Not this question again! The person who asked should pay for it, however even if a woman asks me I prefer to do it. The idea that if a woman pays she's doesn't "owe" a guy to give any sort of attention or sexual favor is a false idea. If you are with that sort of a guy, it doesn't matter what you do if he has expectations, so paying for a date may free YOUR mind but it has nothing to do with his mind!
I will. So now let's go to a club. Go dancing, listen , to music or let's go get on the go-karts or let's go bungee jumping parasailing the camel races air balloon races
If I ask a girl out I'm expecting to pay mainly because I'm picking the place and she is my guest. I will make that clear before we even go out. It's not about being the "man" or being "sexist" it's about being a decent person.
The man pays. But the man should also be doing the asking too. Maybe things have changed now, but in my generation the man takes the initiative. Perhaps it's different now and I can accept change. The new replaces the old. Perfectly natural. But I'm hard-wired to think men should do the pursuing and the paying.
If the Neo-feminsts would STFU I'd say "The Guy" to be chivalrous. I prefer my women who still are that way and don't buy into the leftist drivel. Otherwise, in my general opinion, women have all but killed "chivalry." So to those, i'd say, you wanted equality you pick up half the bill.
I believe it should be the person instigating the date. If a guy asked me out and I accepted, I would expect him to pay. If he asked for a second date, I would offer to pay, or at least pay half.
OIC so your in a relationship. Damn I wanna know how people that think like you that are single manage. I can’t justify paying anymore. Many women are just out for a free meal and I’m not about to be used like that. Fighting my instinct here but the trust is no longer there
It’s become common unfortunately. And the every interaction following metoo has been a risk. Either it’s happening more frequently or being reported more often but the rate of false allegations has dramatically increased. Many times there’s no accountability for these accusers and just the accusations are enough to end a man’s career, friendships, families, even causing suicide.
So being clear. The risk for men in dating is… she might be using you… if she isn’t she might change her mind even years down the road and you could STILL get charged… and IF you make it past this divorce rates are 53% with 80% of that filed by women meaning odds are it will fail anyway and probably in a way I have no control over… then when it does end there’s a 90% chance I have to pay 50% of my income until she remarried.
Considering all this wondering who should pay for the date seems trivial compared to should we even bother dating at all. But the cost is almost completely the man’s to absorb regardless.
If I ask a girl out, I pay and expect her to allow me that. I don't want to haggle over who gets the check. Now if a girl asked me out, I would offer to pay (Kind of cause I'd have been amazed that I was asked) but wouldn't object to splitting a bill. I don't want it to become a point of friction in any case.
So, Subarugirl, who's doing the asking, and if it's you asking, do you pay, split it, or expect him to pay?
Split, Then it's fair. Or have an arrangement where the girl pays for one date and then the boy pays for the next. It's nice to treat your significant other.
If it is a first date I would pay my own and they would pay their. I do not want them to expect something, because they paid for the meal. I know not all men are like this. I am just cautious.
Yeah I noticed a girl get nervous when I payed for all of an expensive meal on a first date. I just wanted to have a good time with her, I didn't think that she owed me something or that paying for the meal meant I could have sex with her. But I could tell she thought I was thinking that.
I’m absolutely like this lol. If I’m paying I expect your undivided attention and respect. I don’t expect sex but you better at least be there with the intention of being my expectation. If you there to eat you don’t deserve my money.
I'll always find that question weird. Both are grown ass adults, both are their for the same reason. Both have jobs, both can pay for themselves. It's only a first date, a total stranger, You want to get to know. In normal situations, I'd say who ever asks can maybe pay. But since only men ask women out, that just doesn't work.
I'm old school and I think the man should pay by default. But I also think it's not a big deal to split it. It's not something worth stressing over. There are more important things than who pays.
Either one, the man OR the woman, should feel free to do that ‘asking’.
AND also be equally willing to do that ‘paying’.
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Anonymous
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I make it into a fun bet. Flip a coin or roll a dice, best of both worths. You don’t get judged a cheapskate for not wanting to throw all your money at women who see being gifted resources contantly as expected and acceptable, while also on average only spending the amount that splitting would cost. It keeps the ones who expect you to pay happen and the ones who want to split happy.
It's up to the respective couple personally. I always pay simply because I want to, but if the girlfriend wanted to split or cover it I wouldn't object to profusely. It's a partnership. A team against the rest of the world. It's important to feel you contribute.
I was always used to paying, wasn't a big deal at all. Had two girls insist on paying for the date, and a few who covered for their own portion. *shrug*
it would be nice if we can go the first 2 dates going dutch so i know you're really coming back to see ME and i'm not a damn foodie call. after that I dont mind paying tbh
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Not this question again! The person who asked should pay for it, however even if a woman asks me I prefer to do it. The idea that if a woman pays she's doesn't "owe" a guy to give any sort of attention or sexual favor is a false idea. If you are with that sort of a guy, it doesn't matter what you do if he has expectations, so paying for a date may free YOUR mind but it has nothing to do with his mind!
I will. So now let's go to a club. Go dancing, listen , to music or let's go get on the go-karts or let's go bungee jumping parasailing the camel races air balloon races
If I ask a girl out I'm expecting to pay mainly because I'm picking the place and she is my guest. I will make that clear before we even go out. It's not about being the "man" or being "sexist" it's about being a decent person.
Exactly, the person who initiates pays, unless something else is agreed upon beforehand, it’s etiquette.
Agree. If you invite me to your home for dinner, you wouldn't expect me to bring the food and cook it.
Yes exactly!
The man pays. But the man should also be doing the asking too. Maybe things have changed now, but in my generation the man takes the initiative. Perhaps it's different now and I can accept change. The new replaces the old. Perfectly natural. But I'm hard-wired to think men should do the pursuing and the paying.
If the Neo-feminsts would STFU I'd say "The Guy" to be chivalrous. I prefer my women who still are that way and don't buy into the leftist drivel. Otherwise, in my general opinion, women have all but killed "chivalry." So to those, i'd say, you wanted equality you pick up half the bill.
I believe it should be the person instigating the date. If a guy asked me out and I accepted,
I would expect him to pay. If he asked for a second date, I would offer to pay, or at least pay half.
If you don’t mind me asking when was the last time you went on a date?
@VanillaSalt I dated my guy 5 years ago for a month before we started living together.
OIC so your in a relationship. Damn I wanna know how people that think like you that are single manage. I can’t justify paying anymore. Many women are just out for a free meal and I’m not about to be used like that. Fighting my instinct here but the trust is no longer there
@VanillaSalt Some girls at uni used to accept dates just to get a free meal!
It’s become common unfortunately. And the every interaction following metoo has been a risk. Either it’s happening more frequently or being reported more often but the rate of false allegations has dramatically increased. Many times there’s no accountability for these accusers and just the accusations are enough to end a man’s career, friendships, families, even causing suicide.
So being clear. The risk for men in dating is… she might be using you… if she isn’t she might change her mind even years down the road and you could STILL get charged… and IF you make it past this divorce rates are 53% with 80% of that filed by women meaning odds are it will fail anyway and probably in a way I have no control over… then when it does end there’s a 90% chance I have to pay 50% of my income until she remarried.
Considering all this wondering who should pay for the date seems trivial compared to should we even bother dating at all. But the cost is almost completely the man’s to absorb regardless.
If I ask a girl out, I pay and expect her to allow me that. I don't want to haggle over who gets the check.
Now if a girl asked me out, I would offer to pay (Kind of cause I'd have been amazed that I was asked) but wouldn't object to splitting a bill.
I don't want it to become a point of friction in any case.
So, Subarugirl, who's doing the asking, and if it's you asking, do you pay, split it, or expect him to pay?
If I ask I pay
Excellent! Would you object if he offered?
Split, Then it's fair. Or have an arrangement where the girl pays for one date and then the boy pays for the next. It's nice to treat your significant other.
The person who asked or initiated the date should be prepared to pay unless mutually agreed to go dutch.
Split for whatever each person got unless stipulated WELL BEFORE if only one was paying.
If it is a first date I would pay my own and they would pay their. I do not want them to expect something, because they paid for the meal. I know not all men are like this. I am just cautious.
Yeah I noticed a girl get nervous when I payed for all of an expensive meal on a first date. I just wanted to have a good time with her, I didn't think that she owed me something or that paying for the meal meant I could have sex with her. But I could tell she thought I was thinking that.
@Jouth it can be just taken that way, but I have been with gentleman who are not that way, so I know good ones exist.
Well she ended the date and asked me to take her home because as we were making out I'm pretty sure she was scared for her safety
I’m absolutely like this lol. If I’m paying I expect your undivided attention and respect. I don’t expect sex but you better at least be there with the intention of being my expectation. If you there to eat you don’t deserve my money.
I'll always find that question weird. Both are grown ass adults, both are their for the same reason. Both have jobs, both can pay for themselves. It's only a first date, a total stranger, You want to get to know. In normal situations, I'd say who ever asks can maybe pay. But since only men ask women out, that just doesn't work.
If she is good looking , the male. If she is ugly , the female.
Whatever works for the two of you.
I'm old school and I think the man should pay by default. But I also think it's not a big deal to split it. It's not something worth stressing over. There are more important things than who pays.
Easy...
The one who did the asking out for a date.
Either one, the man OR the woman, should feel free to do that ‘asking’.
AND also be equally willing to do that ‘paying’.
I make it into a fun bet. Flip a coin or roll a dice, best of both worths. You don’t get judged a cheapskate for not wanting to throw all your money at women who see being gifted resources contantly as expected and acceptable, while also on average only spending the amount that splitting would cost. It keeps the ones who expect you to pay happen and the ones who want to split happy.
It's up to the respective couple personally. I always pay simply because I want to, but if the girlfriend wanted to split or cover it I wouldn't object to profusely. It's a partnership. A team against the rest of the world. It's important to feel you contribute.
I was always used to paying, wasn't a big deal at all. Had two girls insist on paying for the date, and a few who covered for their own portion. *shrug*
In my younger years, The man would pay no matter who asked who.
But The times are changing. I would say if the man ask her out he pays, woman ask man out she pays.
No if your both the same sex. You go Dutch
it would be nice if we can go the first 2 dates going dutch so i know you're really coming back to see ME and i'm not a damn foodie call. after that I dont mind paying tbh