Almost 25 never been in a relationship and live at home?

[Anonymous]

I’m have a maths degree and a teaching qualification and I’m a full time maths teacher. I’m working on my side business which is a fashion company, so I am busy working on fashion design and building my website for my future startup brand and saving my work money. I live at home to save money. Am I a loser? I do all my chores and clean the full house once a week. I cook my own food. I haven’t been able to pass my drivers test but in the uk it’s so expensive, strict and unessesary that I put if off for now because I can easily commute to work.

I don’t go out much and don’t really haven’t friends because I don’t really like replies and commiting to friends for som Reason. I don’t really trust so easily and worry that people are just using me or wasting my time. I’ve never had sex either.

Am I loser? Do I have Peter Pan syndrome?

Updates

9 mo

I’ve tried dating but I don’t think men take me seriously. They just talk about my looks and try to sleep with me to use me basically. Which I never let happen and never will. So I’ve stopped dating cause there’s no point. My personality is practical, introverted, long term planning, overthinker, a bit serious, creative, imaginative and artistic, hands on, problem solver

[Oliverlogan263]

Sis, you are not a loser at all! Don't be so hard on yourself.

From what you described, it sounds like you've got a lot of great things going for you. You've got stable jobs teaching and working on your own fashion business - that's super impressive! Living at home is smart to save money too.

As for dating, I feel you on not trusting people easily or feeling like guys just wanna use you. A lot of dudes out there definitely still have that mentality. But don't give up on finding someone genuine!

Maybe try branching out through your creative hobbies instead of apps, where you can meet people who share your passions. Or what about coworkers you vibe with? Slowly opening up takes time, but worth it when you find your people.

And don't stress about timelines - you do you on your terms! Focus on what makes you feel fulfilled now like your career goals. The right person will love that driven spirit of yours. So keep shining sis! You've got so much going for you.

At the end of the day as long as you like yourself, screw what anyone else thinks. You keep building your dope life - the rest will unfold how it's meant to. Chin up, okay? You've got this!

[sawno]

You are listing a bunch of male qualities as the assets, men often look for more feminine traits. If we already make good money we don't care about your job, the living at home is not necessarily an issue but with how impossible it is to get a house that can be harder as a couple if he also didn't manage to get one yet.

The problem your having is possibly that your not in a situation where you meet the right guys. Its hard to judge how compatible you'd be with me for example from this post alone. You can only get that vibe from actual conversation.

[sawno]

The trust issues however can be blocking you, make sure your not assuming the guy just wants you for sex if he's actually a good guy who also wants sex. Nearly every guy will want sex in the relationship because thats a sexual commitment / exclusivity.

[Asker]

Does that mean I’m more like a man? I’ve always been like this. I get too bored if I’m not creating something or doing something productive. Do you think Maybe I wasn’t mean to be in a relationship because I have this style of living?

[Asker]

Most men I’ve met don’t have their own house. Sometimes I make more than them.. if I marry rich they I will just make clothes. But it’s very unlikely I will get a rich man to love me

[sawno]

Nah not at all, but it does mean those aren't necessarily selling points to all men. You'd want a partner to compliment you in a relationship right? So men will looking at the kind of qualities they'd need from a partner not for qualities they can do themselves.

[Asker]

What makes a woman not a loser then?

[Asker]

Being productive and working is a big part of who I am. What I’ve listed are traits that describe me. Maybe I’m meant to be alone then?

[sawno]

I don't think loser is the right term. Its just about compatibility, does she have what he looks for in a partner? Like for example if the guy wants to have children at some point, will she be a good mother? Does she have a great personality he can fall in love with. Is she caring and supportive? That kind of stuff.

[Asker]

I’m so confused what qualities can they do themselves?

[sawno]

Other really important one at least for me, can she hold a meaningful conversation? Because otherwise i'd get super bored very quickly.

[Asker]

I don’t want children. Only idiots breed in this day and age. My personality is okay. I’m not overly loving unless I find them very attractive I become obsessed and like my alone time. I am thoughtful through and honest.

[Asker]

I didn’t think men actually want to have conversation would women lol. I don’t know I if the person of interesting then I can have conversations. This isn’t specific to women only

[sawno]

Its why compatibility is key more so than your day job, anyone who does want kids your not compatible with. Guys who hate the idea of kids and would rather not you are compatible with. Th loving part is a bit hard to judge, but if you come across cold a guy has to be in to that / not turned off by that. Everyone just has their kind of match that works well for them, and unfortunately for some like me that match is rare.

[Asker]

I guess I’ll die alone then there’s literally no point to dating anymore

[sawno]

Thats not what I said, I'm sure there is someone out for you. I'm just saying its hard to gauge from the post.

[Berethor]

I think you doing fine career-wise, being alone is not great, but virgins are valued by men.

https://allthetropes.org/wiki/Nature_Adores_a_Virgin

[Asker]

What’s wrong with being alone?

[Asker]

Because I’ve always been alone I’m 25 now

[Berethor]

Most people don't feel good when they are alone, humans are social creatures. :)

https://allthetropes.org/wiki/Loners_Are_Freaks

[Asker]

I feel okay. I don’t want to connect with people

[Berethor]

Well if you want to be alone it your choice, so no the power of friendship for you. :)

allthetropes.org/wiki/The_Power_of_Friendship

[Luckycharms12]

Why would you think you are a loser working good job hit you wanted. personal life you can try and experience and explore now

[Asker]

Because I still live with my mum and dad. And I am a 25 year old virgin. I am not motivated to date anymore because men just try to use me.

[Luckycharms12]

You don't trust and over think a lot too not everyone is out to hurt you. Dating meant to be over time leads to something special

[Asker]

I really don’t believe that unfortunately I found dating to be disappointing and therefore a waste of time mostly

[Luckycharms12]

It's only a waste of time if you look at it that way . Id say those aren't my type. didn't' have common ground or want to go on a date again

[Asker]

What’s the point of being in a relationship anyway? And why am I seen as a loser if I’m not in one and never have been in one?

[Luckycharms12]

No one is a loser if not in one it isn't a big deal. It's nice to have someone who cares about you . There for good and bad times make you feel special sexy, and loved

[Theodoricus]

You're not user. You're an intelligent lady. But I suggest you wait for the right man find you.

[Theodoricus]

You're not loser*