Who should pay for dates and why?

[Lopezz1999]

Is it because of respect? Mannerism? Share your thoughts.🤔

Women should pay

Women should pay with men contributing

Men should pay

Men should pay with women contributing

Go dutch

[JiminsHoe]

men and women should split the check but in all reality money shouldn't be that important, to where you literally have to fight over who won't pay. If you care for your partner you are 100% fine with paying. If I went on a date, i'd offer to cover it because i've been raised that way. But if the guy was to agree to that right away, my feelings would decrease, because it is also well mannered to refuse for someone to pay for you a few times before you agree. So for me it doesn't matter at all whether its a man or a woman who is paying, what matters is the intentions of the two people, one should not be greedy with money or cheap.

[Lopezz1999]

As far as first dates, these circumstances cannot apply, unless of course you could honestly say that you actually care about your date on your first?

[JiminsHoe]

no but its nice to make a first impression and regardless of the circumstances like if a person is a stranger or a friend, its always nice to offer to pay for something or just to be well mannered.

[Lopezz1999]

The key is to make the greatest first impression as soon as you meet the girl, before you take her out. You're not taking her out to impress her on the date.

[fernnnweh]

I had to google what 'going Dutch' meant, hahahah. I don't think there's a single reason why men should still pay. I don't know why you would expect them to, given that date is supposed to be a night out TOGETHER (meaning both are having fun and therefore both should pay) and not a favor you're doing to him. Women already make their own money and (at least most) want to be equal. So yes, we should go dutch.

[Lopezz1999]

Sweet. Thanks for your opinion!

[Schrodingerscat]

I think government should pay for dates.
Because if they do, it might help in increasing declining population in West.
I also suggest handing out free subscription to dating sites, unlimited access to tissues and nudes to single men and women
#FreeDates #DateStamps

[Lopezz1999]

Haha not bad. I like your style

[Bandit74]

Trump needs to see this!

[Schrodingerscat]

@Bandit74 sure! 😎
@OP - Thanks☺

[ShortCircuit]

In an ideal world - entirely free of gender roles and stereotypes - it would make the most sense for the initiator of the date to pay for both parties. However, since we are still bound by gender roles, and men do 95% of the initiating, it wouldn't be fair to hold them to that standard.

In our current state of progressiveness as a society, it would only be just to split the cost 50/50 between both parties, because chances are, the woman was equally interested in the man as he was in her, but she held back from initiating because she's been told that it is unacceptable (which is absolute horseshit, by the way).

[Lopezz1999]

You nailed it bro!

[unknownpoet]

women should pay all time time. I never ever pay. if they want my companion for some time the least they can do is to pay for stuff. my time is precious and time is money. if they want they will pay if not I don't give a shit

[Lopezz1999]

That's exactly what women say when they believe men should pay. Now this is true gender equality

[unknownpoet]

touché ;) I make them taste their own poison. I fucking hate gold diggers and make them pay. but yea at first date I always let the girl pay. it's a test. also why should I pay? I get tons of girls all the time. I can't go out with every single one of them. also if a girl is really interested in me she's going to pay.
I never pay for stuff after that. if I like a girl I divide things 50%. sometimes I pay sometimes she pays. I never ever pay 100%. that's stupid and wrong and makes you look bad.

[Lopezz1999]

Spot on dude! That's precisely I'd never pay for both of us. It's a huge waste of money on someone who isn't even interested!

[unknownpoet]

what usually happens is, we go out 1st day she pays everything. 2nd day I pay 3rd she pays etc etc. it's 50/50. it's fair.
if I don't like the girl then she always pays everything. guys think that's kinda absurd but it's not. they are happy to pay cause they love my attention and don't mind about it.

[madhatters4]

i think it's up to the people on the date and in the relationship... but i don't think there should be any standardized expectations that apply to everyone

[Hannah313]

Whoever invited the other on the date, and when it it becomes a mutual thing, go dutch. Do I have to explain? Seems common sense to me, but women, like anyone, like free meals. So they fight for equality but try to get away with the free food and no draft enlistment :)

[Lopezz1999]

You've got the right idea! Where've you been girl?😂

[Hannah313]

Away from feminists!

[Lopezz1999]

😃😖

[Hannah313]

I promise you when you are a college student, you'll understand. Not that I hate feminism, but it is taken way too far, and when you're in the most liberal college campus in your state, saying you aren't a feminist is the same as saying you're sexist.

[Lopezz1999]

True. However, even at my age people expect men to pay for dates. It ain't right..

[Hannah313]

Here is the thing, guys usually approach a girl for dates initially, right? And a guy asks her on the second date usually to say "Hey I like you still, I'm interested." Men ask women on dates.
You don't invite someone to something and expect them to pay for it all. At minimum it's dutch. But a guy paying on a date is the difference between I think a hangout at a restraint as friends and a date, because a man is sacrificing his money. He is investing money and energy to see if he is still interested. It shows interest.
A guy asked me on a date into a food court at college, except he didn't say it was a date, we payed for ourselves, and ate fast food. He told people on our hall it was a date. I had no idea it was.
Guy's don't really say "Let's go on a date." They say, "Let's go eat somewhere maybe," and that is partially why some men date.
Now, if a woman asks a man, which is totally fine and normal, and wants to convey interest, she should pay. But women don't really do that much.

[Hannah313]

*restaurant

[Hannah313]

*partially why some men pay
I'm so sorry I am so tired

[Lopezz1999]

That's right. I'm just trying to help men out there get their confidence back. It really pisses me off that these men are blindly paying for these women without realizing that they're being drained. Talking about the subject is the best that I can do for now.

[Hannah313]

Men shouldn't have to think you earn a woman through paying for her meals. That's silly. You don't earn anything. It's just bout being considerate. If you asked her, you should pay. Not because you're a man but because you asked her and want it to be known it is a date. But a woman shouldn't expect it, and get upset when a man chooses not to pay, as if they don't deserve her somehow. That's silly, that is discrimination, and that's sexist. Period.

[Lopezz1999]

Well said

[goldfinch23]

Like I stated earlier :
It's called etiquette. Female can contribute if :
1. Both are students, in that case is acceptable to share the bill.
2. It's work related dinner (or lunch or whatever)
Money she's using isn't hers, it's company's money
Otherwise etiquette says, that man should pay.
Maybe you don't like it, but not following etiquette makes you yokel.

[AleDeEurope]

Women should pay. I'm not a cheap guy who just dines with any woman. You gotta earn this; you gotta pay for THIS. Feel special you're dining with me. My presence is enough payment, she can take the bill.

[Bleh-___-]

Whoever invited/planned out the date. I can't imagine it being fair if the girl plans out an extravagant surprise helicopter ride... and then expects the guy to pay.

[Lopezz1999]

So men should pay then?

[Bleh-___-]

Depends on the dynamics of who asks who out. For me personally, I can see myself planning special things for my guy which I would pay for. And when he plans dates for me he would pay. But I also know that some girls expect the guy to always be the one to ask/arrange the date so that's a different story

[OrdinaryGentleman]

Women should pay, screw going dutch we've been paying for the last 200 years at least for womens meals, you gals have the next 200 years; then we can thing about "going dutch" fuck the dutch
scontent-ort2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/.../...08370228_n.jpg

[anime_reference]

I'll bring money on a date to pay... but most guys I've dated always insist. I don't mind if they do or don't. 😊

[Najii]

Men should pay because of mannerisms. It's not about the guy always spending and all. My fiance always pays for our dates and when im the one that's actually pays, I give the cash to him so he can pay.

[fauchelevent]

Both should pay for their share of the date.

[Lopezz1999]

Good.

[Anonymous]

Split the bill is fair, but if you want to be a gentleman, you should pay. On the other hand, if she is a modern woman, she can pay.

[Lopezz1999]

I wouldn't mind paying, but I hate it when people expect you to pay because of your gender.

[Opinion Owner]

I agree.

[CT_CD]

I believe that women should pay. Not only for my meal but for my time. I feel like if a woman doesn't wanna pay then she obviously doesn't think much of me and she WILL NOT be getting a second date with me. No exceptions.

[Lopezz1999]

You may use this quote against any woman that says that you should pay to show that you care about the woman. Tell me how they react lol.

[datgirl]

How about we stop asking this freaking question? Whoever wants to pay can pay. Who gives a fuk anymore. Smh.

[Lopezz1999]

I do. If you don't, then no one would care that you don't. Quit wasting time by commenting on anything that you wouldn't want to.

[IvoirianGirl20]

@datgirl Ain't that the truth 👏👏👏👏

[Anonymous]

Depend what you expect, if you expect your date to be all doll up, wearing make up, dress and high heels the man should pay if no I would say half half even if it's far from being romantic.

[Lopezz1999]

Since when has a guy expected a girl to dress up all classy as if they're going to a formal event? The point is to show up and have some fun

[Opinion Owner]

Always be. This is not for a formal events this is for a date.
This is a dress for a formal events : image.babyonlinedress.fr/.../..._1449519164255.jpg

This is a dress for a date :
www.tati.fr/.../00W112659A.jpg

Learn the difference. Have fun yes but this doesn't mean the girl can go in a jeans and a tees... This is what you wear everyday and not respectful to go on a date with a jeans.

[Lopezz1999]

I said as if — there is a difference. Do you HONESTLY believe that the woman in the second photo is dressed informally? Most so uncalled dates are informal, believe it or not.

[Opinion Owner]

Which date do you mean then? Because i can't see a date being informal... This dress is being dress up but you can't wear it to a big events.

[Lopezz1999]

Invitations to entertainment. These are your basic ever-so-common "dates", and most of them are informal.. even meeting up at home to watch a movie. You must be thinking about the traditional yet boring dinner date,

[Opinion Owner]

Then it's the same girls are expected to wear a dress and high heels to date (especially the first). What a girls should be wearing then? A jeans? Sneakers?
What do American girls / your date wear to date?

[Lopezz1999]

cdn3.gurl.com/.../howtowearleggings3.jpg

Usually on dates, I usually notice women wearing jeans or leggings that match their shirts. If they wear a skirt, it's long-sleeves. Just about all of my dates have worn boots, and it is very much unlikely for a date to actually wear a dress especially on the first date because they're meant to be fun and amusing. Romantic dates are another matter though, however your casual informal date is much more common, so you wouldn't expect to wear a dress just to go have some fun. What do you actually consider to be a fun and entertaining date?

[Opinion Owner]

Wow look like she cleaning her house...
Fun date is like a cinema or walking in a park or drink in a bar. I can't see any other informal date really. In all this date it's dress and high heels never a legging or any other things you wore while doing sport or lazing around the house

[Lopezz1999]

A dress and high heels for a mere drink or a movie? For the informal dates? You do realize that informal dates are meant to be relaxed and casual right? Dresses are worn for more intense and romantic dates, especially to establish a bit of intimacy. A walk in the park can be done so (un) believably often, that it's highly unlikely for you to dress up for even half of them. There is really no need for you to dress classy for most dates, and for all informal ones. It all turns out to be the biggest waste, because you would have better results if you were to dress nicely, but also casually instead of formally, in which you would disagree. It appears that our ideas of dress as far as dates vary. I couldn't imagine the general population dressing as such to informal events..

[Opinion Owner]

It's like this it work in my country. Girls dress up so men should pay. if a girl doesn't dress up and wear a pant with flat shoes then she pay half.
Men prefer women who wear dress and heels so better to make all chance in the way. I've always dress like that in every date. Guys never complained about it. I can't imagine going on a date with a jeans on or leaving the house in a legging.
If the girl doesn't dress up the guy would think she doesn't care about him to even change her clothes from her everyday clothes no effort made.

[Lopezz1999]

Is this in the Middle East or Southeast Asia? These appear to be very different customs.. traditional I must also say.

[Opinion Owner]

France, we're very into fashion and guys like a feminine women. They would too pay because it make them feel manly.
Middle east wear hijab everywhere and Southeast Asia women are far from being feminine they all wear a shirt with a jeans and flip flop.

[Lopezz1999]

Damn the real women I see. I really hope it does make them feel manly, because I know that having to pay for most, if not all dates suck.

[Opinion Owner]

Then don't go on 4 date a week. Only date the girl you really like. She spend lot and lot of money to look perfect for you (even more than what you ll paid) so it would be very rude to ask her to paid.
In France they expect their date to look perfect on all date so women like it when men paid on date.
If the girl come in jeans you can be sure the guys wouldn't consider her like a real women and she would have to pay her part.

[Lopezz1999]

Informal dates are still pretty fun though, and there's actually no need to pay for many of them. I know you aren't accustomed to it, but your idea of a weekly day per se is more traditional than a date could be. As far as looks, you should really be dressing to impress your partner instead of convincing them that the payments of your company is worth the money that you spent on your looks. It's actually a lot easier on you once you realize that the man would pay for you, the woman, without you having to invest into your glamour as much because he is now paying for you out of sheer fondness for you.

[Opinion Owner]

Dress up is a ways to show you care for him and the date you want to be attractive to him not going out in your cleaning / sport clothes.
The guy pay for showing he liked the date and want to see you again.
That's like this it work and it's a lot easier.

[Lopezz1999]

Very well then.

[MimiMin]

I believe that whoever initiated the date should pay, unless they have plans on going dutch.

[Lopezz1999]

So men should pay?

[MimiMin]

No one said that.

[ShortCircuit]

Yeah, but such a standard is quite convenient for women, when men are forced into initiating 19 times out of 20.

[MimiMin]

@ShortCircuit source? More women than you think initiate dates, especially within social circles and long term relationships.

[Lopezz1999]

To be honest, I think me may be referring to first dates.

[Lopezz1999]

he* not me

[ShortCircuit]

I was

[MimiMin]

@ShortCircuit In that case, yes. I believe it should be made clear whether or not you're going dutch. Otherwise, if it's their idea then they should pay. But keep the option of splitting the bill available.

[Tarvold]

The man should pay for the first date and if she is at all interested, then the woman should immediately offer to pay for something like next coffee or dessert.

[blondfrog]

The waiter or waitress they should be honored that they have 2 turd sandwiches coming to their restaurant.

[Anonymous]

Whoever asked to go on a date should pay, women ask to go on dates just like men do.

[Lopezz1999]

Are you sure about that?

[Opinion Owner]

Yea I pay for dates if I ask for it or I will split the bill.

[Lopezz1999]

How often do you think a woman would ask a guy out? Especially on the first date?

[Opinion Owner]

Every girl is different

[GoodLuckCharlie]

There is no "should". I would gladly pay for dates. Some men won't. The best compromise would be to go dutch.

[Anonymous]

Well, since this is such an issue... go to no dates!! Fuck dating as a whole, the bedroom is free. ;)

So is the carpet floor and the car... did I mention the bath tub? Oh shit! How could I forget the kitchen counter?

[AtomicCheesing]

Split the bill the first dates.

[Lopezz1999]

Good.

[SnowHearth]

Whoever asks must pay, regardless of gender.

[Lopezz1999]

Who asks just about all of the time?

[SnowHearth]

all the time, or the majority of the time? don't fall in the falacy of generalization

[Lopezz1999]

Very well then. How likely are you to ask out a crush of yours? Or even initiate conversation?

[backdoorman]

Women rarely ask men out so this response is just a cop out.

[Lopezz1999]

@backdoorman Indeed lol

[SnowHearth]

@backdoorman I have asked my SO out and payed for the dates I go with him.

[SnowHearth]

I'm the one who asked my SO out, and the one who proposed.

[backdoorman]

Oh I know there are exceptions, but very few. This issue is still one about which women are still very sexist and hypocritical.

[SnowHearth]

@backdoorman is the way they were raised, to be dependant.
If we teach our daughters to be independent, when they grow up they might either pay or split the bill for their dates. Most women are taught to be weak... something that is not right

[backdoorman]

@SnowHearth That's the type of cop out women use so often to try to explain away their sexism. They don't seem to have the same tolerance for men using the same sort of excuses for their sexism.

[SnowHearth]

@backdoorman someone needs to teach them.

[backdoorman]

@SnowHearth Bullshit. Here in the US they already know.

[SnowHearth]

@backdoorman it looks they don't.

[backdoorman]

They do, they just refuse to change because they have no reason to. It's what is known as typical western female hypocrisy.

[Wingedz]

I pay for her as long as she really enjoy it.

[Anonymous]

Whoever makes more money

[douride2]

I usually pay my own way. Always have.

[Anonymous]

Whoever picks the venue.

[Liisjak]

You should pay for my dates. Problem solved.

[Decentguy]

whoever makes more moeny

[Maxemeister]

First date whoever asks then on split the bill

[yotes-of-472]

The one asking for the date should pay.

[TheUltimateSucc]

Dutch always.

[jman46241]

Dutch works best

[apple24]

I usually pay );

[menan111]

The guy should.

[yotes-of-472]

Why should he?

[Joshuaaa]

Gentelmen pay.

[OrdinaryGentleman]

Gee thanks

[Anonymous]

Go dutch

[heart5love]

Men should

[Lopezz1999]

Why men?

[heart5love]

Because they're men. It's the way they were designed by God. To be leaders and take care of and provide. If you don't want to pay on a date, then date a dude.

[Lopezz1999]

So by that logic with women being the submissive, does that mean that you must give in to sex if the man were to request for it? I have no belief in god by the way.

[heart5love]

Your lack of believe in a god doesn't mean you are right.

[Lopezz1999]

I don't care care. Read what I said.

[heart5love]

Women decide when men have sex, not the other way around.

[Lopezz1999]

Men decide when to pay for dates. Not the other way around.

[Lopezz1999]

See the double standard here?

[heart5love]

No. Men pay because it is nice.

[Lopezz1999]

Men pay because it's nice or they should pay because it's nice?

[heart5love]

Men PAY because it is showing he cares.

[Lopezz1999]

Unfortunately I don't care about why men pay here. I care about the opinions of everyone on who should pay and whatever reason.

[heart5love]

Well I gave you my opinion on it. Pay for her or be gay.

[Lopezz1999]

Nah, I won't be paying for any woman, nor will I be gay. I'll pay for my girlfriend however, because that's a girl that I actually care about.

[heart5love]

I meant pay for the girl you are with. Did not mean pay for all women.

[Lopezz1999]

Correct. I will not pay for the woman that I am with unless I care about her, and I wouldn't care about a woman that I'm trying to get to know. This includes anyone other than close friends or partners.

[ShayanMortazavi1998]

Lol she's going to be single her entire life and grow old with a bunch of cats

[Lopezz1999]

@ShayanMortazavi1998 She'll learn sooner or later.. hopefully.