Men prefer happy smiling girls while women prefer silent/brooding guys?

[shacodraco]

I was reading a study that said that this was true and I think it's actually spot on. Even in movies the "bad boys" are often not very talkative and look unhappy.

Here's the link if you want more in depth info:

www.yourtango.com/.../study-women-find-brooding-men-most-attractive

Thoughts?

Updates

+1 y

Well it looks like this study was not really spot on after all. Majority of girls said they like a guy that smiles and guys said the same thing pretty much. I guess it also depends on how attractive a guy is too.

[Anonymous]

Ha well that explains my last crush. He definitely wasn't a "bad boy" though. haha However, I think it may have had more to do with the possibility that he reminded me of my mother on some subconscious level (perhaps, not sure but in retrospect... disturbingly possible)

I don't have a preference for this though. I like different types of guys, but if he can't at least open up to me and have discussions at some point, it would never work out. I talk a lot, I need someone who has opinions, expresses them, makes me laugh, and can chat with me about the silliest and most profound things.

But I am sometimes strongly attracted to quieter guys. I don't think it's a "women like this" situation for me, but that good old curiosity and magnetic situation of opposites attract. But I don't follow through with these types. I really don't think quiet guys could handle me. Quiet brooding guys would definitely get sick of me after a while. I'm not over the top crazy but I am quite bubbly (I'm told) and I am a loud chatterbox. I guess my main redeeming quality for people like this is that I'm very intelligent. And funny. And cute. And yes I do smile a lot. ;)

My parents have been together since high school and they are the opposite. My mother is much closer to being the quiet, moody type. She talks more at home but even then she has her limits with me. "Okay, Emma, you're getting to be a little too much now. Time to shut up." She says this to me all the time. She's easily agitated and overwhelmed by too much discussion, especially if she disagrees with someone. It's draining to her and her emotionally sensitive nature makes her more likely to get pissed off and show it. (Kind of like that guy I had a crush on... smh. He was more calm with me but he was too easily agitated with his family)

My father on the other hand is the very talkative one, he's the outgoing one, popular athlete in school, has leadership qualities, people like him, he's louder than mom, etc.

[shacodraco]

Lol Emma I could tell by this post that you weren't lying about being really talkative! Honestly that can get kind of annoying sometimes for me just because I am usually a man of few words but girls like talking more than guys in general I think so its all good. As long as you're not one of those people that interrupts someone mid speech or is not listening and is just waiting for their turn to talk. Those people annoy the hell out of me but most people aren't like that.

[HYPATIAofALEXANDRIA]

I get along with introspective people better in general bc they tend to be more observant and thoughtful. this would apply to women and men. i do not like brooding bc it usually comes with pissy behavior entitlement and tantrums.

i like thoughtful kind respectful honest compassionate people whether they are talkative r quiet but i do prefer quiet types overall. i'm talkative and quiet depending on the context. i am comfortable in both modes. im not much into smiling and over doing it annoys me. i dont find it very attractive in anyone. 'happy' people come across to me, as annoying fake passive an ignorant.. look at the world around us. if you're 'happy' go lucky all the time. you can't be very thoughtful r compassionate. in addition, no one is always 'happy' unless its contrived. i prefer genuineness, to happy'.

anything quiet or happy. that is fake is not attractive. some people pretend to be quiet to appear cool collected and laid back. other people pretend to be happy bc its supposed to be pleasing to others and they just want to please,

bing who you rally are is the most attractive thing. all things being equal i get along with shy quiet people, women and men, better.

[Izzy2102]

I'm not sure really. In real life you see a guy in all kinds of situations so it's hard to judge.

But if you've ever been to an online dating side, most guys seem to agree with. And while I personally prefer the pictures where guys smile I don't think it hurts your chances if you choose one where you look all serious. If you manage to take a good one that is, most guys that take them by themselves just look incredibly bored which is a big no no. Go for the smiling one in that case

This is yay www.creativeboysclub.com/.../...vember-2013-02.jpg this is nay i.dailymail.co.uk/.../...F00000578-864_634x570.jpg Although peronally I prefer pics like this cdn1.geeknation.com/.../Jake-Gyllenhaal-2.jpg It's also scientifically proven that women find men with wide smiles attractive

[Levin]

It probably depends on how well adjusted the girl is too. Personally, I can't be doing with the games. I'm a bit too long in the tooth for all that, at the risk of sounding 80! I'd rather a happy, contended, upfront girl, go for the same in a guy. Hopefully not unrealistic!

[shacodraco]

@Izzy2102 haha come on you can't compare Jake GyllensdfAsdf to that other dude though. The other dude is not nearly as attractive as Jake.

@Levin Yes seriously girls that play games are not worth my time. Especially the texting game, if a girl plays that game I usually just stop talking to her unless she calls or keeps texting. Its really dumb and childish.

[Izzy2102]

well that's kinda of the point though. You can def pull off that rough tough guy look, but you need to be attractive and well with a camera. For most people that's going to be a huge fail.

That guy in the second pic would have been way better off chosing a picture of him having fun

[Levin]

pfft. You girls are so picky. He looks quite the catch! :P

[shacodraco]

Lol I think the guy in the second pic has more problems than just camera angle tho. That hairstyle...

[sa230e]

I do like happy smiling girls but I can't say silence ever made me more attractive. The only times in my life when girls responded positively to me was when I was happy and at peace with myself. Unfortunately, I've had a lot of battles with anxiety and depression which have left me pretty grim. I could definitely be characterized as the silent, brooding type and if anything it seems to drive people away.

[Agrojag]

I've had the same experience.

[shacodraco]

Thats true in most normal situations I think. But one time I went to a bar all by myself because I really wanted to drink and none of my friends wanted to go. I was probably looking more pissed than sad but you'd be surprised how many people tried to cheer me up. Most of them girls too. So it depends on the situation too I think.

[Anonymous]

That kinda surprises me. I often hear that girls like guys who smile and like to have fun as well.
I'm not sure what kind of girls I like. Haven't figured that out yet. But everyone is different. Just because research says majority of people prefer one over the other doesn't make it spot on for everyone.

[washize]

That is all you need to know. Everyone is different. That is why reading this junk will turn you crazy. Every piece of "advice" contradicts itself. And even if you do follow it, who's to say any of it will apply to whom you're interested in? Its best just to learn about people from the individuals around you.

[shacodraco]

True that, I usually don't agree with most research just because it was done by "educated" people but I thought this was accurate based on what I've seen/experienced. But seems like most people dont agree so I don't know

[washize]

I enjoy silent, introverted, shy guys. They're usually the most fun and the most attentive. I just get down with people who observe more than they talk. Even though I don't have a particular type when it comes to dating. Most of the qualities I like in men, are usually found in men with specific personality traits.

Brooding guys? No

I don't want a bad/boy. I don't want to be cheated on, beaten , or raped. I don't want to go to jail, or be forced to do drugs. I'm not attracted to abusive relationships. Violent/stupid/crazy men make my vagina dry up and shrived.

I like men who are human beings with brains, that don't obsess over gender roles and norms. I like men who live their lives the way they want to and are happy with their existence as a human being. Luckily I've met a man like that.

[shacodraco]

Human beings with brains? Talk about high standards lol! Glad that you found a guy like that hehe.

[washize]

lol yeah, thanks.

[HYPATIAofALEXANDRIA]

Agreed.

lol You probably found one of the only 5 in the continent ;-)

[shacodraco]

Hahah actually my head feels really hollow when I tap on it compared to most other people's heads. Maybe I should go get a brain scan and see whats going on.

[washize]

Lol its a little more work to find people in general who aren't hung up on gender roles/norms and don't try to shape their lives around them. I've found a great guy, and I haven't actually met anyone else like him. So he's one in a million to me :)

[Babaorom1]

Emmmm I think what women like about quiet bad boys is when they become talkative and caring for them and only them. Girls look for exclusivity.

So I think in a deeper level, girls like bad boys because they want to be the only ones he's not bad with. Happy guys are nice to everyone, some girls want to feel more special.

This is also why bullshit like Twilight and 50 shades of Grey is so popular. The bad guy who suddenly becomes abnormally attentive and nice to ONE girl.

[shacodraco]

Ah yes I see what you mean and it makes sense!

[Babaorom1]

You know i remember reading an article about that but i dont know to what extent its true. Basically what it said was that in a primitive part of the girl's brain, bad boys give them the insurance that he will be able to "protect" the family (like in prehistoric times).

[acka72]

Oh no. Silent brooding guys dont call my attention. I preferr smiley joking guys. A brooding negative quiet guy can piss me off especially if Im trying to be nice and he continues to act like a sour lemon. Even better, I love smiley joking guys who get into trouble and say things they shouldn't say in serious situations.

[shacodraco]

"I love smiley joking guys who get into trouble and say things they shouldn't say in serious situations."

Lmao you just pretty much described me most of the time. I've tried to cut back on the joking though because people don't take you seriously if you joke too much. But a lot of people can't take a joke also and I try to stay away from those uptight people. Also if you joke you should make fun of yourself more than others I think.

[mintscent]

It depends. I can't only like a single trait of a guy. I like him for a combination of traits, which makes him unique. No one is exactly the same as the other; we're all different, though we can be similar in certain aspects.
I can't say I have a pattern, a strictly predefined set of attributes the guy I like should have.
I'm young so I've only had three big crushes in my life. I once liked the smart, sporty, optimistic, energetic, happy-go-lucky kind of guy, then the mysterious, cool, sporty but really sensitive and kind on the inside kind of guy, and now the very silly (but silly in a different way compared to the other two boys), touchy-feely but very intelligent kind of guy, with one of the hottest voices I've ever heard, but who isn't a sports fan at all. So.. see what I mean? It just depends who strikes my fancy at that moment. Every person is beautiful if you get to get along and to know him/her. :)

[Agrojag]

I'm a quiet-brooder-type and it hasn't worked for me. Maybe I'm too angry-looking? I really don't know, but the girls I see are most often with guys who are loud and extroverted.

[rUinSAYAN]

yeah. those macho guys who fuck with everyone. very often

[shacodraco]

Maybe the brooding thing only works for initial attraction...

[Agrojag]

Your guess is as good as mine.

[bluexqueen]

I wouldn't say that for everyone but I think of mix of smiling and brooding would be most attractive.

[shacodraco]

Agreed, people that smile all the time can be super annoying lol.

[gingerrr]

I don't like the silent, broody guys. I love a guy who is mature, but tells jokes a lot. If a guy can keep me laughing I am in love.

[gingerrr]

And a guy who smiles... ahhh!

[shacodraco]

What about if a guy jokes around like all the time. I can be like that sometimes and I think its hard for people to take you seriously sometimes if you're usually joking all the time. So how much joking is too much?

[gingerrr]

Outside of my job and school I don't take things to seriously. As long as I know the guy is mature I could careless how much he jokes around.

[gingerrr]

Wait, I said the same thing on my first comment. It's too much joking if I am trying to have a serious conversation with him or something significant is happening and he is just making a joke out of it. That's where I draw the line.

[kheserthorpe]

I've seen other research showing the same thing.

So... it seems likely. At least in terms of deeming someone attractive based on a photo.

[shacodraco]

I think a photo also hugely depends on how attractive a guy is though. Like if you show most females a photo of 2 depressed looking guys, one attractive, one not so much, most girls will still probably find the attractive one hot.

[kheserthorpe]

Nobody has suggested that expression matters MORE than facial features.

The studies are saying that the same guys score higher when rated by women based on a serious expression then a smiling one.

What women say they like doesn't matter They may say they like smiles and may like it when a guy smiles at them or appropriately but the reality is when shown photos they rate guys slightly higher when looking moodily into the distance.

[shacodraco]

"What women say they like doesn't matter"

Ha ha best line ever. Thats kind of true though at least from what I've seen on this site. Not just from women though, guys too. Goes to show that attraction happens subconsciously I guess.

[kheserthorpe]

Absolutely guys too. Look at all the guys saying they don't like makeup. Sure badly done makeup is bad. The reality is that well done makeup does attract men.

Asking people what they think they find attractive is not the same as observing what they actually find attractive.

[menina]

That's not my case. A beautiful smile is one the most attractive things in a guy, it catches my attention in a minute.

[shacodraco]

Cool, thanks for the answer!

[menina]

You're welcome :)

[Daph81]

Nah, not for me.

I was actually attracted to a guy some time ago because of his carefree laugh and his good aura. He wasn't good looking, and isn't my type, but he is cheerful and laughs easily in a really "buahahahahaha" carefree way. He exudes such a good vibe and made me enjoy his company.

[pr3ttybr0wn]

I like happy guys who joke a lot too

Keep in mind bad boys can be like that too.

[shacodraco]

Of course haha making a girl laugh seems to be the key to her heart.

[GiftShop]

I like the more quiet/less talkative (that's what catches my eye).
But I love to see when they smile... I don't know how attractive a person can be if they never smile or laugh.

[Metal89]

That would definitely explain guys attraction to girl cheerleaders. I don't think that article is exactly true though. My dad isn't like that and my mom has been married to him for 25 years but I realize that's only ONE example.

[shacodraco]

Hmm I think most guys like cheerleaders for their sex appeal ;)

[Metal89]

Yes, but why. All girls have sex appeal, but why cheerleaders specifically. THE UNIFORM

[shacodraco]

"All girls have sex appeal" Haha where do you live? I want to move there if that's true!

[Metal89]

If every girl didn't have sex appeal, what would be the point in them living?

[shacodraco]

... did you really just say that? Sex is a huge part of living but there's way more to life than just that. And everyone has sex appeal for someone out there but most guys including myself do not find overweight girls attractive. Of course there is always someone out there that might but most guys don't go out of their way to get with a fat girl. And that's why most cheerleaders are in good shape.

[Metal89]

So you truly are a judgmental creep

[shacodraco]

A judgmental creep? That's pretty harsh lol. I just know my own standards, its not like I'm saying overweight girls should kill themselves like you are. I'm just saying I won't date them so thats just preference. Hows is that creepy?

[Metal89]

I never said they should kill themselves. You're saying that

[Metal89]

What if a fat girl really liked you and had a great personality. How does she not have sex appeal? If she didn't, you're saying she shouldn't live

[shacodraco]

Well I was basing that on the fact that you said there would be no point in girls living if they didn't have sex appeal. I've turned down girls that liked me before because I wasn't attracted to them. I wasn't mean about it of course but I'm not going to force myself in a relationship with a girl that I don't find attractive. Would you?

[Anonymous]

Quiet and brooding sure worked for me in high school and college. I think the study is generally pretty spot on.

Regarding your update, what women say they want and what they actually go for are often very different things,

[Jamie23]

I guess I can't completely disagree. My boyfriend got my attention because he was so quiet. But he's not so quiet around me anymore and nothing makes me happier than seeing him smile. So I don't know where I stand on this haha.

[AdamThomas]

Could it be the idea of seeing a side to him that most people don't get to see?

[Jamie23]

I honestly think that might be part of it yes. (:

[ManThatKnewTooMuch]

Well I'm a quiet brooder but I also fuck with people in a macho way. I've been called a machista (Spanish for macho jerk) and an asshole. I don't get tons of women on my doorstep though.

[shacodraco]

What are some things you do to fuck with people?

[ManThatKnewTooMuch]

I'm a ball buster. I just give guys shit when they act or say things that can be construed as girl... but I mean, it's all in good fun you know? Obviously I do that with people that can handle it. Most guys are way different nowadays... can't really handle that.

[bunnahies]

idc whether theyre talkitive or not. but seeing a guy smile makes my heart melt. i want to touch their face!! it puts a smile on my face even if he's a stranger too :(

[jstfaxlumbrjax]

I must not be normal then, bc I love a man's smile... and my goal is to cause it as much as possible. I see brooding as self indulgent and needy... and I walk hard and fast in the other direction.

[ArabianPwincess197]

i like guys who smile and laugh

[Anonymous]

From what I've observed, that appears to be true.

[AdamThomas]

Works for me.