Way back in my high school and college days, I worked three various retail jobs at 2 small retail chains and one major one. Two out of the three stores are no longer in existence and good riddance! I worked these jobs for a five year period and they all sucked. The only saving grace was that I did have at least 2 managers who were amazing and funny, but that was about it. So, in order for catharsis to happen, I will now recount the top 40 reasons those jobs really sucked and I'm sure anybody that currently works in or worked retail in the past for any length of time, can totally relate.
1. Any sales promotions
2. Any Holiday
3. Any Holiday with Sales Promotions
4. Finding urine, vomit, blood, dirty underwear, spit wads, full diapers, cigarettes, food trash, or other exceptional grossness left in the dressing rooms
5. Customers who bought $2 worth of merch with a hundred dollar bill
6...and then having no change left for the next person in line
7....causing you to have to call over a manager for a register pull
8....which took forever, meanwhile, the customers in line glared at you like it was your fault
9. Register break downs in the middle of sales
10. Power outages
11. Pissed off customers with old sales sheets wanting to get old sales pricing and deals no longer valid
12. INVENTORY
13. Unattended Children
14. Having to clean the customer bathroom.
15. Customers trying to fit into clothes 4x too small for them and stretching/snapping/breaking the clothing because their egos would not allow them to take the size you recommended and you offered in the first place
16. Despite 100 signs along the way, including the one now right in front of their face, people still trying to bring considerably more items than allowed into the dressing room
17. People getting mad about your return policy even though it’s on the receipt, it’s on the board in big letters above you, it’s on the website, and you tell them about it with each transaction
18...and screaming in your face when you follow your work policies that won't allow returns of certain merch
19. People getting to the register and dumping everything there and saying never mind
20. Anybody paying with $12 worth of coins
21. Anybody paying with a check
22. Having to give directions to the directionally challenged over the phone then having them call back and having to go through it all over again.
23. Not the nice kind, but the annoying, entitled, bratty regulars whom you had to play rock, paper scissors or ‘not it,’ with other employees to decide who would deal with them today.
24. People wanting to return dirty sweaty and definitely used anything…
25. That one guy who went off for 10 minutes straight because I calmly said I could not return his clothing because we didn't even carry that brand...and then finally during his yelling session which was way too close to my personal space, that he tried to involve the whole store in, me asking to see his receipt which clearly had the name of a whoooolllleeeeeee other store on it. Yes, you, guy, you get special mention for being an even bigger a-hole for not even bothering to apologize after you finally recognized your error and stormed out.
26. When you're in an area cleaning. The customers see you cleaning. They take clothing item, drop it on the floor, and walk off, or fling the clothes on any surface
27. Thieves.
28. People accusing you of racism for following store policies, and I’m not talking watching/following customers and/or profiling. We’re talking returns, purchases, pricing.
29. Religious fanatics about Christmas and/or Jesus during the holidays who want everyone and everything to be religious because they are.
30. Freight (aka, unboxing, unbagging, tagging, folding and hanging the thousands of clothes that come in each season) and looking and feeling like you jumped down a dirty chimney.
31...and the endless broken nails and dust and dirt everywhere that resulted from doing it
32. People asking you to call a store for a certain item, fine. People who then insisted you call four or five more while your line grew steadily behind them, not so much
33. Literally having a manager that told all the ladies in the department that we would have to start wearing high heels from now on despite having to stand on our feet for 12 hour shifts at a register during the holiday season…whereby no one could even see our feet anyway. (He did not win what was going to be a hell of a fight after someone inquired into corporate about “such policies”).
34. Being "in the red" during a sales period because of extremely bad weather and being berated by a district manager for why we didn't manage to reach the sales goals from last years identical period but with perfect weather...like really?
35. Having to come in at 5am to set up anything.
36. Mandatory staff meetings/trainings on your off day!
37.Customers who laugh at you or treat you inferiorly for you know, having a job!
38. Having to spend half the day doing markdowns with a beeping markdown gun
39. …and then having customers relentlessly ask you while you’re trying to actually finish markdowns, if what they have in hand is also marked down.
40. And finally, the reason I eventually quit retail jobs altogether and got another job while finishing up my degree…having 3 guys burst in 15 minutes before closing, pistol whipping and shoving customers, and being held up at gunpoint for a crappy job, with an a-hole boss, and long hours. No $6.75 job is or was worth my damn life!
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15. Customers trying to fit into clothes 4x too small for them and stretching/snapping/breaking the clothing because their egos would not allow them to take the size you recommended and you offered in the first place
26. When you're in an area cleaning. The customers see you cleaning. They take clothing item, drop it on the floor, and walk off, or fling the clothes on any surface
27. Thieves.
Retail needs to die..
You are creative and smart. This is very well done AND Funny-Painful !!