What to do if you're 24 and have never dated?

Question

So I'm 24 years old now and I have never in my life gone out on any dates with any girls and have little knowledge about dating other than cliche stuff. Is there any particular reason I have never dated before? It makes me sad I never spend time with any girls and the longer I go without it the more sad I seem to get :(. I am nice to women, try to dress nice in public, and work hard at school to be intelligent so why do I never date ever? Oh yeah I'm a virgin too btw.. :((

DaniJ · Accepted Answer

Okay, here's what you do.

Step one: RELAX.

Step two: the end.

Seriously, I know it is really hard not to be with someone while you are watching everyone else have a relationship, but TRUST me. It is much better this way for now.

Reasons why you should stay single for now:

-1. you aren't actually majorly crushing on a girl, so what's the point in dating one? For the status? For meaningless sex? consider your motives. The reason for dating should be to get to know someone that you really like a lot better.

-2. relationship built on attraction RARELY last as long as relationships built on a strong friendship that has already been tested by fire. (ever heard the phrase, "I married my best friend?")

-3. You have objectivity. You aren't currently clouded by your own emotions when it comes to relationships. You are able to see all parts of the situation objectively. The second you let yourself be carried away by someone, all logic disappears. You lower your standards without even realizing it, and set up these lofty expectations that just come crashing down. As long as you force yourself to think things through, you will have control over yourself.

-4. The free time... Think about it - In a relationship, what do people have time for? school, work, housework, and dating. It's kind of a time-sucking activity. And what do you do with the free time you currently have? If your answer isn't "actively seeking a career for to support a family someday of course," then I think you need to reevaluate where you're headed in life. What is the point in dating if you haven't even found who you are going to be yet? You can't start a relationship with someone when you don't even know who you are.

-5. No Drama... This one fits right into number 4 as well. If you're busy becoming your future self, how could you possibly have time for the drama of ex-girlfriends? Because, face it- most people get it right the first time, so it's practically inevitable that you will have at LEAST one ex. The longer you postpone that, the better off you'll be.

Here's what you do:

Treat women with respect. Like sisters, only less... related. Be there for them when they need you, and be a friend to them. One day, you will realize that one of these lady friends is your perfect dream girl from fantasy land and you can get married and live happily ever after. (maybe not those EXACT words... but you get the idea.) You will already know how a relationship will work between the two of you, since you will have "perfected" your friendship. You will be well on your way to becoming the kind of man that can make any woman proud. And once this happens, it's unlikely that a best friend will dump you in a way likely to cause drama.

CatholicVirginia · Accepted Answer

Like everyone else said, you're pretty good looking. Embrace that. Have confidence in it. The minute you start to walk around with confidence, girls are going to notice you, and the daring ones are going to talk to you.

It's likely confidence for the reason you haven't dated. You can date, you know. Join a club at school. Ask a girl out. Or, if that's too much, talk to a girl in class and ask her to study with you. Just be really easygoing and get her involved in the conversation. Make it a conversation, about something either you or she is passionate about (and that is mildly interesting). The last thing you want is for the conversation you two have to feel like a chore for her.

bobbi789 · Accepted Answer

From your profile picture, it looks like you shouldn't have any problem getting dates. I mean that genuinely! How many women have you asked out? You can argue that women should initiate dating too, but in reality that job is typically left to the guy. Just be confident, strike up a conversation with a girl, and if it goes well ask her out. If she says no, there's no harm done and it wasn't meant to be anyway. Confidence helps a lot, but a lot of girls also think shyness is cute so don't worry either way. The same goes for being inexperienced -- like other girls have said, virgins are often more appealing than a guy that's slept around. Good luck!

animalwithin · Accepted Answer

You seem like a cool guy man, I'd say your biggest problem is your inability to approach women. Are you approaching women? If not, I know that avoiding rejection is the biggest thing on your mind but you will ge nowhere with women unless you make an effort to get out there and get to know them. I don mean become some pickup artist or something, you just need to get over your fear of approaching. Rejection is fun, looking back, the funniest times in my life are when I failed with women. I tried the stupidest crap but I put myself out there and as a result I am very confident in who I am today and approaching is a blast.

You have to work on yourself too. Sittig and having a woe-is-me attitude isn't helping you out. Don't base your happiness in life on the quantity of women in your life, as hard as it is. Fill your life with things that you love and excite you, become an interesting person, and cultivate love for yourself. Women can detect a man who's so distraught with his dating "success" and it's not attractive. You need to work on your life and yourself and forget about your need/want for women.

BluefireJon · Accepted Answer

Target these 10% females that you don't consider normal people! For one reason you already don't have them on a pedestal and two chances are others feel the same way about them too so they probably do not get a lot of attention. Just ask them if they would like to work out a few problems after class (or whenever), its pretty cheesy but she will know that you are interested in more than just doing homework... Then just get to know her, see if you enjoy or don't enjoy her company and carry on from there.

Anonymous · Answer

Don't get depressed over it there is someone in the world for everybody. Your stil young and will find someone eventually. Just give it some time. It's not that bad being a virgin and the age of 24.. a lot better than being a manwhore. I would much rather date a virgin than someone who has slept with 20 women. I use to be the same way as you. I didn't have a date until I was 20 years old and the first guy that showed a little extra attention to me I jumped the gun and wanted to date him so bad. He ended up treating me like crap and broke my heart more than once. Just goes to show that patience is a virtue

Anonymous · Answer

I'm in a similar situation, 24 year old virgin who never dated. But I know the reasons why I didn't date/have sex. I just wasn't interested and so focused on getting a job and being financially stable that everything else blipped off the radar. In the crowd I hung out with in college, hardly anyone dated. Most of the women I consider friends were focused on getting good grades, maintaining their scholarships, building up their portfolios, prepping for interviews, and getting a job. I don't think there is anything wrong with you. A man who is passionate in his studies, treats women well, and is smart is VERY attractive in my book. Maybe you are trying to approach the women who just aren't looking right now?

PonyCar · Answer

Step 1: Start now.

I love these 1-step answers. :D

But seriously- strike up a conversation with lots of different crowds (esp @ places you like). If you and a girl click, then ask if she's perhaps like to go out sometime. I've done it, it's not hard.

AlwaysMIA · Answer

Im 18 , I'm not bad looking ( some people even call me hot lol , crazy people) only went out on one date with guy lol , turns out I'm too shy and I'm sending a weird " don't come near me I have walls vibe " , that's how a guy friend put it .

Maybe you're shy and haven't asked lots of ladies out yet ?... just maybe

Because you're cute and by the question ( not conceited or cocky or just a plain jerk )

So maybe we in the same boat lol

shumailkazimi · Answer

hey even I'm a virgin ...ur a talented person  but you maybe shy or you would have never gave much preference to that or you may never got the amount of time and space required for that...no worries its never too late...go out talk to girls and see what you can do best

danndan6 · Answer

you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. your problem is most likely nerves. 8 months ago I couldn't even ask a random girl for the time. now I'm progressing. face your fears and they will subside over time.

Jen91 · Answer

Don't worry about it.  The next time you see a girl that you want to ask out just walk up to her and introduce yourself. The situation can only get better so why not take the chance. I'm 21 and had my first boyfriend at 20 and it didn't last long. It's no big deal. I think it would be better to go out with someone who is a virgin, vs someone who sleeps around all the time.

Anonymous · Answer

Go out to bars. Dress well but not too over the top and not too fancy. Wear nice cologne but not too much. Smile often and fake being comfortable. If you have a female friend take her and have a fake break-up at the bar and you will get a woman if it is seen that you broke up with her at the bar

Anonymous · Answer

Next time you see a girl you like smile and ask her out, then you will be more confident in approaching girls? don't worry about rejection it doesn't devalue you as a person only makes you stronger, so bite the bullet and go for it! :D

-ananyme · Answer

Have you ever asked a girl out ? Cause that's most likely why

Yeahhbro · Answer

You tie a necktie around your neck...and then go out and meet new girls in social places :D

LizTheWeirdKid · Answer

have you tried approaching girls? not all girls like to approach guys. some are too shy.

moviedude714 · Answer

well, I'm in the same boat as you man, in my opinion I would say you are better looking than me

kiss-the-nerd · Answer

so? I'm a virgin,  I never been on a date, never really had a boyfriend... it just happens  don't be sad hun you need to wait for the right one :]

gettinthroughthepain · Answer

I know how you feel man I'm the same age. And iv never even kissed a girl. Did you miss out on all the parties in high school and afterward too?

Eddieguitar · Answer

All you have to do is make them laugh. But the bottom line is that you have to emotionally connect with them. Talk to me sometime if you need help!

Anonymous · Answer

i'm 22 and in the same boat, seeing questions like this make me really hate, despise, loathe the burden, chore, responsibility we guys have by having to initiate things

wildchild1 · Answer

Where are you from? I'd date you! ;)

Anonymous · Answer

Join the club I'm 26 and never had a Girlfriend never mind a date.

MyNameIsJonas · Answer

Dude I will just buy you a prostitute.

Anonymous · Answer

hate how we guys always have to initiate things

Anonymous · Answer

i haven't either ;(

What to do if you're 24 and have never dated?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said