My boss is creeping me out and I don't know why. Should I quit?

[Anonymous]

Let's start off by saying I'm a very innocent girl. I've never had sex or masrurbated before and I'm almost 19. I never did anything with a boy before or any of that stuff. I don't like drinking, partying, drugs, etc. Or any of that stuff. I enjoy reading and being with my family.
I'm a very quiet and reserved person at work. I hate talking to my co-workers because I don't like people in my business and I don't care about theirs. Lately my boss has been giving me bad vibes, he tries to act fatherly or really nice. I don't like it. My male co-workers keep asking why I don't speak to them. They've been asking for months. They're much older, some have girlfriend's and kids, smoke, drink, etc. I don't want to talk to them at all. I just want to go to work, make money and continue focusing on me.
Everytime I go into work I get this dread feeling. Like as soon as I walk in, I want to run back out. I've been having problems breathing in there lately.
My boss is really creeping me out and I know he's a bit creepy. I didn't tell my mom but one day he said something about the floor 'realky grinding on him', in a very weird tone.
Something is telling me to quit but it's my first job.

Yes

No

[Anonymous]

There are so many aspects here one could write a book. I used to be like this, just wanted to be left alone, not talk to anyone. Do you know what happened when I finally talked to people? I got new ideas, support for projects, I continued on things when I would have otherwise quit, I made contacts that could help me in my future, I got opinions and some really honest feedback about things I was working on.

You assume that all of these other people hold no value. You assume your boss is a creep and don't like that he is trying to be nice and fatherly. Do you know what the boss is like with my friend? absolutely terrible, he'd love it if his boss was as nice as yours.

It sounds to me like you want to remain in a bubble, in your own world and that only you are the center of it all but other people also hold value.

If your boss is creeping you out, you need to ask yourself whether he is creeping you out, or whether your perception is doing the creeping. Also ask yourself whether if you'd still feel like this if you'd have been more social.

I am pretty antisocial myself, but I also learned how useful it can be to have the skills to interact and understand others. I get the feeling that a lot of how you feel is coming more from how you feel about them, than how they actually are and if you quit, it's likely you will find the same repeated.

How do you know your boss is a bit creepy?
What exactly did he say about the floor grinding?

That something telling you to quit is not necessarily your gut, it could be fear (fight or flight). It could also be linked to work phobia as well.

[Drumlin2001]

It sounds as if you have issues with interacting with people, which would seem to be the centre of the problem. Have you had issues with anxiety in the past? Have you ever sought any help to work through them?
You seem to be jumping to the conclusion that your colleagues are creepy quite quickly. That phrasing carries some connotations, especially these days, which seems a little harsh as from what you describe it doesn't sound like they've done too much wrong (obviously you don't give huge detail).
You say you want to work on you, I'd suggest some assertiveness training, maybe some communication training.

[Alex31]

If you are uncomfortable and he doesn't seem to act like any other ramdom person would act, then quit. There are so many perverts, maybe he has innocent girl fetish and plans to seduce you (in best scenario). However, I don't want to sound as if I consider you socially awkward, but if you don't establish contacts with others then many normal things may seem creepy to you in future. You may be so unfamiliar with stuff going on in the room that you may consider a simple fun behavior as a threat. Also, contacts are a very good investment, it helps you get jobs, get promoted, etc. Of course you should study and work hard and not rely on communications but believe me it is an important thing too.

[MrFive]

You're the only response that was helpful.

This girl is painfully reserved. She is gonna be crippled in later life if she doesn't open up some.

I wanna know the context of the floor thing. Like 'i hate these grey floor tiles always lift. It really grinds on me.' fine

'i bet you'dook great on this floor, grinding against me' different

[lotv56]

I'm curious about why you felt the need to express how innocent you were? Would someone who is more outgoing and not innocent be okay with a creepy guy? or? I think you struggle with a type of anxiety, if you don't feel comfortable then yea quit. But based on what you said I can't say if he is creepy or not. But you should work where you feel comfortable.

[idk777]

So I know that women are way better at picking up vibes from people than guys are. If he's making you feel that uncomfortable, you might want to quit. That's in regards to your boss.

In regards to your other male co-workers, I don't really understand your point of view. They want to talk because they are basically locked in with you for eight hours a day and don't want to be bored, it's not to try to get some sexual pleasure. If you don't want to talk to anyone, ok that's up to you, but you should find some way to respectfully communicate that to them. It sounds like you're basically walking in and telling everybody to fuck off- of course they are going to think that's off and rude.

[Dchrls78104]

Sometimes it's best to go with your gut - - but your gut can be wrong. Seek advice from your mom and anyone else closest to you, then make your decision. You can also make discreet enquiries about your boss who is making you feel uncomfortable, to find out his track record.

[MrFive]

He said something about the floor, really grinding on him? And you take that as creepy?

You are aware that something grinding on you is not a sexual saying yes?

To be honest you don't sound ready to be a grown up, I think you need more life experience. You probably need to talk to your colleagues and make conversation. This sheltered life will not be good for you.

[askmegirlagain]

If you are courteous and presentable. If you know your work. Then you are fine. It's not necessary to make friends at work

[KalEl1980]

Just stick with urself. You aren't there to make friends.

[My-Shangri-La]

It sounds to me like you have bad anxiety. You’re the problem based on what I just read, not them.

[aapohxay]

No one keeps their first job. Just saying.

[OneOffensiveGamer]

Your a bitch no offense

[anon907]

Do you have boyfriend?

[hound22222233]

Do want to do. Something with him

[Anonymous]

Yeah.