I'm moving schools for the second time in my life. The first time was in second grade, so it was easy for me to make friends. Throughout middle school, I was very social, outgoing, and a bit loud. A bit later in 9th grade, I began to be a lot more quiet, awkward, and started dealing with anxiety. I feel like if I leave my school, my friends wouldn't really care. A lot of my friends talk to the people I don't get along with. And since I'm in a small school, it's hard to avoid running into people I'm not on good terms with. The new school is small as well, but is it bad to be too outgoing and straightforward? Should I remain quiet and wait for someone to approach me? Or should I try to give off the same energy I did in middle school, but risk being annoying to others? I'd be entering as a senior in high school, so how difficult would it be to make friends so late in the year? The students at my current school are people I've basically grown up with since elementary, but I feel like I should push myself out of my comfort zone?
I think making just one friend on the first day really helps. They can be your rock or introduce you to more people. You can compliment something they’re wearing, ask them a question, don’t look afraid, try to look approachable. Maybe ask them if it would be okay to sit with with them at lunch seeing as you don’t know anyone, most people are open to this idea.
One thing I learned from my experience in high school is that you don’t really talk to anyone once you graduate. None of it really matters because you’ll get a fresh start when once you graduate. So just try to be easy going, chill, crack a joke every once in a while. Don’t try too hard, if someone doesn’t seem interested, move on— you don’t want to be friends with someone like that anyways.
If your anxiety gets in the way, ask to use the restroom and take a 5 minute breather, there’s some great vids on YouTube to help calm you down and get you in the right headspace! Best of luck to you this school year!
If you have any more questions, feel free to dm me :-)
As a person who moved every single year of my life. Please understand NOBODY is going to come up to you and ask to be best friends lol. You HAVE to force yourself to go up to a semi popular or popular girl and say “hey! I’m new to this school it would be so awesome if I could sit with you if that’s ok” you HAVE to do that or else you will be stuck sitting alone like I did every school I went to until high school I got SICK of sitting alone and I forced myself. When I say force, I FORCED myself to tell a popular girl she was pretty and if she could add me on Instagram then the next day I asked on Instagram if I could sit next to her at lunch. It was very embarrassing and out of my comfort zone but guess what. That was the BEST most social year I ever had because of simply being friends with her. It’s not about being outgoing, not about being quiet. It’s about not being afraid of other people to make friends with no matter how popular they are.
I think join some activity and meet a friend or two. could be running or skeet shooting or band or acting, rock climbing. you only need 1 or two, make sure you stick to your set of values and rules.. lot of corrupt behavior out there and it isn't worth the trauma. The other approach is to start your own club if you are that outgoing, like how to relate to the opposite sex club... read a book or watch a video together and talk, lots would dig that... if you can maange a bunch of hormonal creatures.
or go to church where some others go and meet them there, often they are more engaging and outgoing
That's tricky - it doesn't sound at all like you have FRIENDS in your current school. More like enemies who like to keep you close. In that sense, I don't know that you will lose much. What do your parents do/why do other kids hate you - are they jealous? Regarding the senior year - I don't know I'd make any effort to make friends - what you do after that will matter more (college/uni etc). School friends are overrated - it's a place to get bullied because you have to put up with people, and not much else.
Or, from the photo - just don't. Don't bother. Who cares. You really won't need any of those people, save for the ones that you actually like, ever in your life.
Don't. That's my advice. I've tried to fit in twice and all that seems to happen is you do things you hate.
If you really want to though, the best way would be to spend the first couple days to exploit your new person status. People are typically curious about the new kid, so it pays to info gather. Find out what groups there are and what their like, then find the one you like the best, and spend time trying to be with that group of people.
Personally though, I reccomend being yourself. By trying to fit in you'll just attract people who want to exploit your wanting to fit in to make you do what they want you to. and that's never a good thing.
I would suggest being the one that takes control of the situation.
You'll find later that you'll have to make new friends in life many times. For example when I went to uni, I was fine with reaching out and making new friends because I had already done so in college. It helped me get the confidence to meet as many people as possible. I didn't make friends with everyone, but I made friends with people that I wouldn't of if I hadn't reached out first.
I noticed so many other freshers aren't used to making new friends though and so they felt stuck with those they lived with or people in their classes.
It makes work so much easier aswell when you know everyone and you can build your network on thT
Do bother too much, the most important thing is to be yourself (your real self, the person you are when all the people that make you feel uncomfortable aren't with you. thats who you are, strong funny and intelligent ) the right people will meet you. I think going to a new school would be best for you it'll give you a new chance to concentrate on channelling the real you (there you don't have to hang with anyone you don't want to, you are new and free to explore ) when you get to the new school give genuine comments ( don't say what don't mean just to please people) everything is fine , you are fine 🙂
Once you get there, one of the attention whoring bitches will bully you (they always do). When she does - beat the living shit out of her. Send her to a hospital and make sure she's deformed for life. Trust me, you'll have 100 new friends and admirers by the end of. the day. :)
Oh, really? A felony charge for standing up to a highschool bully? No, that's not how shit works. Unless this is a third world country school and your parents are a failure at presenting your case - you'll get reprimanded, perhaps even suspended, but the bully's parents wouldn't want the authorities involved (as their kid was the aggressor who simply got what they deserved).
Just be yourself. If you fit in, cool. If you don't, then so be it. I can assure you that a lot of your school (as well as most highschools) are filled with godless losers. Once it's all over, they end up fat, dead from overdose, single mothers, or some other shit. A few will succeeed, but even they're probably shitty people deep down.
Give other people your attention, be curious about them. What they're feeling, what they think, what they're going through. Take interest in other people, rather than being focused on what you're feeling and you'll make friends very quickly.
Remember to just show the best you that you can. Show confidence, dress nicely, and ACTUALLY APPROACH PEOPLE. They may not come to you if you project yourself as reserved and unapproachable.
Whenever I pip up at a new 'place' I take my time to see how the others are like. I show myself as I am and see how things develop. I'll be accessible, but won't force contacts for the sake of contacts.
I'm serious lol, it's probably why your anxeity started, and why you suddenly went antisocial and started overthinking and doubting yourself. I'm not speaking blindly, I've had too many friends who had the same change of behaviour because they started the Otaku life
Get your mind busy with something more productive and realistic
Itll be pretty boring waiting for someone to approach you (learned from experience) try to find someone you think is cool and see if you can be friends with each other; you could make more friends with their friends
I think you should be confident and try not to overthink about making friends in a new school. As long as you be respectful, no one will find you annoying and be true to yourself, and everything will be fine. I think you’ll make friends.
I agree with @Iron_Man's sage advice. To the guys you will be the exotic "new girl", so interesting. The girls' reaction will depend a bit on your looks. They won't like new competiton, but attractive prople make friends more easily.
Stay to yourself play it cool. Let them approach you. Be kind and smile a lot. Dont over do it trying to sell yourself to be liked by new people
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Anonymous
(18-24)
+1 y
I've been through about seven schools and I can say you'll make at least a friend. Friends should honestly come naturally so don't try too hard, but also don't be closed off and rude.
Look kiddo, All ya have to do is dress well, just be naturally kind (without being fake), be respectful to the teachers and maybe join a club. You may or may not gain friends doing this but you'll feel positive about yourself daily.
Just don't try to hard, be fake, know your place, dont back down, mind your business, find the relatable people, dont show the wrong people up. Once people know you than you'll fit right in. For a guy its really easy for women it's more difficult.
Not exactly completely go out of you're comfort zone. Wait till you see someone that seems like someone you'd hang out with at you're old school and tell them how you're new and need to make a few friends
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