feel confident with women?

[Anonymous]

I am almost in my mid twenties and i have never had proper relationship. I had a girlfriend when i was like 16 but it was short and kinda all awkward. I dated just one girl after that.

I am introvert and a bit shy. It takes time to get comfortable around new people, especially attractive girls. I am not the kind of introvert who never goes out though. I have a lot friends both male and female, i like going out, parties etc. But i live in a small town there's not that much happening and chances of meeting someone new is not high.

The thing holding me back the most is i struggle to hold a convo with a lot of people. I never know what to say to girls. I am overthinking everything and i am too much inside my head. One of my friends mentioned his college classmate the other day and he said that he approaches girls talk absolute nonsense and they are laughing and he gets girls so easily.

The last girl i dated, we struggled in convo and we were really nervous around each other, but after she ended things, it was whole different thing. We were teasing each other, convo was better. Then there was one friend of mine, she's really attractive and my friends thought i am in live with her so i started hitting on her, teasing her and this kind of thing just for fun and i was smooth.

I have been reflecting on this a lot lately and i am just tired of this. I could have had so many chances with girls, i have been told many times that iam attractive, both by women and men. I haven’t approached a rando girl until this July. There was an event and there was really attractive bartender and she was really nice but she had a boyfriend and honestly i felt fine, i needed to have a couple of shots before though.

i mean my life is great, i got everything i need and want, that being said this makes me insecure and i really struggle with this.

[MrChinaski]

a. You are doing fine.

b. Ignore random criticism and abuse from others in this thread.

c. Have some go to questions that always lead somewhere. Not lines. Just conversation connectors. Like: What unimportant thing about you are you most proud of?

d. You don't need to convince them that you are amazing. You need to convince them that they are. The talking complete nonsense routine, which I don't do, plays into that: your job is to create an environment where they feel comfortable to open up and find meaning with you.

“When I left the dining room after sitting next to Mr Gladstone, I thought he was the cleverest man in England. But after sitting next to Mr Disraeli, I thought I was the cleverest woman in England.” Jennie Jerome, Winston Churchill's mother.

[Mark_Est]

Only simps chase women. Live your own life do your own things. Dont care what women think or waste time thinking about what ifs. Say hi to whoever you want doesn't matter what they think.

[Nikki1989]

Shrift your internal focus away from how you are being judged and toward how you are experiencing the connection. It is all about mindset.

[Spencer10]

Be yourself. Always remind yourself that if a woman does not like the real you she was not the one anyway. Relax and enjoy dating and meeting interesting people.

[NathanDavis]

therapy