How do I become confident again after getting left for another girl?

[xolaurenxx]

Not in a vain way at all I am a very atttactive person but I never feel it anymore. 4 months ago I got left for another girl and it really made me very very insecure the way I just got dropped for the first time. I’m just looking at memories of myself and I was so confident and secure in myself as a woman and so happy and really loved myself a lot and knew my worth and know I look the same but I’m so insecure now. I let men walk all over me and treat me badly and get scared ill get
Replaced. How do I get over this now? I’ve actually never been the same it really humbled me but not in a good way.

[Datboi65]

Take some time off dating. I suggest you try therapy, it really helps. Find activities that make you happy, are productive, and fill up your schedule. Example, drawing or working out. You get the message. The more you occupy yourself with tasks, the less you will think about your insecurities. You also want to work on your mindset. Understand this: not everyone will find you attractive, which is fine. That doesn't make you ugly. If your ego is too high, then the blow will be much worse. If you are more realistic, then there will be a sting, but it wouldn't hurt as much. That also doesn't mean the other girl is better, it could just mean that that particular guy liked her more. Again, nothing wrong. The two same girls, and another dude might pick you over her for example. Humility is important. If you are good-looking, that's great, but you should also be humble. Being humble doesn't mean that you aren't confident, it means you are secure enough to a point that you know that you look good, but you don't act like you're God's gift to earth. My guess is that you get a lot of attention, which might inflate your ego, so you're not at all used to the rejection, and that makes it hurt more. Being humble also makes you more attractive, unlike thinking like you're the prize, which just screams arrogance. After you get done with therapy, you pick up that new hobby you like, and change your outlook on life, you will most likely have more success. It won't guarantee that you will not be left out again because nothing in life is guaranteed, but you will have a better time dealing with it.

[ohshee]

I would think that you would be more confident by 10 *
You're looking at it as if you got left because of another girl

You should have the confidence to understand he just proved you who he truly was and prove to you that you don't want to be with him because of the things that he does this girl finds out to the same thing when you found out the guy has no morals values are ethics. He just wants to use a girl
You should be thanking him for sure you exactly who he is before you got way into deep to me that's a positive you didn't do anything wrong so why are you beating yourself up you should have that confident knowing that that was meant to happen probably just so you wouldn't get hooked up with him because somewhere just around the corner there will be a new one for you and then you can think the guy again otherwise you would have never met the new guy

And by the way anything that you're feeling inside you can't blame anybody but you did because you're the only person that can make you feel either good or bad or bulshit yourself into believing something just because you want to feel that pain you shouldn't need to feel the pain you're the only one on the inside of you so you're the only one that can make you feel bad or not feel bad so smile because you didn't do anything wrong

[Aerissa_Jade]

This is the best advice I can give you.

If this was your first serious relationship, I understand. You'll just have to push through it, it will be hard.

Building confidence alone is possible but take baby steps. Step #1 is don't care what others think, if it doesn't matter. Obviously places like work, its important to have confidence in your job and give off a good vibe.

Coming across as desperate can be a turn off for guys, just remember the quote above. It has been my life saver.

[ChkltCat]

I love that quote

[arodriguez664]

Therapy sounds like a good option for you. I totally get where you are coming from the first and most significant relationship I had was abusive. He broke me completely down, to the point where I became convinced that he was the only guy who would ever "put up" with me. I allowed him to use me for my body and allowed him to reject me constantly. It took many months of therapy and some serious soul searching to begin to put myself back together. It is a process that takes a lot of time.

[Anonymous]

You need to get right down to fundamentals and make sure you're fundamentally strong and balanced. That means finding any weak spots in your skill set and addressing them like crazy. I find that a lot of girls--especially the very attractive ones--don't work on their other fundamental skills. They expect being attractive to take them all the way. The same problem happens with tall or attractive guys sometimes. And we've ALL seen this happen with athletes who are great at ONE part of their game but neglect the others and then fall by the wayside.

So first, to figure out what the important fundamentals are you need to specify your goal. In your case it sounds like your goal is something like "to attract and KEEP a high quality guy." So you need to know the most important characteristics that will do that. Here's a decent short list:
1) Be attractive (sounds like you're good here, but check to make sure you're doing all you can)
2) Have good character--in particular, be loyal and loving (no whoring, nagging, backstabbing, trash-talking, etc.)
3) Have a positive energy (sorry girls--"snarky," jaded, "I don't need no man!" energy isn't really attractive to a man
4) Know how to please a guy in bed. REALLY know this. Like I mean get SUPER familiar with the workings of the male reproductive system and make teasing it, exciting it, and releasing it as powerfully as possible a borderline obsession

Really that should get you 99.9% the way there. Four things. Guys are pretty simple like that. I've noticed that a lot of attractive girls who are nice can think that's enough and are shocked (and understandably so) when things don't work out with a guy they really like. If the problem isn't that they're not as attractive or nice as they think in their heads then 9 out of 10 times (or more!) it's down to 3 or 4 above. Get those sorted out and you're good.

[TheBootyChest]

I know it's easy to just say "remember who you were and embrace" but that is kind of the key.

You have to tell yourself that this guy didn't deserve you if he was so willing to find another girl. And then remind yourself that he is totally trading down from you. But that if he can do that to you, then he will probably do that to the next girl too.

[HighValue]

Just know that a person that leaves their SO for another person (a cheater) is the one that is the bad person. You shouldn't blame yourself for that.
If people aren't compatible they should leave their partner first before finding someone new, but if they leave their partner for someone else (are with that person right away) they were at the least emotionally cheating so they are the bad person.

Try to find a person with good morals and a good past. No hook ups, no cheating, etc.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Take your hands together and ask Jesus to help you
If you shall ask, you shall receive, and ask him to send
a guy that's being sent to you from him, I'm sorry you
may be against religion but I find comfort within my Lord
I do accept whatever religion you are or what religion you
aren't

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you were happy with yourself but that changed when someone else didn’t wasn’t? You’re not any less because that guy was maybe more compatible with and so chose someone else. Some people won’t choose you first, or vibe with you, or even like you.. but YOU can still like you. Your opinion of yourself is valid.

[bgreek]

Going to see a some strippers, and a lap dance or 2 might help
Or, goto a gay club and tease the women

But, than again you need to have respect for yourself
And if you want a man
Take a year off from all dating
Read your bible
And check out on youtube christian dating for men. women

[888theGreat]

being attractive is not the reason.

You could be an ass. You can complain too much. You can be too clingy. You can be not trusting. You can be too pushy.

I also know anyone that thinks they are best looking woman on earth and that their shit doesn't smell will never keep a guy.

[Anonymous]

sorry but the hours of operation for the emotional tampon support hotline are between Monday through Friday 12am to 3am and saturdays from 11pm to 4am and sundays from 1am to 2am. we are closed on all federally regulated holidays. if you would like to leave your message for one of the thirsty simps on this shithole site please leave your name and social media handle and some thirsty simp will be sure to get back with you and give you the egoboost you so crave. BEEP

[xolaurenxx]

*Hangs up*

[mark000h]

It'll get better. It's these bad experiences that make us stronger. Don't lose trust and think everyone's a cheater. Most aren't. There are decent guys out there.

[jiffyjeff1029]

It's his loss dear. Don't let some player get you down.

Smile on!!

[noohair]

Loosing someone is a grieving process. Look into the 7 stages of grieving and work through them. You can't grow if you live in the past. Look forward to every day and you will get on with your life.

[Dontaaaa]

Be productive, you earn confidence when you do things to better yourself.

[Anonymous]

Oh, no! Don't be insecure. Nope! He did you a favor. Now, you will be available for when the real deal comes along. It's not you, it's him.

[Wise4myage]

Stop letting people walk all over you and focus on your self esteem.

[jamw301]

You get on me and that will show em.

[ewok737]

Voodoo doll !!!