How do I regain my confidence in talking to women and flirting with them and asking them on dates etc?

[Dave6769]

I used to think that I was a good looking dude not bad anyway had some pretty good confidence and thought I was kind of funny but My past previous couple relationships I was devalued and shown that I was basically nothing in the relationship I guess by the end of it nothing I did seem to matter or have any value for anything good was just not appreciated no respect towards my way I was always to blame I could do nothing good enough how do you recover from that when you view yourself as nothing now

[Anonymous]

So a few weeks ago I got in a long conversation with a young woman who works at the front desk at a local gym. I am not physically attracted to her but she is very friendly. We ended up talking on a slow night for over an hour and over some deep stuff and later connected on IG. But there was nothing flirty/sexual.

Anyways she’s not unattractive by any means. But she’s just not my type physically. And no she’s not overweight. But she was just easy to chat with. I felt something unwind in me after talking for a long while and it dawned on me I haven’t talked to a random girl like that in person in a long while. I just felt more humane and at ease.

I also dunno if she has something for me or not. I’m twice her age so I doubt she feels comfortable reaching out to me to “hang out” or something. If she does I will be cool but won’t lead her on with anything.

But anyway there was something about taking to a woman and particularly a younger woman that had such easy going and inviting body language. It felt really easy to be myself. Boosted my self esteem a bit tbh. I’m now taking to another young woman (26) I do feel attracted to and I feel a sense of confidence about it. Also feel more nonchalant too.

My advice is just try talking to women you don’t feel attracted to in a friendly but not flirty manner at first. It will calm your nerves and feel more at ease approaching women in general.

Don’t lead them on but just be friendly. It’s easy to be yourself when you aren’t worried about her being attracted to you or not. You don’t have to worry about coming off as creepy either because you aren’t won’t be thinking about one thing. Start off with that.

[coachTanthony]

go get some tattoos and pierce your eyebrow. All will be right as rain after that lol

[Minxxie]

I recently saw a video about how in Scotland most men have the mindset of wanting to get to know a woman they approach as a person rather than trying to get something from her, like her number or her agreement to go on a date.

I think it would take a lot of pressure off because if you get a number then great but if not the main reason you approached was just out of curiosity to connect with another person, if only briefly. So if you have a short conversation that doesn't end with a set date you didn't "fail". Plus every approach is practice!

[Teket]

Trial and error. Just try to go out with the intention of speaking to a friend - have fun. It seems like your natural state is someone who is funny, have good confidence etc (just like you described) so just try to find that old feeling of how you felt about yourself and say f*ck to the evil voice that keeps nagging you. You are valued! Don't let anyone anybody else tell you that you're not.

Rooting for you :)

[Anonymous]

I've found the best way is to keep your expectations almost through the floor with women. Never expect anything to work out, at anytime, ever. That way if it does you're pleasantly surprised.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/YtaCF0A5wWw

[Anonymous]

If it were me, I'd say the effort is not worth the trouble anymore.

If you insist, the best advice I'd give you is to talk to her like you'd talk to anyone else. That is what people mean when they say "be yourself."

"

[Djaay]

Stop lookin and be yourself busy with life's responsibility and duty's you must accomplish and she'll notice you instead. Anytime you have to ask a woman anything , she's not going to correspond correctly or collectively in your favor.

[LiamJHayden]

When you get knocked down, get back up again. Also be sure not to project past disappointments onto those who did not cause them.

[Anonymous]

Don't try so hard and it will come naturally.

[strateguy632]

just start fresh with a new person.

[boobliker]

just get out there and play

[DreamLife7]

U need to help yourself no one can do it for u

[Enginn]

I keep talking to them

[Anonymous]

And momentum is everything for guys

[Anonymous]

Therapy