To all the guys who whine that hot girls only date hot guys...

[harveykinkle]

Why shouldn't they?

If you were in the position to choose a hot girl or an ugly one would you choose the ugly one?

Also, chances are, you only like this girl because of her looks. Why should she choose you based on that?

[fairtrade]

I agree, except as to " chances are, you only like this girl because of her looks."

To be more accurate, "chances are" a guy "only prefers" her because of her looks. That is to say, all else equal (personality, finances, intelligence, etc.), a hot woman is preferable to an average or unattractive woman. Yet, that's NOT to say that a man is interested in a woman that's hot ONLY because she's hot.

Yes, that's a frustrating reality for women to deal with. Ideally, women would like to point to a super hot, uneducated, broke, aspiration-less, passionless, untalented, woman with no sex drive and full-blown manic bipolar, anti-social personality, and narcissistic personality disorder and say, "aha! You see, it's true! Men ONLY CARE ABOUT LOOKS!"

Unfortunately, that's not the case. No degree of beautiful can make up for being a complete b*tch.

Now, back to your primary thesis.

I completely agree. For some reason, people in America feel this sense of entitlement. "I'm entitled to the perfect man." "I'm entitled to a super-hot model/stripper girlfriend who's clit is located in the back of her tongue."

The truth is, we all live in a marketplace. We are sellers of ourselves, and buyers of others. Our purchasing power is determined by how much currency we have to offer. The more value we have to exchange, the more value we can receive. A seller of a Ferrari won't be willing to "give you a deal" just because you "really want" or "feel you deserve" a Ferrari. The seller wants $285,000. You have that? The Ferrari is yours. Don't have that? You have to start coping with life and learning how to enjoy living with a Honda.

The dynamic is not purely a male problem, which is what I think the QA was trying to highlight. Women face the same problem. A young hot and sexy woman with a high sex drive, who is sweet, caring, honest, uninhibited, and intellectually intelligent is able to trade herself in return for a man "literally" worth $1,556,283 (in present value terms). An older, ugly and unattractive woman with a low sex drive, who is manipulative, sneaky, controlling, selfish, self-centered, inhibited, and only "emotionally" intelligent is able to trade herself in return for a man worth only $657,097 (in present value terms).

Nobody can "rightfully" blame or be mad at the buyer for not being an idiot who is willing to GIVE MORE in return for GETTING LESS. Assuming a fair trade, the only person that's left to blame for not being with the person you want is the "seller," either because (1) the seller has unrealistically high expectations, or because (2) the seller simply doesn't have enough value that he's putting into the deal in order to make sense for the other side to be interesting in giving what they have to offer in return for what the buyer has to offer.

[Hamburgers]

Absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Like a ladies man, why should he settle or remain faithful with one girl? When he can sleep with many?

It's like having super powers and being told not to use them. Get that hot guy, use your super powers.

[DanteX160]

This is an awesome way of putting it. Thank you Mackers!

[Hamburgers]

You're most welcome.

[Hamburgers]

Well thank you for BA

[loveisbeautiful]

I don't agree with this at all, maybe I misunderstand the question.

But, if I'm correct, what you're saying is that attractive people should

only date attractive people? And, that no unattractive person should

hold out hope of dating someone they're attracted to, especially if they're

quote "hot", is that what you're saying?

I hope not, because people are allowed to be attracted to and or date

whoever they want! And, this whole only dating in your "league" thing

is SO stupid! I know must people hate celebrities, but hollywood is the

place of the rich and the vain! So, tell me why was Katy Perry married to

Russell Brand? Those two couldn't be more different in looks or personality

if they tried! What about Beth Stern, Howard Stern's wife? She's a (I think a ex)

model who's attractive and he's the guy with the potty mouth who wears sunglasses

indoors lol. But, yet somehow they made a love connection. My point is, in the one

place where things like attractness and "leagues" matter. Is usually the one place

where you look at a couple and think "how'd they get togther?". You know how, because

they had a connection and connection is what matters. I could say more, but I think

made my point. It's not about "hot dating hot" or "nerd dating nerd", it's just about

the chemistry,compatibilty and connection! And, you can have any and or ALL of those

things, with ANYONE! Just how I feel.

[Anonymous]

They aren't in the girl's position so they think they can assume whatever they want.You are right about this.Hot girls have the right to demand a hot guy.She works hard for it.Everyone isn't just beautiful for no reasons.They put effort to look good.As for me I know my scale.I never demand someone who is outside my league unless if he is the one who start to approach me.That's a different story.Those whiners are just selfish who want to be accepted but they don't even want to accept themselves.If they do why don't they date someone who is in their league?

[harveykinkle]

I know! I think it's so ridiculous that they are going after the girl only for her looks but can't comprehend that she can't choose not to date him because of his!

[Shoneghosts]

Idk I just work out a little bit and I'm at the very least an 8.. that's hardly any work.. its all just genetics, usually no work involved. We do live in a shallow society/world however, and I'm just as guilty as anyone.

[harveykinkle]

Exactly - you worked for it so don't you expect someone who also works for it?

[DarkSamus]

Doesn't it just mean that your dating pool is larger since you are able to get a good looking guy? Maybe you will find that the "hot" guys aren't exactly the type your really looking for.

[JohnBelluci]

Because historically women have chosen men for how USEFUL they are. How much they have achieved in life. Men are defined by their JOB in society.

This is why money, intelligence and status, in a guy, is so important to so many women.

Men have always been working their ass off because their job was their identity.

If they were working hard and were succesful, they would be rewarded by the love of a good looking woman. Whether she was smart or successful or not was irrelevant for men.

(it's easy to check because most billionaires have a hot wife even though they are old and ugly)

Women on the other side, have always been praised for their appearance mainly in society. People will ALWAYS judge a female's appareance no matter the context and no matter her job. It doesn't matter if she is a billionaire and owns a huge company. She is a woman, and men will judge her on her looks mainly.

Their role was not to work hard and have a useful job, back in the days. Their role was to give birth and be a good mother.

A good looking wife would give birth to good looking kids, while the father would be able to provide for the family because he was a hard worker and great achiever.

-------------

Conclusion:

Historically,

- Men were expected to BE SUCCESSFUL = USEFUL and were rewarded as such by women (remember the billionaires...)

- Women are asked to be beautiful and be good mothers, and are rewarded as such by men.

They ARE EXPECTED to be good looking. That's why we have always chosen you based on THAT.

That's why women who are MAINLY concerned about a guys physical appearance, are looked down upon by men AND other women.

[harveykinkle]

So we can't come after you guys for you looks OR money?! :P

[JohnBelluci]

there is a difference between a gold digger, and a woman who aknowledge and is attracted by a man's achievement.

Gold diggers have no feelings and are interested in his money to spend it.

A normal woman is only attracted by the achievment but doesn't marry because she wants to spend his money. She can if she wants to, but it's his determination and ability to succeed in life that seduced her. She fell for the Man, not the wallet...

[kia58]

You make one basic mistake.

Money is not as important display of power to women as you think. It's not as attractive as you think. In fact it's not attractive at all. Money is like clothes. If a woman is attracted to a smart scientist wearing a coat and she would run from him if he were naked, it does not mean she is turned on by the coat. This misconception is the very source of the "useful" guy's bitterness.

[JohnBelluci]

"Money is not as important display of power to women as you think - In fact it's not attractive at all"

---> It is whether you like it or not. It's not "just my opinion". I could care less about individual's opinion. They are worth nothing. What matters are studies.

And the fact that females select males based on their ability to accumulate wealth has been PROVEN OVER AND OVER through the years by sociology, psychology and behavioral biology studies.

Read and Learn. Don't just talk sh*t.

[Hamburgers]

How is this even disputable? lol

[JohnBelluci]

I know :-/

[kereru]

yes HISTORICALLY this was true, but times have changed my friend, so everything you just said bares absolutely no weight except as an example of how stupid and illogical it would be to continue judging men and women based on now completely irrelevant historical standards.

[JohnBelluci]

It hasn't changed.

Women are still attracted by success - Men are still attracted by women's beauty...

But since the traditional model was attacked and distorded for political reasons, people who don't have the sufficient knowledge find hard to know where they stand and why they do what they do anymore.

It's because of this confusion, that we have such high percentage of single people - broken marriage - single parent family - people refusing to have kids - and other source of social chaos...

[kia58]

I'm not just talking random sh*t. I know what studies show and I understand how money represents power therefore it adds to a man's attraction. But his behavior and his ability to exercise power in every area of life is what is attractive. Granted forms of power attract some women more, others other.

But having power does not mean spending money. Guys get hung up on money and fail to actually become attractive.

It's not just "opinion", it's my understanding of what is attractive to girls.

[kereru]

well, clearly things have changed or the QA wouldn't be asking the question, choosing based on looks alone is shallow, but it's not worse for one gender than the other, you're trying to convince everyone that women choosing based on looks is worse based on historical motives for matrimony that no longer apply to our society,

[kereru]

Now that things are different and more equal, women make their own money now and can be successful billionaires in their own right, just like men, so they can afford to marry for beauty if they so wish, just like men. there's not difference, there might be historical differences but those differences no longer apply.

[kia58]

kereru, laws of attraction clearly show those differences still apply.

You're free to bury your head in the sand and talk about what women "can" do, but everyone will tell you what women actually do. And marrying a man for his beauty, or aiming to become CEOs are rarely, if ever, one of those things.

[kereru]

, I'm just pointing out that women ARE attracted by looks, THAt is the reality of the situation otherwise this question wouldn't be "to all the guys who whine that girls only date hot guys"

i don't see how you can deny this.

[kia58]

Looks do come into play, but not the least bit as much as power. And if power is present, they don't have to play a part at all.

When power is not there and guys are pussified thinking that's all we really care about aside from their money, then girls do go around choosing guys based on looks. They have no choice.

While to men a good looking girl is hot. Period.

We're not the same.

[kereru]

your whole argument seems to be that it's wrong for women to be attracted by looks and OK for men, because that's the stereotype and that's how it's always been, but so what? that's not a valid reason why it's more shallow or wrong to be attracted by looks, your basically just saying "this is the way it's always been so you're not allowed to do anything else."

[kereru]

why are men "p******" for being judged by looks but women are what...awesome? that's all we should aspire to in the world is being eye candy?

[kereru]

yes, lots of women are still attracted to power, BUT only historically did it always make good sense to do this, because women depended on men for everything. fast forward to 2013 where being attracted to power and wealth is no longer necessary or an obligation for women in order to live a good life,

therefore, there's no reason why women should be looked down on more than men for going for looks,

[kia58]

My argument is not what women should aspire to be, it's about what women are.

My argument is not that something is wrong or right for women, it's that it is common, or uncommon.

My argument is not about what is necessary for women, it's about what women want regardless of ability, or necessity.

[harveykinkle]

I agree! Traditional male/female roles no longer exist. Women used to NEED a man for financial stability and that's how marriage originated. Thus they seeked money/power and looks didn't really matter. These days most households require a dual income or both spouses work and the wife no longer needs to rely on a husband for money/power/property and sometimes she's the "breadwinner" so why should she not seek the most attractive partner including seeking looks?

A lot of men seem entitled...

[kia58]

The same reason men look at beauty beyond smarts. The same reason they are attracted to gentleness and fragility above strength and toughness. A woman may be able to do something, but if that very thing does not go along with human evolution, she still suffers. Not to mention sometimes she IS less capable.

What you fail to understand is that a woman CAN do anything. But what she CAN do and what she wants to do are not one and the same. Biology didn't change, so it doesn't matter.

[Anonymous]

if the hot guy is low class, has no values, and has womanizing traits or has substance abuse problems, should we not have the right to get fed up and angry?

women can chose a hot man all she wants, but she should also know which ones to stay away from, which a lot of them don't and date whoever, just because the guy is hot.

what about everything that matters? a lot of "not as hot" but still moderately good looking guys have a lot of better things going for them but are still ignored because they aren't physically buff enough or hot enough for half of these girls, which is just simply wrong. again, what about everything else about the guy that actually matters?

[kereru]

all that applies exactly to women as well, sometimes the less better looking ones have more to offer, sometimes the hot ones are not nice, so it's kind of a moot point,

[AndyWes]

1. Looks don't make you like a girl, they attract you to a girl, then her personality/etc either makes you like her or you dislike her.

2. Sure! Why shouldn't a hot girl date a hot guy? If you're an 8, date 8's. If you're a 9, why wouldn't you date 9's? As long as the girl isn't just getting picked for sex by the top guys (which gives an inflated sense of self-worth on the dating market) then it works out fine.

[Theguyoverthere]

It's funny because guys always whine about girls wanting hot guys yet everyone knows damn well if a 400lb girl came up to them all of a sudden it's "Well... we live in two totally different worlds" and they will deny up and down that her weight is the reason.

[Anonymous]

Well I don't think it is write for you to criticize these guys but girls have the right to pick and choose who they want to be with guys even if they are decent looking don't have that luxury in the dating world favors women not men I mean it's human nature to want to be loved men have feelings to you know try taking a walk in a mans shoes because trust me I have seen attractive girls date unattractive guys or attractive guys date unattractive girls it's also preference what may be ugly to you may attractive to another but I do believe people should take proper care of their appearance like workout, wear nice clothing, get a decent hair cut if they feel they deserve an attractive mate.

[Anonymous]

I think the problem is that almost every girl thinks she is hot and deserves the best. You see it a lot one here actually. It's the 80/20 thing some people refer to.

I wouldn't say guys are THAT much different, but they do the approaching, average and all.

[harveykinkle]

Nah. We just want someone we're attracted to. Is that such a bad thing? Keep in mind, a hot girl who's with you but not attracted won't be putting out!

[Opinion Owner]

It's not a bad thing in most cases. It's dependent on your standards and what you bring to the table as well. However, I'll refer you back to my first line.

[harveykinkle]

Most girls think they're ugly.

[Opinion Owner]

No they don't. They only say that to get compliments.

Everyone knows that even the most repugnant girls will get hit on at a club some night.

[Anonymous]

I see hot girls with ugly guys and ugly girls with hot guys all the time. The only thing that will always ruin a guy's chances is lack of confidence/assertiveness.

Also, most girls wear make-up. If you're going to be fair about this, you have to compare a girl without make-up to a guy without make-up. Most guys are dazzled by a girl's make-up though lol.

[harveykinkle]

YES! A guy who understands the confidence thing! You can be ugly as hell but if you're confident you won't be ugly!

[Anonymous]

People should go with who-ever they want to go with. The only people who whine about stuff like that or age gaps are those who can't get a partner if their life depended on it.

And who gives a rats ass what they think because it all comes down to jealousy. Why else would they care about who dates who or if a 35 year old is screwing a 25 year old? Because they can't so what else is there to do...

but whine, and GaG has it's share of those

[CaptainJackH]

Harvey - you're right. Guys are thirsty as f*** and base it on looks ALONE in terms of pursuing a relationship.

I agree that looks are important for women and men. But the reality is men are not judges as heavily on looks. Just the way it is.

[Laetron]

I'm with you on this. Why are you so interested in these hot girls, anyway? Oh, right...because they're hot! Kind of why they're interested in hot guys, no? F***ing hypocrites, man...

[G_GTom]

They, certainly, should, but they should also need to stop pretending to put personality over everything else. Men and women are really the same in this category.

[Anonymous]

Well, you answered your own question, because they are girls not women.

Anyways, some of the "hottest" girls I know are people I would never date because they are also the most ugly.

[lauramor]

you are so right! but there might be exceptions, I mean you never know ahah

[Anonymous]

I'm not. I'm a hot guy and I have fun with dating hot girls.

[harveykinkle]

Yep!

[Anonymous]

and how do you know if you are ugly or not to the girl you are interested in?

[kovalinkie19]

Everyone is free to do whatever they wish.

[Anonymous]

You are so right.

You see the guys that complain are ugly.

[shadowscapes]

Exactly.

[Anonymous]

Go for the hot guy is my motto

[Opinion Owner]

And johnbellucci is a loser