Slept with him too soon - can I fix this?

[Anonymous]

This cute guy I knew through friends asked for my number one night, and we did some (what I think was) flirty text messaging for a few weeks, that included him asking if he would see me at certain upcoming events etc. The one night, before any kind of date had happened, we bumped into each other drunk and ended up sleeping together. This has happened a few times now, but he has gone cold on the messaging.

I'm guessing he has no real incentive to date me now as he gets to go home with me. If I stop sleeping with him, might I redeem the situation and get a date? Or is it too late?

[Stacyzee]

I don't know it might be too late. You probably gave off the impression that you are "easy".

Usually, guys do that with a girl because they want to satisfy their physical urges, but then they also think, well how many other guys has she done this with?

He probably doesn't want to get to know you further because he got what he wanted way too easy (a lot of guys like a challenge).

All you can do is go with the flow and hope that he calls you. If he does, just redeem yourself by not getting so intoxicated, and do not sleep with him.

If he asks why you're not giving in anymore, tell him you enjoyed what you two did but it wasn't you, because you don't usually sleep with people so soon.

If he doesn't call, just move on there are plenty of wonderful guys out there that you can have a chance at dating.

[darlanoy0510]

Hmm you can try. There are no too late for anything. What would you like to do for date with him?Just remember if he doesn't stay around it not your fault because he probably never intention to date you in the first place.

[Misty_04]

Probably too late. Only thing you can do is not contact him and see if he comes round. Wouldn't hold your breath though.

[Storyteller13]

Tough call. The best that I can suggest is to talk to him. Say you'd like to take sex off the table for a bit (if that's what you want.) Then get him to take you on a real date and everything. If he bails out when you say no sex, then that's all he was after. If he does want a relationship, then he'll put in the work to make it happen.

[Asker]

I am not sure myself that I want a relationship, but would like to hang out with him at least!

[Storyteller13]

Then just ask him over to hang out some time. You could still have sex if you want, can just do other stuff first.

[Anonymous]

The alcohol always gets the blame for peoples mistakes. No you can't fix this. Chances are high that he will disappear if you stop the sex now. Guys hate it when girls throw the relationship in reverse, and act like everything in the past was a mistake. In many cases we would rather just move on to a new relationship.

[Asker]

I am not saying it was a mistake! BUT I don't want it to continue quite the way it is...in the beginning I felt like he wanted me, now I don't - his altered behavior has led to this. And maybe he doesn't want me, that's fine. The point is that if he isn't at all keen I don't want to be just a convenience thing for him. Hope that makes sense.

[Mtsmith]

It may be. But talk (no text or booze), tell him you want sex cooled off, and what you want. Then you will know.

Remember, it is hard to go back, but it can happen.

[Confused-66]

Probably too late as he has had the goods and might now just want to move on and get another notch on his belt with another girl.

[Anonymous]

Doubt it. If he's gone cold the only time he's going to want anything from you is when he can't get sex elsewhere. Sadly you are now put into a certain category & no time will change that.

[Anonymous]

too late.