The Worst Interview Questions Employers Ask

[Anonymous]

1. "What is your biggest weakness?"

What it really means: "You're going to lie, but everyone asks this question so I do it too."

What you want to say: "I have a very low tolerance for bullshit, and this is some fine one sir."

What you say in real life: "Perfectionist"

2. "Why do you want to work with us?"

What they want to hear: "Please promise me that you won't quit as soon as you're offered a bit more than the miserable salary that I will pay you"

What you want to say: "Because I’m broke."

What you say in real life: "It's a kid's dream, the first time I saw your company, I knew I wanted to work for you."

3. "Aren’t you overqualified for this job?"

What they want to hear: "No, of course not, even serving coffee here would be a blessing for a piece of shit like me"

What you want to say: "Of course I am!"

What you say in real life: "No"

4. "Do you consider your work history consistent?"

What does it really mean: "Hey loser, there’s a three-year hole in your resume, where you smoking pot during that time or what?"

What you want to say: "Crappy studies for a crappy job, everything seems pretty consistent"

What you say in real life: "I like taking risks, I am proud of all my experiences, because they made me the person who stands before you today."

5. "What are your hobbies?"

What they want to hear: "I don’t have a life, I love working on weekends and holidays."

What you want to say: "I have a passion for adult movies from the 80s"

What you say in real life: "I enjoy acting, it's an empowering activity that helped me overcome my shyness"

6. "Why did you leave your previous job?"

What does it really mean: "Don’t lie to me, they fired your ass, didn’t they?"

What you want to say: "It was either that or I would have stabbed them all"

What you say in real life: "I wanted a challenge, and your company matches this need."

7. "Why should we hire you?"

What they want to hear: "I'm going to do all the work for you"

What you want to say: "I’m sure I won’t be the best one at work, but I make excellent cookies, and I’m hilarious. You’ll never get bored or be hungry if I work here."

What you say in real life: "I will be a great asset to your company.”

8. "What gets you up in the morning?"

What it really means: "I'm sure you'll be late all the time like all the useless clowns who work here."

What you want to say: "My alarm clock."

What you say in real life: "The prospect of taking up new challenges, at work but also in the human relationships that bind me to my colleagues."

[zagor]

Very timely, as I am know interviewing for my next sale of a slice of my life.

[honesty321]

You biggest weakness is your biggest strength eventually , you will find out. So be happy.

[Anonymous]

I hate when the female job interviewer looks down at my crotch and says "do you plan on having an erection the WHOLE time you're working for us?"

[disgustingweebtrash]

I agree with this lmao