How Often Should You Talk To Your Boyfriend?

[PhilaPenn]

I hate talking on the phone, always have. I prefer to text. Even with texting, I dislike having long drawn out conversations if the topic isn't really important. I'm dating really cool woman now, I definitely like her but I'll still only text maybe twice aweek, usually go out and do something once a week. I think that's fine, but in the past girls have sometimes said that they would have liked to talk more . They said I seemed a little distant, and were even uneasy about where they stood with me (not in relationship status) but how much I was into them. So my questio to the ladies is: what's the minimum contact you would desire to have with a guy you are dating but isn't your boyfriend?

[kholland65]

Basically your a typical guy man. I'm the same way. Hate talking on the phone, Hate texting. Completely impersonal, and it just takes away from time I should be using to do something productive. I don't feel the need to give a girl a play by play of my life via text, just so she feels like I'm involved. When we get together in person, I'm more than happy to tell you what my day was like, but not over text.

Girls just don't get this because women bond through communication. There are literally chemicals released in the brain of a women when she has deep communication with someone, which causes her to feel a sense of attachment. The male equivalent is close physical proximity or touch.

This is one of those areas where both genders need to realize that they are born different, and as a result need to compromise. Instead, as typically the case, the women wins the game of chicken and guilts you into doing things her way. In this case, making you text/call her often enough, even if your rather not to.

I actually broke up with a girl for this very reason. She wanted constant contact, but I just didn't have anything important to say. It also doesn't help I have an intellectual like personality so I prefer intellectual conversations or small talk. All the more reason I don't like texting. This girl would complain every other day that I didn't care about her because I wasn't texting her enough. "ARE YOU SERIOUS!".

Girls do us all a favor and stop gauging your relationships health by using your phone. I hate to break it to you but that fancy smart phone does not have app for that. The real indicator should be how much time he wants to spend with you.

It depends on the people and their schedules but I would say most women require you to contact them at least once a day, which in my opinion is a bit much. If we're both busy and not going to see each other, and we also don't have anything important that needs discussion. Then I don't see the need to check in with each other. We'll just talk the next time we see each other, which will likely be in a day or two. So average once a day, but you could probably get away with 4-5x a week if she's a bit more understand and she's a busy person.

[PhilaPenn]

Great comment. I'm the same way. Definately more of an intellectual. When I text or call a girl it's for a reason. I hate small talk or when I get texts about nothing particular. I like the idea of compromise, I can go outside of muncomfortnzone with it. But I think talking in the phone twice a day in addition to texting is over the top.

[kholland65]

Exactly, I don't feel the need to texting to tell about the goofy cat photo I just saw on the internet, nor do I consider texting a fun activity to pass the time when I'm bored. I'll find something productive to do. But I'm open to compromise. I had a Girlfriend once that had typical text/call habits. I told her how I felt about it. She still texted or called from time to time, but only when it was important, like if she had a ruff day, a fight with her parents, etc. I would talk with her briefly to

[kholland65]

cheer her up, then I would tell her I had to go so I could get back to what I was doing and she respected that. She also knew that if it wasn't important, it was best just not to bother me. She could just tell me when we saw each other next which wasn't an eternity. It was most likely at most, the next day.

The problem is for women, its about competition to their female peers. They want to see who's Boyfriend cares about them more, and they gauge that by the amount of texts they get per day.

[carmelc003]

Reading your comment has really open my eyes to a different perspective. I would feel the same way that if a guy doesn't text me a lot then I'm not on his mind. But now I'm starting to see that it's ok to go a day or two with out hearing from him. You're right it's about how much time he spends with you and that he makes a effort to contact you. It may not be 5 times a day but as long as he contacts you frequently and spends quality time with you then that's all that matters. I also think its interesting that you basically said men bond through touch? So a man would rather touch you to show you that he cares and misses you than to talk? I know not all the time but are you saying most of the time it is this way? And also when you say touch, do you mean sexual touching that leads to sex or just cuddling? lol Sorry, I just get fascinated with certain topics =)

[kholland65]

Yes carmelc003, endorphines released in males during physical touch and proximity. In women the same reaction occurs during deep conversation. I'm not saying that men don't enjoy deep conversations and women don't enjoy touch. But those things fill a special need for both genders to feel close and intimate towards there partner. Aka an emotional attachment. For guys this includes all levels of touch, from hand holding, to sex, and everything else inbetween. This is why guys who are crushing on a girl will subconsciously always try and be near the girl (same room, sitting next to her, standing near her, etc.). I think you have the idea. It's just a different way of communicating. Neither gender is wrong, but given that both genders need to learn to compromise and be understanding of the others needs. Finally, I just think as an adult, you have better things to be doing that texting all day, and you really get busy. You need to be able to go a few days without contact from your SO.

[TheSpaceGnome]

When I'm dating a woman, I like the ones who want my attention 24/7.

Whether thats talking, cuddling, sex, video games, binging anime, making creative projects, or whatever else I like doing, I enjoy her company, because I only date women who share my hobbies, so I never have to stop doing things I like to have her around.

I'm mentioning this to point out that, just like how I'm very different from you, women are also different from eachother, so there is no answer to your question.

[vmw2008]

This is just me personally because I've encountered this problem before, I would not be OK with twice a week contact unless I planned on keeping the guy in the "casually dating" category. That's fine for someone to go out and play with once in a while, but it wouldn't be enough for me to consider a real relationship, feel comfortable with where I stood, etc. I understand that you're not in a relationship with these girls so you're within your right to play it however you want, but I like consistent contact and it would be something that would keep me from getting more serious with a guy.

I actually had an experience with a guy like this once and I just assumed from his minimal contact that he wasn't very interested, or was seeing other girls. The lack of contact that I needed also kept me from developing strong/more serious feelings as well. When I got into a relationship with someone else, he was really mad at me and said that he had liked me a lot and planned on inviting me to his military ball in a few weeks. I was speechless because I had no clue, I just figured we were casually having fun hanging out every once in a while.

So I guess that was my long drawn out way of saying, for me to feel comfortable and consider a relationship with a guy, I need contact on most days, even if it's just "hello."

[PhilaPenn]

Really? Like every day? I thought that I make plans to hang out at least once a week would show that I like her. I wouldn't go like 10 days without talking to her. I ve only known her for about a month month and a half. So it's still really early. But I figured I should ask some women, since I've seen some girls on here kind of freak out if they feel like a guy they like doesn't contact them enough. Thanks for answering.

[kholland65]

"I actually had an experience with a guy like this once and I just assumed from his minimal contact that he wasn't very interested, or was seeing other girls" This is your key problem that many women make. Women don't understand that men are not communicators, its not how we bond. Our lack of communication has nothing to do with a lack of interest in you, it has to do with our lack of interest in talking.

[vmw2008]

This does not really matter to me for 2 reasons. One, like I stated before, I am not interested in men that have a lack of interest in communication with me. There are more men than you think who like to communicate a lot more, so the guys who don't just aren't a good match for my needs. Second, I have watched guys transform from "bad communicators" to "good communicators" when they really decided they were interested. While it may be true for some men that their lack of communication is simply

[vmw2008]

their nature, for the majority, it's because they're not that interested and other women are around. Most men desire more communication when they're really set on a girl. (Not all, but most from MY experience). So either way, whether the reason is the former or the latter, I would not be interested in that type of man, so whether he is seeing other women or not isn't really the issue.

[vmw2008]

The guy I am currently in a relationship with used to say that he was a bad texter and phone talker, to the point where I was losing interest. Once he decided he was in love with me, suddenly he's texting me all day and calling me twice a day. And we've been together for 2 years! I need a good communicator, end of story for me, and most men I've encoutnered have been able to provide this.

[PhilaPenn]

Interesting points. Definitely food for thought. I think the whole talking twice a day on the phone is a little over the top though. Especially in addition to texting. Once I get to know a girl well then we could text more. For instance I see something she's interested in while I'm out I might text a picture or share a joke. But I think that naturally I'm a more independent guy, and the kind of work I do requires some solitude. Maybe it varies. 4 days a week? That's more than half.

[vmw2008]

I don't expect texts plus 2 calls a day, that's just what it's turned into as our relationship grew serious. But for very early stages, I guess every other day is cool. If he wants it to grow into something more though, a committed relationship, it's every day for me. This seems to be pretty OK and normal for any guy that actually wanted a relationship with me. The only exception was the guy I talked about above.

[vmw2008]

It's also possible you just need a girl that doesn't want to talk to you as much. Judging by the responses you've gotten from most women though (and why you asked the question) it might help to step it up a notch so that you're not pushing them all away.

[PhilaPenn]

Yeah I was thinking that.

[Primrose]

texting once a day. I mean its nice o know we are thought of.

if he doesn't text me or contact me in two weeks that's my interpretation of a silent "fk you"

you can build a relationship on talking. girls love it when guys pay attention to detail and you can learn little things through the phone

[PhilaPenn]

Thanks for commenting. I'm glad I found this site because I would have continued to think that contact twice a week cool lol

[Primrose]

girls love when you do big surprises but what really snags her is when you show up with little things. Her favorite fruits, juice, or something you saw that reminds you of her or of a conversation you two had. It's a bit tedious but I'm sure the girl will mirror your sweet actions.

[nermalinda]

If he's not talking to me at least a few times a week, I would feel like he wasn't very interested.

[PhilaPenn]

Yeah I agree. I'll check in with texts one or two days a week. We'll make plans to do something later in the week. That's like 3 days right there.

[AI Opinion]

Should couples talk every day?

Whether you and your partner are busy with work or taking care of kids, it’s important to have regular check-ins throughout the day. This doesn’t mean you have to have a long, drawn-out conversation every day, but you should at least touch base with each other to see how the day is going.

There are a few benefits to talking with your partner every day:

• First, it can help you stay connected and on the same page. If you’re not talking, it’s easy to start feeling like you’re in a relationship with two different people. You and your partner may have different priorities and goals, and without regular communication, it can be hard to stay aligned.
• Regular check-ins can also help prevent misunderstandings and miscommunications. If you’re not talking, it’s easy to make assumptions about what the other person is thinking or feeling, and those assumptions are often wrong. If you are talking, you can clear up any misunderstandings before they turn into big problems.
• Finally, talking with your partner every day can help you feel supported and connected. We all need to feel like we’re part of a team, and when you’re in a relationship, your partner should be your biggest supporter. If you’re not talking, it’s easy to feel like you’re going through life alone.

So, should couples talk every day?

There’s no hard and fast rule, but regular communication is important. Whether you’re talking about your day, your goals, or your feelings, regular check-ins can help keep you and your partner on the same page and feeling connected.

How often should you talk when you first start dating?

You've probably heard the old saying, "Slow and steady wins the race." When it comes to communication in relationships, this adage definitely applies. When you first start dating someone, it's important to keep the lines of communication open, but you don't want to overwhelm your new partner with constant chatter.

So, how often should you talk when you first start dating?

The answer, of course, is that it depends. Every relationship is different, and the frequency of communication will vary depending on the needs of the individuals involved.

That said, there are a few general guidelines that can help you gauge how often you should talk to your new partner:

• First, it's important to remember that communication is about quality, not quantity. It's better to have fewer, deeper conversations than to fill up every moment of silence with small talk. When you first start dating, you should aim for quality over quantity.
• Second, you should try to match the communication style of your partner. If they're the type of person who likes to text all day, then you should text more often. If they're more of a phone person, then you should call more often. And if they're the type of person who likes face-to-face conversation, then you should plan more dates.
• Third, you should give yourself some time to adjust to the new relationship. If you've just come out of a long-term relationship, you might need some time to yourself before you're ready to start communicating more frequently with someone new. On the other hand, if you're used to being single, you might want to jump into things and start talking to your new partner more often.
• Ultimately, the best way to gauge how often you should talk to your new partner is to listen to your gut. If you feel like you're ready to talk more often, then go for it. If you need some space, that's OK too.

As long as you're honest with yourself and your partner, you'll figure out the right communication style for your new relationship.

How often should you text a guy?

Texting is a great way to stay in touch with a guy and keep the lines of communication open, but it can also be a bit of a minefield.

How often should you text a guy? Is there a rule?

Here's the thing: there are no hard and fast rules when it comes to texting. It depends on the relationship you have with the guy, and also on your own personal style.

That said, there are a few general guidelines that can help you figure out how often to text a guy:

• If you're just getting to know each other, you'll probably want to text him more often than you would if you've been dating for a while. This is because texting is a great way to get to know someone and build up a rapport.
• If you're in a long-term relationship, you'll probably find that you don't need to text as much as you did in the early stages. This is because you already know each other well and have established a strong connection.
• Of course, there are always exceptions to the rule. If you're worried about a guy losing interest, you might want to text him more often. Or if you're planning to see each other soon, you might want to send a few more texts to keep the anticipation levels high.

At the end of the day, the best way to figure out how often to text a guy is to use your own judgement. Trust your gut and go with your instinct.

[CA4444]

Hard to say, probably a good thing to discuss openly… I am quite curious of how men see this cause I am struggling myself sometimes. I feel hurt if a guys says he is interested and then ignores me. If he only comes back when he’s horny then I may think he’s only using me. I’ve learned about ‘attachements styles’ (basically secure, needy or distant) recently it’s quite helpful I think… but yeah women can be needy and I agree it’s not so good but we are wired this way just like men need more sex sometimes. Must be some primal thing to ‘keep’ the man to make a baby or smth, nice isn’t it 😄

[Kaydee]

I would think once a day is OK as long as she is not the one initiating all the contact. Do you like the girl you are dating or is it really just a sexual relationship for you? I would think if you are truly interested in her (for more then sex) then you would want to hear from her daily.

[PhilaPenn]

Thanks for answering. We just started dating like 5 weeks ago. I have weird hours, I'll work 9-5p then I paint in the evenings, and recording on weekends. So it's not like I'm dating 10 others. At least with painting it's a very personal process. I need solitude for that. So I'm in a certain mental space where I don't really wanna talk. But it's not because I see her as an object. I'm just not the type to smother a girl, because I don't like that. She has her own life too. Maybe middle ground?

[Bethany22]

The amount you mention sounds like a reasonable amount. I actually just posted a question asking a similar thing. My boyfriend and I Skype for 10 minutes once a week, as I now live in another city, and I wonder if that means we're just friends now.

[Nikki1989]

How can anyone prefer text to talking to someone?

[asianfreak]

At least 3-4 times weekly.

[PhilaPenn]

That's more along the line of what I was thinking, but the ladies seem to think its not enough.

[asianfreak]

yeah some women think that isn't enough.

[Anonymous]

when they love you they can never get enough of you

[TacosRAwesome]

Few texts here and there during the day.

[CA4444]

This thread is actually so old how did we end up here 😂