Who should pay for a date?

Question

Lliam · Accepted Answer

I'd say that the person who asks someone on a date should pay. I mean, it would be weird of a girl asked a guy on a date and then expected him to pay for it.
But a gentleman would at least offer. Although, he would have dominance issues if he insisted.

I like the lady-gentleman game where the guy treats her as special and she is gracious.

I have a problem with guys who are either too cheap to pay or are afraid that all women want to do is take advantage. Those guys are emotional pygmies.

I also have a major problem with guys who think she owes him something (sex) if he pays for a measly meal.

It can be nice gesture if a girl offers to pay, or go Dutch. But on a first date, it would a red flag if she absolutely insisted. It would seem ungracious, unladylike, insecure, paranoid, or radically feminist.

If two people are dating regularly, it's fair for the girl to pay sometimes.

HighValue · Accepted Answer

Each person pays their own way so nobody feels used or obligated. Don't split the bill either because if one person orders $10 worth of stuff and the other gets $30, that isn't fair at all.

I wouldn't pay for a woman until after she paid for me first. Too many of them are just looking for a free meal.

And the ones that say, "whoever asks the other out should pay" are wrong because then they just avoid asking anyone out. It is a typical deceptive response when they just don't want to admit that they expect the other person to pay.

Sarahr123 · Accepted Answer

Apparently as a rule of thumb the man pays for the first date. I would never go on a date however if I did I would split it in half.

Some men have this notion that restaurant bills and hotel bills should always be paid by the man. These men tend to be older men from the gentlemen’s era and were all born before the 1980s.

Now that chivalry is gone and men no longer expect virgin wives and don’t want to court women or work hard to woo women anymore, traditional women seem to just stay single in hopes of prince charming stumbling into her life out of nowhere or low standard men and women just get together and get married.

TwinkleLily5 · Accepted Answer

I believe men who are serial daters are the guys who have come up with the women should pay on dates-I’m sure it gets costly and they have found a lot of women to not be worth it.
If a man ask me to pay on a date that would be the last time he sees me.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

The guy should pay unless it is discussed and different arrangements are made in advance. And a guy paying for a date does NOT obligate a woman to have sex or even just give him a good night kiss. I've never had a woman pay for a date (except for a girlfriend taking me out for my birthday.) And I've had plenty of first dates that never went anywhere, no sex, no making out, no holding hands, nothing. And that's okay.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

I think people should pay for themselves unless one has significantly more money than the other.

Shizunk · Answer

I don't care. Since I rather expect women to not focus on their career and instead advertise other qualities, and ultimately I am looking for a stay at home wife, my default expectation is I am going to pay. I will probably ask though.
If a girl is not comfortable with me paying I am not forcing her money back into her wallet, obviously. But I will rarely go on a date if I don't already know a woman's life goals and plans at least a bit, so if she wants to be all proud and career oriented, there is a good chance she is not getting a date in the first place. So expecting to pay is a reasonable guess in my case.

DonkeyDan · Answer

In the past I've normally paid for most meals or activities, with the woman paying now and then.
But these days it's normally a go Dutch situation, equal rights and all, I've had some girls get the right hump because I think I should pay for them, apparently that kind of thinking is chauvinistic! And there was me just thinking I was being a traditional gentleman. Others expect me to pay for dinner, which is a little offensive at times, I don't mind paying for dinner but it shouldn't just be expected, I'm not expecting them to put out, so why they expect me to pay for dinner is beyond me 🤷🏻‍♂️
So now, I'll always offer and then we can come to an agreement from there, fed up of getting into confrontations with women over who's responsibility it is to pay the bill, usually we end up splitting it.

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

Anyone, or ideally the person that chooses the venue.

i tend to pay if I chose as it was my idea.

half of a bill could be £70 ($96) or usually more, actually yes it normally more.

We tended to do swap arounds, she chose one I chose one etc, hers may be a lunch rather than a meal out.

i refuse to go to cheap food places, simply because it’s cheap, must have good food or we go where I choose.

first dates are usually different, it should be the person doing the asking and choosing.

or even I don’t know talk about it before hand lol

Ninani · Answer

Unless we've agreed on anything else, we each pay for ourselves. It happens that my date offers to pay and that I'll accept, but I don't ask for it or expect it. I have paid on dates too, but usually I can't afford it and even express that when we plan the date, so we can go to venues that are affordable.

worldscolide · Answer

I don't know really. I know most women, even feminist ones hate when a man asks to split the bill. I have always been of the mind set that whom ever asks the other out should pay, or at least the bill should be split.

Of course there is the other side of it, when I dated my wife she never paid, she had no job, and was in college, I felt like a shitty person if iahe felt the need to pay.. I think the most she did was put gas in my car, which I never knew about until I was going home.. I'd have refused if I had known or at least tried to pay her back.

Now that we are married and she works a little, I still pay for most things, and she helps out where she can.

InferiorElegy · Answer

These days both people.

The reason why men used to always pay for dates was because females never used to be able to work, you all fought for equality but only like equality when it favours you.

You can't and won't pay for your own meal because you still believe a man should, why should he? All these toxic females out there using men for free meals and planning on ghosting the guy afterwards, guys will never know if a female is like that so why should he was his time and hard earned money for trash like that?

If there is a genuine interest in wanting to get to know each other, that should still be there even if you pay for your own meal. If you say you have genuine interest in the guy but if he doesn't pay for the date, you'd lose interest, what you are now saying is you only have interest in him as long as he pays for it.

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

If i was a serious relationship, the girl ain't allowed to pay, she have to know that her man is able to provide for her and feed her...

Especially knowing that after marriage she will become a housewife which means it will be the norm for the husband to pay for everything...

If it's a 1st date i'll pay but if i sense that we aren't getting along with each other and we had to go a second time than i'll let her pay because i'm not ready to waste my money on someone who ain't compatible with me...

daisy_jones · Answer

I personally get a bit awkward when someone who I'm not close with pays for me because I will after that always feel like I owe that person something. First few dates, I'd say split the bill. Later on in a relationship, however you feel like. He can pay sometimes, I can pay on other occasions, or split the bill again.

lilaccc · Answer

whenever i date a guy, i always want to pay for myself, and he can pay for himself. why? so that i don't have a debt or give him high hopes so that he can be with me and his money is not wasted.

except he really want offers himself or my husband in the future lol

KrisPW · Answer

I think it should be the person doing the asking, which is probably unfair because men are still expected to most of the asking. I was always prepared to go dutch however, and never ordered anything extravagant. Certainly nothing I wouldn't be happy paying for on my own.

DaveJord · Answer

If I ask a girl out I am expecting to pay. On the first day.

But I hate this culture where women wait on guys to ask, every time and will not take the initiative themselves. Its 2021 ladies!!!

Its costly as hell to date, after the 3rd or 4th date they should be splitting it, and or asking tge guys out.

integrale77 · Answer

I would pay but it makes it feel appreciated if the woman offers to chip in even though I'll probably decline the offer!

I work on the principal that it should never be assumed one person will be paying even if you haven't got any money to hand now offer to settle up later (that's often going to get a don't worry about it response).

Domanihatu · Answer

The one doing the asking should also be the one doing the paying. We live in a capitalist society and this is just simple capitalism. You shouldn't ask for an interaction you cannot (or aren't willing to) pay for. This remains true even into marriage... If I ask my wife out on a date, then I expect to (and am completely capable of) pay for the date. When my wife asks me out on a date, then she pays and I already know she is completely capable of doing so.

techguy36 · Answer

Having a more traditional perspective regarding dating, I do always anticipate covering expenses while getting to know someone. Although, I typically date women within my career field so it has been my experience they allow the "kind" gesture once or twice especially the first or second date. While opting to share in any costs moving forward.

CTOswald · Answer

I say for a first date, whoever asked the other one on the date should pay. Or at the very least, offer to pay. If there's a second date, I would hope by that point they would be able to have a non-awkward conversation about who's paying the 2nd time.

SAUL077 · Answer

Probably the guy. At least for the first couple dates. Once you are in a relationship then I think it's okay for the girl to pay every once in a while. And no it isn't expected that you need to have sex cause the guy paid. But you always have to be wary of the girls that only go out with you for the free lunch/activity.

AviatorTom · Answer

If it's not discussed beforehand, the guy should pay. It really should be discussed before the date, or early in the date, who pays for what, and costs are very often shared.

When I was single, after my divorce, usually the first date was dinner, and we usually shared the bill 50-50.

Abundantly_depleated · Answer

Each person should have to bring their previous tax returns and last three pay stubs. The meal should then be divided according to the percentage each person makes...😐...😐...😐. . . . . I mean the woman because fair is fair. We did it for years, now it's their turn.

And speaking of equality, why are we not calling it a womenstrual period and womenopause? I'm offended and my feelings are hurt. I need to speak to a manager immediately!

loveslongnails · Answer

Not this question again! The person who asked should pay for it, however even if a woman asks me I prefer to do it. The idea that if a woman pays she's doesn't "owe" a guy to give any sort of attention or sexual favor is a false idea. If you are with that sort of a guy, it doesn't matter what you do if he has expectations, so paying for a date may free YOUR mind but it has nothing to do with his mind!

ohshee · Answer

I will. So now let's go to a club. Go dancing, listen , to music or let's go get on the go-karts or let's go bungee jumping parasailing the camel races air balloon races

Slingblade1126 · Answer

If I ask a girl out I'm expecting to pay mainly because I'm picking the place and she is my guest. I will make that clear before we even go out. It's not about being the "man" or being "sexist" it's about being a decent person.

Middle-aged_maniac · Answer

The man pays. But the man should also be doing the asking too. Maybe things have changed now, but in my generation the man takes the initiative. Perhaps it's different now and I can accept change. The new replaces the old. Perfectly natural. But I'm hard-wired to think men should do the pursuing and the paying.

Mossberg500 · Answer

If the Neo-feminsts would STFU I'd say "The Guy" to be chivalrous. I prefer my women who still are that way and don't buy into the leftist drivel. Otherwise, in my general opinion, women have all but killed "chivalry." So to those, i'd say, you wanted equality you pick up half the bill.

Jessica405 · Answer

I believe it should be the person instigating the date. If a guy asked me out and I accepted,  I would expect him to pay. If he asked for a second date, I would offer to pay, or at least pay half.

TaleTeller · Answer

If I ask a girl out, I pay and expect her to allow me that. I don't want to haggle over who gets the check.
Now if a girl asked me out, I would offer to pay (Kind of cause I'd have been amazed that I was asked) but wouldn't object to splitting a bill.
I don't want it to become a point of friction in any case.

So, Subarugirl, who's doing the asking, and if it's you asking, do you pay, split it, or expect him to pay?

Anonymous · Answer

Split, Then it's fair. Or have an arrangement where the girl pays for one date and then the boy pays for the next. It's nice to treat your significant other.

northerngal · Answer

The person who asked or initiated the date should be prepared to pay unless mutually agreed to go dutch.

SnakeBoop · Answer

Split for whatever each person got unless stipulated WELL BEFORE if only one was paying.

JennBITx · Answer

If it is a first date I would pay my own and they would pay their. I do not want them to expect something, because they paid for the meal. I know not all men are like this. I am just cautious.

Paul09 · Answer

I'll always find that question weird. Both are grown ass adults, both are their for the same reason. Both have jobs, both can pay for themselves. It's only a first date, a total stranger, You want to get to know. In normal situations, I'd say who ever asks can maybe pay. But since only men ask women out, that just doesn't work.

888theGreat · Answer

If she is good looking , the male. If she is ugly , the female. I pay and all tips  She pays

WindAtMyBack · Answer

Whatever works for the two of you.

I'm old school and I think the man should pay by default. But I also think it's not a big deal to split it. It's not something worth stressing over. There are more important things than who pays.

Bobsyoruncle · Answer

Easy... The one who did the asking out for a date. Either one, the man OR the woman, should feel free to do that ‘asking’. AND also be equally willing to do that ‘paying’.

Anonymous · Answer

I make it into a fun bet. Flip a coin or roll a dice, best of both worths. You don’t get judged a cheapskate for not wanting to throw all your money at women who see being gifted resources contantly as expected and acceptable, while also on average only spending the amount that splitting would cost. It keeps the ones who expect you to pay happen and the ones who want to split happy.

AvenolFinch · Answer

It's up to the respective couple personally. I always pay simply because I want to, but if the girlfriend wanted to split or cover it I wouldn't object to profusely. It's a partnership. A team against the rest of the world. It's important to feel you contribute.

Spookydood · Answer

I was always used to paying, wasn't a big deal at all. Had two girls insist on paying for the date, and a few who covered for their own portion. *shrug*

humanearth · Answer

In my younger years, The man would pay no matter who asked who.

But The times are changing. I would say if the man ask her out he pays, woman ask man out she pays.

No if your both the same sex. You go Dutch

t-8900 · Answer

it would be nice if we can go the first 2 dates going dutch so i know you're really coming back to see ME and i'm not a damn foodie call. after that I dont mind paying tbh

CindyRuns · Answer

On any given date, one party or the other. That said, I'm a firm believer in switching off and treating a guy too !!!

Daniela1982 · Answer

Neither. You go Dutch Treat and that way you won't have someone going out with you just for a free meal. and there are people who do that.

msc545 · Answer

The women will say "whoever asks" which is basically a bullshit excuse since we all know men do almost all the asking because women won't.

kellytheman · Answer

Usually it should be the guy especially if he is the one that asked for it. I usually for sure on the first date but I have had girls either pay half the dinner bill or pay for the activity we are doing like going bowling or a movie.

chrissykerdock · Answer

the man should afterall he's likely getting a blowjob

MikeTheBartender · Answer

This would have worked better as a poll. I'm too lazy to scroll through 100 answers.

Cheechee4me · Answer

Cut the crap. This is such old red pill bs. Find someone who has the same values as you and move on.

exitseven · Answer

I would have said that the guy always pays but maybe i can reconsider and say that the person that does the asking is the one that pays.

BobbyC65 · Answer

That depends on the person who's being asked out. Like I'm just saying. If I asked you out I pay. If you asked me out you pay.  That's how asking a girl or a boy out works.

jshm2 · Answer

No one.  Dine and dash, Bonny and Clyde. It proves you got each others backs!

nawtee_me · Answer

whom ever ask the other out should pay unless the other wants to. It is better to let them pay rather than offend them for not letting them pay. But generally if one asked the other out then they should pay.

Anonymous · Answer

Probably whoever does the asking, but I always pay the tip in cash.  Sometimes I would like to split the bill to be fair if it’s our second date or if one got a more expensive dish.

devilish-cutie · Answer

The one that invites (i did ask guys on a date) Byeee :)

tilmyheadblows · Answer

The person that invites the other out should pay unless discussed then 50/50

VanillaSalt · Answer

Ideally men… but with the state of women 50:50 regardless who asks.

silvermoon84 · Answer

Either go dutch or whoever does the asking out should pay (although I prefer going dutch)

Static_In_The_Attic · Answer

I guess you’ll just have to find out when we go on a date.

BossThe2nd · Answer

I split the bill and I expect no objections on their end.

crmoore · Answer

I'd prefer paying but that doesn't mean men 'should.' Relationships dynamics vary from relationships to relationships. There isn't necessarily a 'right' way to do it.

Slartybartfast · Answer

I've always paid. My last date cost me $1100, why I stopped dating. Been single ever since.

Who should pay for a date?

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