Can I turn a brother/sister relationship into a romantic one?

[Anonymous]

Okay boys I need some major help on this one, and I want to make the right decision. There's this guy *sigh, we have a brother and sister relationship, like a legit brother/sister relationship without technically being related. Our moms are best friends, he's friends with my brothers, he calls my dad the father he never had. About me and him we've known each other ever since I can remember, we were so close growing up. He's a bit older than me like 4 years, so he guided me through high school (his last year) my first year. We are literally like only blood seperated. He calls me little sis, we talk on the phone about my education e.t.c. He tells me he wants me to suceed in life blah blah, he asks me about my family, I ask him about school yada yada, he just finished med school and he's doing his interning and he's about to get his white coat. Anyways looooong story short... I have sort of developed feelings... ahhh... I don't know where they came from, like before when other girls would talk about him I'd be like ew he's like my brother but now it bothers me! In short my question is a) do I have a chance in hell? b) am I in danger of ruining our PG relationship c) is there anything I can do without being outright about abrupt about it d) will I creep him out? How do I go about this!? I DO NOT want to ruin this relationship, guys do any of you have this type of relationship and have you ever thought about the girl romantically, like even if its a best friend? I might have to add that he has never done anything or said anything to make me think he likes him, it is extremely platonic! Either that or I am C.L.U.E.L.E.S.S. and I have a question for girls too have you ever had this type of relationship and successfully turned it romantic? Everyone should I put the moves on him :O ahh I don't know what to do, I am now afraid of being alone with him and I'm afraid this feelings are TOTALLY onesided... Helpp and thanks for reading my novel :P

[Allygirl223]

Okay girl, I gotta say, that it pretty complicated. But I've SORTA had this kind of thing happen to me before, and now were almost succesfully dating. The only advice I can give you, is just buck up and come clean, I promise if he truly cares about you like you say he does, he won't just up and ditch you and your family for something like this, and if he does he's so not worth it. Just tell him how you feel but also tell him you don't want to ruin anything and that you hope things will work out in any way, that way, if he returns your feelings, you guys can sort things out, and if he doesn't you can continue the way things were. and forget it ever happend. the way you described it, it does kind of seem like he's a little interested in you, but hasn't said or done anything because of the age difference, and for all you know he is interested but he's just waiting for you,because he feels like if he makes a move it will ruin things because he's scared of you being scared of him, on the other hand he might just literally think of you as a sister. BUT you'll never ever know unless you just fess up, and I know it seriously sucks, but I promise it'll be worth it, as long as your willing to accept whatever outcome. oh! and don't start hitting on him or he'll think of it as a joke since your relationship is so close to brother/sister-ness. But I could be wrong with that last statement because it depends on the guy. whatever happends, I wish you good luck girl! and I hope this helps in any way :)

[Asker]

Thanks for replying, and congrats on your sorta relationship! ;) I am scared to death of coming clean! but you are right I have to ask myself how much I want this, and be prepared to accept the sort of outcome! I know if I hit on him he'll brush it off and think its a JOKE so I'm going to have to be more strategic than that, as for just telling him like it is... I AM A CHICKEN SHIT.. I dunno.. thanks for the advice doll I'll think about that ahhhhh lol

[Allygirl223]

No problem hun! thanks :) I know right? that's EXACTLY how I was before things starting taking a turn for the BETTER :) he actually rejected me 3 times, the 4th time he finally said he lied all those 3 times and actually does like me <_<. but exactly, if you want this, Then you have to just go for it, usually the guys that are the "brother type" that your close too, make a really good boyfriend in a relationship because they understand you.

[Asker]

i really hope my situation turns out like yours thanks alot!

[Allygirl223]

Awh Hun I'm sure everything will go okay! and if it doesn't then hey, it's not the end of the world. us girls are strong ;)! add me if you want so I can stay posted and help you if you if need be :)!

[Sam33r]

U are in a difficult situation, But don't worry things will work out.

First of all, go through dry phase, cut him off totally and see how much you miss him, it could be a phase kinda thing, may be he getting his white coat is trigging your buttons. So see by doing this feeling goes or not.

If you still have feelings, its means that you are really falling for him and you better do something abt it.

I would recommend take baby steps, first as you guys do normally talk. Ask him abt his love life, like if he has a girlfriend , if not why, tease him a little if you can. Secondly ask him for advise , tell him some cool/hot guy at your school are asking you out, whom should you pick and see his reaction. if he is showing no signs of liking you then do not put any move on him. You rather move on as it would just make the relation awkward.

But if he looks somewhat interested then tell us, would advise how to take it from there.

Good luck!

[Asker]

I was thinking about doing that, thing is we never talk about our love lives... well one time he told me about a girl that was interested in him, but that's rare, also I was also thinking about like I don't know dressing more sexier near him? lol I don't know what that will do but maybe he'll look at me differently what do you guys think about that? I'm gonna try flirting but no too much like flirting that you can take both ways just to see his reaction...i dunno..

[Asker]

but thanks for the advice I really do appreciate it and I'm taking all this in. I will definately update you guys.. lol... so nervous! cheers

[Sam33r]

What you are hoping for is something very different then what you have. So a little flirting would be a nice babystep toward it. Anyway dress nicely but make sure its not too trashy, keep it sassy but never let your dignity go.

Wishing you luck!

[Anonymous]

I've known my friend for three years also. I call her the same thing and I'm falling in love with her but she already has a boyfriend. I don't have the courage to tell her because she has him and I'm friends (sort of) with him. I wish you the best of luck...

[Asker]

thanks hun, I really do feel for you, if this guys gets a girlfriend I'll be crushed... as for you It's never too late remember that... hopefully they breakup (lol that's not nice of me) best of luck to you too :)

[Opinion Owner]

I pray he won't have a girlfriend because you deserve the best and he does seem like the best and a gentlemen of my degree. So sad guys in this time frame are all into hip-hop and becoming moguls that they do not focus on education or a moral and ethical attitude. He will come to have feelings for you and I hope my friend does with me. Thank you for your support :).

[Asker]

thanks hun

[yatta]

I've been there, my advice don't ruin a good thing, sounds like you got a great relationship with the guy now so don't do anything to screw it up. These kinds of relationships are the best, they're way better than a romantic relationship could ever be.

[Anonymous]

LOL when I just read the question I thought you were talking about something else... Yuck

[Anonymous]

Read Emma by Jane Austen. I'm not joking !