How to make your boyfriend initiate making out

So my boyfriend and I have been going out for about 7 months now long distance so we don't see each other everyday only about once every two weeks or soon its going to be once or twice a week. Whenever we do see each other we eventually at the end of the night watch a movie and eventually it leads to making out but the problems is is that it feels awkward because we kinda are cuddling and then eventually I just turn my head to him and we start kissing and it leads to more and more, the problem thought is that I'm always the one turning my head and it starts and even that seems awkward for me all the time because it also puts pressure on me when do I start or initiate it. I always can tell that he wants to make out with me because he starts moving his lips and stuff which is kinda strange but anyway I would like it for him to initiate it and make it not as awkward that all of a sudden we just start kissing. Its weird too that it always occurs whenever were watching a movie, how do I fix that problem as well that we can make out with each other without having to watch a movie. I feel awkward just saying do you want to make out like I know some couples do I want it to just kinda happen but in a romantic sort of way I guess Idk. Also, I know that you might say don't initiate anything and see what happens that he then might go for it, but based off of my experience and of his personality I don't think it would work I think he would just think something is wrong with me and I don't feel like it or something even though I do. Also, even if I do have this plan in mind I don't think it will work because I might just want to make out already and I just won't be able to resist lol. Please give me some advice.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Certain disreputable portions of the feminist movement outside the equality-crew (ie., "good feminists") that have repeatedly told men that they treat women like sex objects and that all male sexuality is wrong and all advancement on women is either a precursor to rape or 'exploiting' them.

    I can see the down votes already. Well, its my answer so I'm stickin' to it. :)

    In any case, being caught in the crossfire of this powerful message long enough or from influential people in a boy's life can have massive psychological damage when he is older. Out of his love and admiration for you, he may think he is doing you a service by refraining from initiating and counting it as a good thing, because his psyche is paralyzed by the fear of acting on feelings = objectifying you, abusing you, etc...

    I think this is more common in the United States than in Europe where everyone is more open about sexuality, and this kind of message is more likely to be heard in high-populated liberal regions (as opposed to the South, for example, although theoretically someone could be influenced from it anywhere).

    So how do you make him initiate? I'll answer that. Rather than asking him to initiate or put preassure on him to do more (that will probably make it worse), try to get him on your therapist couch and to start talking. Ask him about his views about sexuality in general, and what he thinks about various hypothetical questions. If he wants to know why you are wondering, just say you think its fun to get to know him more. You might be able to figure out why he doesn't initiate.

    To advise you on the matter of how to makeout spontaneously without "bringing it up", you can actually go back to basics: flirting. Its just a subtle variation of it. Its something of an artform to tease and not sound corny, but it can be done.

    • Wow that actually makes a lot of sense that probably is what he is afraid of. Thank you for the great advice.

    • Your welcome. Let me know what you find out, whether or not this answer applied to him.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • You should just always turn your head but don't say anything or lean in. Let him come to you.

    Over time, he'll be the one initiating everything.


What Girls Said 1

  • I don't see the problem. you initiate and you get what you want.

    you can't make someone initiate. if he's receptive and you get what you wan, that should be good enough.

    otherwise talk to him about it. he's your boyfriend if you can't discuss honestly, it what the hell is the pint of being in a relationship.

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