Who pays for dates?

[Anonymous]

I’ve seen mixed opinions. What are y’all’s thoughts? I personally think it depends on who asks but I don't know.

Men

Women

50/50

[LiamJHayden]

I guess I am fortunate to have never been in a situation where it mattered to me. Anyway, the asker should at least offer to pay unless it was discussed beforehand. It seems like it would be very unfair for me to ask her out, choose activities which might be on the pricy side for her, and then mention that she gets to pay half.

[Asker]

Makes sense.

[Asker]

Like the guitar by the way , as an aspiring guitarist myself.

[Zack-Bann]

I think the asker should pay


But of course if we went and food then decided to take a walk and the other person suggested ice cream then it’s only right that person takes a turn paying

[Asker]

That’s a good compromise.

[OlderAndWiser]

For my generation, the man pays for everything on dates, it is never a source of conflict, men accept it as part of our role in being a provider, and it works for us. Apparently, the younger generation has discovered a better way of doing things but it is a frequent source of conflict and disagreement. Congratulations.

[dragoblack]

Though i would still offer, 50/50 should always be expected. The usa economy isn't in the 1950 where men made enough money to raise a family of 6. Hell, men barely make enough for himself or 2 people... plus there are those who abuse the "men always pay" culture, and use us only for them to have an expensive free shopping trip and dinner.

Men get dehumanized in USA dating and much of dating is "what do you have to offer me". Dating should be about finding someone you can vibe & feel comfortable with, that you feel you can be intimate with, someone who makes you feel happy just being around, someone who is supportive & genuinely caring.
Fuck, most of those interested in me tend to lose all interest at the slightest inconvenience and/or awkwardness, and they never talk about themselves or what kind of interest they are passionate about.
Most relationships i see, started off as a hookup and they only stayed together because the sex was good, only for it to turn into a toxic & abusive relationship, because they never actually got to know eachother before getting together.

In the end people should be dating 50/50, because there's less chance of being used or extorted, and you don't feel like you owe them anything. It becomes a genuine interaction.

[Asker]

I agree with the 50/50 part , but I think women dont get a fair shake in dating , helll some women are treated like trash by men.

[dragoblack]

Oh, no doubt on that, many men also have major insecurities and lack of emotional intelligence which they take out on women who reject them.

[Asker]

Even men I didn’t reject ghosted me.

[dragoblack]

There's major issues on both sides and a major lack of emotional intelligence & emotional maturity. Much os society needs to self-reflect and work on overcoming their insecurities before they should think of dating or having relationships

[Asker]

Amen

[NicholasRedone]

@dragoblack and some women just want a free ride and to be a tease and then later a two-timer even just speaking like you know, ghosters , liars, - humans can be horrible people humans can 😠

[14gurlz2gagonit]

I think it should be who's asking the other. So eating in a restaurant for instance... I hate going to restaurants and I would never suggest that. But, if she wants it so bad and to drag me into that setting that is like nails on a chalkboard for me... she better be paying. I'm not stupid either, I'm going to ask, "50/50 or are you asking me out?" If she's asking me out, I will ask "So you're paying right?" To assume makes a 'ass' out of 'u' and 'me.' (ass-u-me)

I'm more of a day hike, let's go fishing, come over because I'm going to BBQ type of dude. Princesses that don't know how to pop a squat, gold diggers and fat chicks hate me... and I'm okay with that. Anyways I digress, that's my idea of a good date. All that inorganic and usually expensive formal shit can lick my ass.

[slatyb]

There's no easy rule. When I was dating I was being paid much more than most of my dates so I paid most of the time. When I dated another engineer we split expenses, but not meal by meal. Instead we took turns paying. When we traveled we split expenses.

[Asker]

That makes sense

[slatyb]

Splitting expenses 50/50 is grossly unfair when one person, call them Helen, is paid $100K and the other, call them Louise, is paid $50K. Suppose they each have $3000 in monthly expenses. Helen has $64,000 in disposable income. Louise has $14,000. Discretionary expenses like restaurant meals cost Louise five times as much as they cost Helen. When they start dating, who do you think should be paying for dates?

[Kaneki05]

I wish polls would allow to cancel thy vote accidentally clicked men.

It's 50/50 or whomever is the richest or who asked in my view these are the terms really. Also if the girl will give something sexual whether HJ to BJ or more then the offer can be made so the guy does.

Not so common but there was a girl who said she would do that if one payed for it. Which then I think that's also fair.

[abc3643]

Usually I do. This is because I am the one who usually does the grocery shopping.

[Asker]

Can’t beat that

[Gayuglycowardv3]

Its on the restaurant to cover the expense you guys just have fun and when you have unprotected sex and forget to take your plan b there is always abortion because money and babies are all a social construct, be free as Abraham Lincoln declared you as free men

[Asker]

Lmao , I can’t have kids but that’s hilarious

[Nikki1989]

Whoever does the asking.

You would never ask someone out and then say, “by the way, you're paying.”

[Asker]

True

[Shy_Steve]

Have you ever asked a Guy out?

Have most Women?

[Asker]

@Shy_Steve i have

[Stevepro68]

I am old I pay but after 4 years and she has more money than me I don't fight anymore when she insists.

[Asker]

That’s a good compromise

[Abbycado]

I went 50/50 when I started dating my boyfriend.

[Asker]

That’s a good compromise depending on the situation of each person

[Abbycado]

I agree. I just didn’t want him (not that I had anything to worry about looking back) thinking he was owed anything for paying for me.

[Asker]

I feel the same about dating.

[DrPepper12]

First date? Split it. Do something so simple it won't break the bank or take a lot of time.

[Asker]

I guess that makes sense

[Anonymous]

When I was younger, and still dating it was me that paid. In the future it should be 50/50.. Why? Because women are strong and independent. They can pay for a change.

Drizzle drizzle.

[Asker]

True

[777GgG]

It depends on who asks and the occasion. Movie dates I buy tickets, he buys snackage. We went on a double date, he bought.

[exitseven]

it really depends on who extends the invitation. It is mostly the guy.

[NicholasRedone]

50/50 or I'd dump her then and there politely after paying 50/50 or even saying lady, hell I'll pay and I don't wanna second date, 🤪 firmly.

[Asker]

Depends on if the person has the money to afford it too , the money aspect goes into that a lot.

[NicholasRedone]

Lol lady in my moody mood since yesterday the clarity really is something awesome - I just realise to myself if I was in that situation, I wouldn't have even dated the broad. Sometimes a person does have to show they have some bite to them aka I won't be just another doormat 🚪😈 by being firm. Polite yet firm 👀

[NicholasRedone]

You could learn from that also - growls lol 😆

[NicholasRedone]

In conclusion; hell lady if people want to be a doormat or a user, whatever. I for one won't be in my current enlightened mood unrelatedly to GAG lol 😆 perspective is bliss and clarity 😄

[Asker]

Who’s in a moody mood?

[Samcandy1]

If the guy is a gentleman he will always be for the woman

[Asker]

As a woman if I had the money , I wouldn’t mind helping out some too , I guess it depends on the generation and how people were raised.

[Samcandy1]

If the guy is taking you on a date and he does not pay the bill it is a total red flag that he is a cheapskate and looking for a free ride. A lady should never pay her way regardless of how much money in her pocket

[Asker]

Well that’s your take and I respect that. A lot of people have changed with the times tho.

[Samcandy1]

Then there's definitely not the person to be dating

[Eleni0]

I was taught the one asked to go on a date that I grew up on.

[Asker]

That’s the most fair or offer to split the first one maybe, I don't know different people have different ideas on that.

[Eleni0]

Yep especially in my case we both are women.

[Asker]

True

[NathanDavis]

the restaurant

[Asker]

Wdym?

[NathanDavis]

they're tired of this nonsense... so when they see men and women fussing about it, the restaurant just pays for the meal... clear the table for more clients

and do hope you liked the food and the service so you can go back, since they just paid for your meal too!!

[Asker]

Lmao 🤣

[Apple1996]

Whoever has the dick in the relationship has to pay

[MysteriousDarkness]

@Apple1996
Why should the guy pay everytime especially if t h e woman works?

[Apple1996]

@MysteriousDarkness i didn't say guy. I just said whoever has the dick 🤷‍♀️

[MysteriousDarkness]

@Apple1996
That would be a guy.

[moneymagnet24]

Let's be real here
If you can't even buy a fuckin food on a date for her and in return you expecting loyalty. True love. & sex from her? 😂

[Apple1996]

@moneymagnet24 exactly 💯

[noohair]

I am old school... men pay. Unless the women does the asking...

[Falcon265]

Traditionally men paid I was raised to pay but it’s not always what the other person wants I have had girls not want to go on a second date because I paid

[trumpetplayerforlife]

First date the man after that 50/50

[Asker]

Depends on if the man asked for the first date or the woman.

[trumpetplayerforlife]

Take turns no matter who asked he pays for the first date after that I'd offer to pay

[Asker]

I wouldn’t ask him then ask him to pay I feel like that wouldn’t be fair.

[trumpetplayerforlife]

I've never had to ask a man on a date ig they always ask me lol but I see where you come from everyone is different that's why this is such a great question

[Asker]

True

[Gayuglycowardv3]

Offering isn't the same as paying. When you offer your making a suggestion of which you do to seem nice and not selfish. You dont want to pay and if you do or its 5050 its over again unless he's hot so rules dont apply as you want nothing getting in the way of you two eventually hooking up

[Sono83]

The man insisting tio pay is his way of telling the woman that they are indeed on a date.

[itsannalee]

Depends who asks.
Men who ask 50:50 are broke, and don’t date broke people.
Imagine you ask someone to out but can’t afford their meal or drinks.

[Asker]

I don’t think money is everything I wouldn’t mind dating someone who didn’t have much money as long as they have a job

[itsannalee]

Money isn’t everything.
But everything needs money.

Men who don’t have money but also who don’t have responsibility, that’s why they ask 50:50. Men with no money who have responsibility would still pay for date he asked for, even in the cheap restaurant or just go for coffee.

[Asker]

I guess that’s fair if he asked or if he didn’t have much money he could ask to do something that didn’t require money.

[itsannalee]

If you don’t have money for just a meals, you shouldn’t focus on dating world. Just focus on the job field instead.

That applies for men and women.

[Asker]

I guess so

[NicholasRedone]

@itsannalee and what if she asked - turns the tables doesn't it?

[itsannalee]

Asked what? Asked for date? Hangout. etc
Of course she should pay, it’s clearly what i said in the first comment.

[NicholasRedone]

@itsannalee it's always terrible when people don't pay or pay up lol

[Anonymous]

Why should it depend on who asks? How convenient that is for women considering they also expect men to approach and ask them out. So men are the ones who have to put themselves on the line and risk rejection, and they they get is also having to pay? How self-important and entitled can you get?

[Asker]

Women can ask too can they not? May I say that you sound like a ray of sunshine sir

[Opinion Owner]

Yes, women can ask. But they don't, because they don't have to. It's a privilege they are happy to take advantage of, but using it to also expect men to pay if very dishonest and sexist.

[Asker]

If I ask someone on a date Im not gonna ask them to pay for it , but that’s just me , after that I would switch off on the responsibility depending on who can afford what , I feel like that’s a fair compromise.

[Opinion Owner]

You're missing the point. Women don't ask men out.

[Asker]

They do tho , just because it hasn’t happened to you , doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen at all.

[Zack-Bann]

I’ve been asked out plenty of times
Many of my friends (men) have as well

It’s not a rule that women don’t ask men out

[Gayuglycowardv3]

@Zack-Bann Women hardly ever ask out if they do theyre highly attracted to said guy.

[Zack-Bann]

I don’t disagree with both statements
Just goes to show you need to generate attraction in order to get women to ask you out

It’s not a rule that you MUST ask first

[DepthsofMe]

The guy usually pays. I have offered to help with the bill. He always said no I got it.

[Asker]

At least you offered

[alice55]

Men do, I wouldn't ever date a man that asked for 50 / 50 I only want traditional relationship

[Asker]

I think times change , I don’t see my man as my bank. (No offense )

[alice55]

Well I'm prefer tradtional relationship don't matter if time change or not, majority of countries are conservative in the worlds, it's only a small percentage that got this whole 50/50 mentality, it don't feel romantic at all, if feel like it's a friends hang out not date.

[Asker]

I didn't mean split the bill I mean the guy can get it one time and the woman can get it another time , i guess it also depends on who makes more money.

[alice55]

I want to be a stay at home wife so
and it's the same things as 50/50, it's weird for a woman to pay for a man

[Asker]

I think it shows that you care , that you’re willing to help him out since he’s taken care of you I don't know that’s just my take.

[alice55]

Taking care of the house, the kids, etc... cooking, cleaning, dressing up feminine, etc.. show that you care too
Women don't need to pay men to show they care we have other job others ways to show we care

[Asker]

I can’t have kids so that wouldn’t apply to me.

[alice55]

Well you re not forced to pay for him just because you can’t have kid

[Asker]

I’d wanna help him some if Im totally dependent on my spouse for money and something happens down the road god forbid I’d be in a mess.

[alice55]

Yes in this case it would be hard
Many women work part time and put all the money on saving to help in case a trouble arise

[Asker]

That’s a smart decision to make sure you have something in case something does happen.

[alice55]

Yes but traditional relationship are still the best if you have children though children need one parents to stay at home to take care of them and Cook home cooked meals

[Asker]

I do agree that somebody should be home watching the kids

[alice55]

Yes thats better for them if not they re up to trouble

[Asker]

True

[Valdemort]

The people on the date.

[Asker]

So both pay separate?

[jahaims]

That would depend on their values

[Asker]

Also true , it depends on how they were raised , different people have different ideas on that.

[Anonymous]

taxpayers pay for the date

[Asker]

Lmao 🤣

[Anonymous]

Who ever has more money.

[RedInnocent69]

Whoever invites

[Asker]

That’s true

[Becky93]

The asker does.

[Asker]

Makes sense

[sirderpsalot123]

I think men should pay

[Asker]

I think it depends on who does the asking

[sirderpsalot123]

That's usually the man lol

[Asker]

True I guess 🤣

[Kelly3_]

The asker pays.

[MatureMan40]

I pay.

[Asker]

Again I guess it depends on who asks and I guess the man asks more.

[LiamS95]

If I ask a woman out for dinner I pay.

[tzdc21]

Whoever asks