Possible love triangle with 2 sisters. I need advice! Thanks!

[EMTorres1021]

Hello all, thank you for your time and responses.

Here is my long story short. I have these two female friends, who are sisters. One is my age (23), the younger one is almost 21. Even though neither of us really remember, apparently we all hung out a few times when were all kids, along with other mutual friends according to our families. So when they moved back to our hometown (Miami) from CA a few months ago, we all started catching up and going out in groups.

The older sister has feelings for me, but I see her as just a friend and that's where we kept it (I think she still likes me though). But I have a big thing for the younger sister. We get a long very well, I'm pretty sure there's a mutual attraction there, and we spoke about me visiting her while I'm in Boston this fall (that's where she'll be for college) and us hanging out together. I'm hopeful because I want a date 1-on-1 and not with anyone else.

What should I do? I understand I can't make anything formal about it now, it is a very delicate situation, so I'm planning on just continue flirting and make my attraction towards her more obvious with time. Any thoughts? Thanks!

[Anonymous]

It's not that big of a deal to me. You told her you just want to be friends. Yeah, she might get hurt, and might get upset with her sister for being with a guy that she likes but you openly turned her down. It is what it is and she can either leave it or take it, but she should have no business in your relationship with her sister. The only trouble you will get yourself in is her being jealous that her younger sister was able to be with you (assuming you guys do end up dating) and not her. She likes you, so her only reason for not wanting her sister to be with you is because she can't be with you. If she really likes you and is really a friend, then she should be happy with having you in her life, and should be happy with whomever you decide to date. Even if that person happens to be her sister. Since it's her sister, she should also be happy for her sister for finding a guy that she considers to be a good enough guy to date.

Look at it this way, at least you didn't date the 23 year old and she's now your ex who is still a friend and now you are trying to get with her younger sister...

[EMTorres1021]

Very well said. Let's hope it turns close to that. Thank you.

[HardAppleCider]

What the anon said.

Saying "I'm sorry I'm not interested" to person A shouldn't mean you automatically can't see person B just because A and B are related.

Those saying to wait don't understand that things like this tend to either happen fast or not at all. If the younger sister finds somebody else while you're waiting for the older sister to cool off (which is extremely likely to happen if she's attractive) you'll be kicking yourself. Snatch her up while you can.

[EMTorres1021]

Interesting point. I suppose I should try and find out if she is at least attracted to me or not...

[anthony87]

sorry to say this but uh.. if you just think there is mutual attraction and don't know it for sure, you are more likely reading into something that isn't there.. its your imagination not reality.

If there's room for doubt, the girl is not into you anyways.. because you aren't confident enough to be forward in the first place

[EMTorres1021]

The reason that I'm not forward enough in the first place is not because I;m not confident, it is because the older sister is a friend of mine and I can't just start macking it to the younger sister a month after I turned the older one down. That would be sh*tty on my part, I think..

[anthony87]

you still don't get it though, you believe both of these girls are into you and you're trying to portray to all these strangers that they are(even defensively). Your reading into something that is most likely not there.. if they were both into you and it wasn't your imagination(which it most likely is), they would be getting in fights with each other and trying to do VERY OBVIOUS THINGS to get with you. So many guys believe girls like them and they are really just reading into thin air.. if a girl l

[anthony87]

ikes you, she's going to do something like put her hand on your thigh, bring up sex, try to get alone with you and flirt with you in OBVIOUS ways... from the description of your "question" you obviously aren't getting any of that.. you just believe they both like you with no substantial evidence

[EMTorres1021]

You have a fair point. But with regards to your claim that I believe they like me with no substantial evidence, here is mine. 1) the reason I believe the older one likes me is because she actually told me that she had feelings for me...so I'm one for 2 so far. And 2) I have, in fact, had little instances like having a hand on my thigh as you put it, and flirtations with the younger one. I acknowledge the chance it may be in my head, absolutely, but I'm just going with the evidence I have. Thanks.

[anthony87]

ok, so if that is true and you are being entirely honest, I take back what I said. I only say my reasonable skepticism because its natural for anyone to read into things beyond what they are and your original question seemed to go along those lines. If both of these girls genuinely like you and you are more interested in one of them, just focus on that direction. You'll know how to gently gravitate towards the one you like if you are honest and forward to both of them.

[EMTorres1021]

I agree it's easy to get ahead of oneself. Thanks a lot. I appreciate the input.

[Prettygurl12]

As long as the older sister has not expressed these feelings to you personally you should be okay to go for the younger one. It's unethical still, sure, but you can just play the idiot role should she confront you about it and be like, "Oh, ____, I had no idea! Sorry,"

If however, the older sister has informed you of her feelings, you're going to mess things up pretty badly between the two sisters by asking the younger one out.

Other than that, your plan sounds good to me. Best of luck.

[EMTorres1021]

Thanks. My problem is that the older sister DID confront me about it, and we agreed that we'd stay friends. After that, the younger one and I continue to naturally get along well. Also, at a recent party where the younger one and I flirted and talked a lot, the older sister acknowledged it and her only concern from that was that "it made me even hotter"...?

[Prettygurl12]

Okay, 1: Who the heck is this grace person? And why is she creeping on my answer?

Two: Yeah, you're in a pickle there, now. I'd wait a few months at least before you ask the sister out. That way her feelings might fade a little, and yours and the younger one's might grow. But it is a difficult situation and timing in this case is important.

[EMTorres1021]

Yeah this "grace" is probably just spam. Already reported it. But thank you, whenever you go for the sibling of a friend it's always delicate. I anticipate this being a long situation, given enough time for everyone's friendships and feelings to grow, as you said.

[CrystalMinds]

What's the use of keeping flirting with her and making it more obvious? Ask her out on a date! Have a talk with her sister and tell her you feel something for her sister and if it's okay to go out, well, not ask her, just tell her that you wanna go out with the sister, because she might say she doesn't want it.

[kysalle]

GET OUT

[EMTorres1021]

Out of this situation you mean?

[kysalle]

yes