Girl I'm dating stopped using pet names... Does she NOT like me?

[Anonymous]

Ok ill try to keep this short...

I met a chick she is 22 and I'm 24 we're both mature for our ages and both decided to start hanging out to get to know each other better before we jump into anything serious...

Problem is I really like her now and she knows it as well but to her we still need to know each other better before we become boyfriend and GF...

I also don't know if I'm going too slow because we have gone out on 8 dates and we still don't hold hands or kiss because we are both shy but when I joke she usually lays her head on my shoulder and taps my hand or shoulder every time I joke around.

For a few days every time she would text me she would say things like "How's work babe?" or "hey baby how's your day" or "sunshine" "darling" etc... and last time she texted me "Good Night (my name)!"

Am I in trouble here? the problem with this girl is that she is pretty religious and I'm afraid of her religion (Christianity) somehow getting in the way.

~~P.S.~~ Her best friend is also my friend and her best friend gave me some insider info and told me last time they both went out to talk the girl I'm dating told her that she likes me and every time we go out she feels the need to hold my hand or kiss me but she always holds back.

Updates

+1 y

Forgot to add that for us to go out on 8-9 dates we have known each other for 3 months now and so far we text every single day and most of the time it's her who texts me first and sometimes I do... I just don't know if I'm stressing over nothing here but she is on my mind 24/7 now and little things that she does like not use a pet name or keep her text short makes me wonder if something is wrong or if I'm going to lose her

[Tamikaze]

Wow, this pretty much made we want to scream. For two people that are mature for your ages, this sounded like 2 junior high kids dating. Sorry.

1. Plenty of Christians have pre-marital sex and do all sorts of other things. We are Christians, not Christ. We are human, we are sinners, we make mistakes. That's life. Even Christians are subject to that.

2. Your dating sounds like a big old snoozefest. If you don't step in and push things along quicker, this is ready to fizzle out. She may think you two should know each other more to enter into a relationship but your feelings count too. Tell her what you feel. And start kissing her and holding hands. Your the guy, she obviously isn't going to pursue that with you, so if you don't initiate it, nothing will happen.

3. Again, your feelings count too and you are going the path of being too respectful, too careful. She is not going to chase you or initiate the first kiss, so if both of you are holding back, nothing will happen. If nothing happens, this will slowly die. As long as you are not a jerk and maul her with some sloppy kiss session, I doubt you will come off as pushy.

Good luck.

[Asker]

So I went on another date with her and we just talked again but on the way to the car I held her hand and she was OK with it... when I dropped her off at home we hugged and at the end of the hug I put my hands on her face and told her "I'm sorry I don't mean to pressure but I wouldn't forgive myself if I don't do this" and kissed her... she leaned in and kissed me back and when I got home she texted me saying "thanks for the kiss and dinner your so great!" but today she didn't text me at all..

[Asker]

She only texted me in the morning but nothing more... the thing I noticed is that after she texted me last night I kind of went off expressing my feelings to her and told her that I hope our feelings are mutual and she didn't say anything back... what I don't get is that it's obvious to all my family and friends that she likes me but every time I tell her she won't say it back... but she does taps my leg/hand/shoulder when we go out and leans her head on my shoulder and even kissed me...

[Asker]

So my question is what's my next move? should I kiss her every time from now on even when I pick her up? or just at the end of the date? also why is she holding back on telling me she likes me even tho she has told me that there is physical attraction towards me?

[Tamikaze]

Honestly, you are being too passive and acting like the woman. Your the man,don't ever apologize for kissing a girl. I realize it sounds like a great line, but it isn't. Do not mistake my advice for thinking you need to be a jerk or act like some sort of made-for-TV brute. There is no need to be the exact opposite, but you need to be more assertive. Your actions show a lack of confidence in what this girl feels for you. You are non-verbally telling her you are unsure.

[Tamikaze]

Really internalize a solid belief that this girl likes you. Believe it. Then your actions will follow your belief. Girl's that like you WANT to hold your hand and WANT to be kissed. They don't want to hear you go on in a text message about how you feel. They want you to show it in person. Less chitty chat, more confidence around how she feels. Oh, and stop expecting her to pursue with texts and such. Girls are taught that it is desperate for a girl to pursue. Recognize that.

[Asker]

So I asked her straight up and told her in a text that I felt she was being distant and not interested anymore and this was her reply...

"From the start you knew I didn't wanted a relationship just yet I was very happy that we were getting to know each other... The kiss didn't scare me away but it did showed me that you liked me more than I thought.. my natural instinct was to just back off a little I just want you to know that you didn't hurt me or do anything wrong I just don't feel ready...

[Asker]

for a relationship and with the kiss you showed me that if we kept going out a lot you were going to fall in love and I don't want to hurt you. I'm just not at that place yet and I feel that before a kiss there has to be more of a friendship and we've gone out ONLY 10 times. I did have some feeling for you but like I've told you that I've gotten my heart broken in the past I am pretty hard to fall in love with anyone. Your not a bad guy and I loved the way you treated me and spoiled me BUT...

[Asker]

because I care for you I'm slowing things down alot... I don't want to be fckd up and lead you on and once your in love tell you that I like you a lot but I'm not feeling this and tell you goodbye because that would be wrong. You can have my friendship and hopefully you can still offer me yours knowing that for a long while I don't want a relationship or anything like that AND IT'S NOT BECAUSE OF YOU Because you would make a great Boyfriend but BECAUSE OF ME I just want to do things right when I

[Asker]

I'm ready for it."

To me it seems like it's time to move on... she stopped texting me but I found out through her mom since our mother's are good friends that she is NOT seeing anyone else...

I still can't stop thinking about her but she completely stopped texting me since 5 days ago... and we haven't gone out in 2 weeks now...

What should I do? pursue her? text her first? or wait for her to text me?

Are my chances with her over?

[Tamikaze]

Move on. She is fooling herself and in the process she is taking you down with her. 10 dates is plenty of time for 2 people to know each other well enough to go deeper into romance. This girl is not ready or not feeling it. It's not cool to have a guy take you out this much and continue to accept the dates, all the while knowing that nothing is changing in your heart towards him.

[Anonymous]

Whenever she calls you these pet names, do you respond with using a pet name back?

If you don't, that could very well be why she stopped.

Sometimes I call my boyfriend his name because... well... its his name! There's no other reason behind it. But usually we call each other babe. It's okay to use someone's first name when addressing them, especially when you are dating, its completely normal.

To me it seems like you really like her but are looking for an excuse that this might not be real. Well, guess what? It is real, she likes you and you like her. Don't let insignificant things get in the way..

Now... if she said , "Good night John" (and John is not your name) then I would think she doesn't like you :P

[Asker]

Everytime she used a pet name I always say one back even when she doesn't like last night I responded with "good night to you too princess" and today in the morning sent her a text saying "good morning darling how are you feeling" (since she is currently with a cold) I'm not looking for an excuse I'm actually hoping it's real because I feel that I'm falling in love with her and I hope she is falling for me as well.. should I just relax and not freak out and let things play out? girl advice plz

[Opinion Owner]

Yes, you need to relax. The world is not ending, you are just falling for someone. I know you might feel vulnerable and all those other feelings that come with when you first start realizing you are falling for someone. But you need to keep your cool. Don't overplay the pet names just do you will hear her say it back. I think you are thinking too much into it. All that matters is that you guys communicate often and see each other and get to know each other as much as you guys can. breathe:)

[Anonymous]

Because she used your name instead of a pet name? No way, man. It's another type of endearment. I tend to say use the name of my boyfriend whenever I say goodnight to him. It's less lovedovy and more passionate on my part. It means I love them in a very serious way too.

[Asker]

Thanks for your comment it's just that she always made me feel unique and special when she would say things like babe sunshine sweetie etc.. and when she used my name I freaked out a little... I really don't want to mess things up with her so I'm always hoping that I'm doing things right with her by being a gentleman and taking things slow but sometimes I wonder if I might be going too slow? what's your opinion?

[Tamikaze]

QA, your worrying about your every move, not wanting to mess things up, and taking things this slow, it comes off as not that interested. You can be a gentleman AND initiate kisses and hold hands. My husband was a gentleman when we dated but it was also quite clear he was a man who was sexually attracted to me and I don't think most women hold it against a guy that he desires us as long as you are not pushing for sex or obsessed with it.

[Opinion Owner]

I agree with Tamikaze ^U^

[Asker]

I would appreciate if you can give me your opinion on my recent 3 comments I wrote to Tamikaze.. thx :)

[Opinion Owner]

Okay, I've read them now. Um, I think you should ask her why she doesn't respond. She might be uncertain how she feels about you or she might be hesitant to admit her feelings. Reassure her if you can that you understand if she's hesitant or unsure. But communication is key to any relationship. You need to be open with her about your feelings, and her with you. I am so happy you kissed her and she kissed you back! Congrats! I don't think you necessarily need to do it every time.

[Opinion Owner]

Sometimes the moment just feels right and you want to kiss her or she you, and you can kiss, but doing it like a daily regimen kind of takes away from the romance, don't you think? As for holding hands, feel free to do that as often as you like. Some couples hold hands from the moment they see each other to the moment they leave. I've yet to hear of a partner complaining that their SO tries to hold their hand too much.