Polls: Dating

Not too long ago I went on date for the hell of it with a young woman I had very little physical attraction for. But I treated her well, bought her drinks, engaged in a good conversation and even drove her back to her place.

After some discussion she made a very insulting comment about my haircut a few moments after I dropped her off. Taken aback and pissed off I just said “well fuck you & have a good night” and left. I did nothing to provoke her. I didn’t hit on her.

The next day I sent her a DM saying “that haircut comment was mean”. She responded “you know what you are completely right. You did absolutely nothing to deserve it. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me”. She then proceeded to literally beg to me (not exaggerating) to go on a second date. She kept going off on how cute I was & everything else.

I told her I felt better that she apologized but I declined. I wished her the best.

I later asked myself (and should have asked her) would she have apologized if she did not find me attractive? I highly doubt it. Her apology wasn’t truly genuine because there was still something in it for her.

The world isn’t fair. It’s obviously easier to mistreat people who are of little or no value to you. It’s like seeing a homeless person. There is virtually nothing they can do for you (and they can be annoying or even dangerous). But would you do something nice for them and do it discreetly (not for optics)?

It is just in my experience especially with dating is that women have a harder time respecting men they don’t find value in.

To a limited extent I can understand they don’t want to give the guy the wrong idea. But once a woman determines a man is of little use to her she feels like it’s okay to disrespect him much more then vice versa

I have been in the reverse position a few times. I won’t bend over backwards for those women. But I won’t ghost or disrespect them either. I will politely turn them down.

This cute girl started recently and she is quite nice. I didn’t think too much initially when she was presented (maybe that she is cute but that’s all). But the past couple of months I found that she has a really cool personality. Really nice, smart, sense of humour. She remembered some details for me even tho we are in different departments. We joke around. We had a very nice conversation about her hometown while travelling from work once and it seemed that she enjoyed our brief time then. However I never really though anything for my colleagues ever. For me they are just colleagues. I am kinda one of the cool colleagues with whom you can always talk to and get help and people usually expect me to do something in a convo. But here I am wondering after I kinda got nervous talking to her the other day.. heart pumping, weird. There is this one colleague who gives her a lot of attention and sits next to her. They joke around and stuff. Even gave her “jokingly” a “my-work-wife” bracelet. Yesterday I got a notification for her profile in Facebook. Was wondering if should just add her (I rarely add coworkers). I can talk shit in front of people for hours, but when it comes to the romantic side of things, I am kinda weak. So maybe just sit on my ass and pass? I have enough work and sh*t to ignore her but I find myself thinking…maybe she is just a good person and I shouldn’t mix things (today she even gave me free lasagna that she made for some cook-off they were doing at her department…talk about the way to a man’s hearth is his stomach.) So continue talking to her, add her on Fb and plan to ask her out?

We follow each other we met on Halloween at a house party.
She actually came up to me and spoke I think. She goes to another university in the city, very general conversation. Pretty Italian girl. What stopped me talking to her was that she follows materialistic stuff.

What would I say to her?

Would you take someone you’re dating not ever being jealous as a sign they trust you completely or that they must not care about you all that much? Or something entirely different?

so i mean at all. Like not even the tiniest bit. Like even if you were to hug an ex of yours right in front of them, they just don’t get jealous.

how would you feel about that?

here's a bunch of reddit posts about partners not being jealous and it actually bothers them.

https://duckduckgo.com/?q=partner+does+not+get+jealous+reddit&ia=web

• Had this discussion with a buddy, he states he would look in an instant if givin the chance. I told him he was nuts, you are violating trust on so many levels.

I told him I’d only look if I had concrete proof of something big/bad “maybe” I’d peek. First I’d feel guilty as hell and Second I’d be ruining whatever trust I had.

What say you?

My definition of obsessed is them being in your thoughts everyday, whether you see them or not, always finding a way to bring them up in conversation, always stalking them on social media, hanging on their every word, etc