Who should pay on dates?

[Anonymous]

I totally understand girls who are 20 and still expect their boyfriend to pay for the bill. I went out to eat with my boyfriend the other day and he suggested splitting the bill, so I literally got up and left. Sorry, but a man should be able to step up a little. If you can’t even afford to cover a $10–15 bill without worrying about it, maybe don’t get into a relationship. I don’t want to depend on anyone, but when I go out with my boyfriend, I don’t want him stressing over the bill either.

[aceleon]

this is not stress, this is not wanting to be exploited. you don't get that we are almost more sick and tired of your seeing us as money than you are sick of being seen as an sex object, because in your case it is at least you who is seen not another entity from you they use you to take it. what you say is not stepping up, it is just you not wanting a perfectly logical thing out of your own selfishness and a misguided concept of what manhood is, aka this is misandrystic.

[Asker]

Calling it “misandrist” because I expect a man who asks me out to be willing to pay for the date is honestly ridiculous. I’m not saying every man has to pay for every woman all the time, and I’m certainly not saying men exist to fund women, but if you personally think paying for your girlfriend or taking her out is some kind of exploitation, then don’t date women who have different expectations from you. You’re allowed to want everything split 50/50, and I’m allowed to want a relationship where the man naturally takes that role sometimes; neither of us has to pretend our preferences are the same just to make the other person comfortable.

[aceleon]

i don't think paying for my girlfriend is exploition, i think my girlfriend being someone who EXPECTS such thing is explotion, i can be willing to waste a fortune on you for all i care but ONLY if you never EXPECT İT from me, like only girl that is worth spending money on is a girl who doesn't even think about expecting someone else paying on her expanse, sorry but i am not chasing an 50/50, i am chasing EVERY MATURE ADULT HERE GROWS UP AND PAYS FOR THEMSELVES AT LEAST ON PRİNCİPAL, i can go ahead and pey it for her, but she should be someone who wouldn't expect it. because unlike what you might believe once you start expecting it, it is never natural for us to take that role, it would be only natural if the idea never even crossed your mind, once you expect it even internally you took away the naturality in it, it is no longer a kind gesture it is what you expect.

[aceleon]

for the allowed part, do you say the same thing for people being allowed to want to murder an entire country or commit arsonism at this right very moment? or would you react like wtf what you are doing is wrong? if you think about absurd comparison, no, it isn't, unless you are a believer of some sort of divine deity nothing we do is moral or bad, it is only percieved that way by others, it is not objective, me robbing a bank right now and you eating pasta right now is entirely the same thing: you desired something and you did it, things like conciousness and remorse or emphaty is not strong enough to make it objective or binding because it is not either you are remorseful and emphatic or a psychopath, it is a wide spectrum that differs from person to person too much it doesn't have a trusthworthy foundation. so if you feel off putted about someone wanting to murder people me being off putted by your expectations has no real solid and binding difference, both of us talk about something we don't like and believe to be horroundous. i know that you will just ignore this part and go no you are wrong because i don't like this idea on me but i just felt like saying.

[melnc]

All this damn drama over $15?
If your relationship was actually solid, you wouldn't be sweating the small stuff like this. I mean, the way you're acting right now? You could lose your man over the dumbest shit.
Honestly, I think you're just hunting for a reason to go look at somebody else or there's already another dude with money you're trying to line up on the side.
Shorty, that's a cheap ass move.

[Simslover92]

I think the guy should pay especially if he was the one to ask her out but the girl should offer to pay her half out of courtesy.

But I don't think that the guy should pay on every date. It should go back and forth and be fair.

[lilBigPotato]

You split unless one makes the extra effort to offer to pay.

[Alex-Snow]

For the first few dates it is common for guys to pay the bill. After a relationship starts in earnest I think it is a kind gesture for the girl to ask to split the bill at times.

[Asker]

If you can swallow your pride as a man and be okay with that, good for you, bro 😂

[Alex-Snow]

I have had girlfriends that have asked me out on a date and paid for it. It always was a kind gesture and the dates were fun.

[Nikki1989]

Whoever instigated the date pays. Simple.

[jahaims]

It should be split unless you are a prostitute. Making the guy pay means he is paying for your time and that your time is more valuable than his which is rude.

[Anonymous]

no man who loves a woman would want her to pay. this is coming from an experienced dater. trust me. Stop wasting your time on guys who don't think you are worthy of splurging on

[leviopperman]

you're a bitch. guys shouldn't pay all the damn time. fuck you

[Anonymous]

what can you provide him with if you refuse to pay for that? you gotta be pretty good looking and good in bed if thats your attitude

[exitseven]

The person that extends the invitation

[Anonymous]

We take turns

[Anonymous]

It depends.

[Siajanua2027]

The lucky one