21, never been in a relationship?

[Anonymous]

I want you all to answer this truthfully.

I am 21 years old and have never really dated a girl. I had a girlfriend when I was 11, but it was only for a month and we never even held hands. I asked out girls throughout middle school and high school and always got the "just friends" answer. I didn't even talk to many girls growing up, except a few friends who always told me things like "You'll make some lucky girl happy one of these days" (I really hate that btw). Due to the fear of rejection I developed during high school, I've never even asked a girl out since I graduated.

Now I fear that I've waited too long and that most women will be completely turned off by my lack of dating experience at my age and experience with the opposite sex in general. I fear that even if I do find a woman, I won't be able to make the relationship last due to my lack of relationship experience.

Do you think it's better to hide my "relationship record" or not? Will a woman be able to tell that I have no experience by the way I act during the relationship? Or is it better to let them know I've never dated a girl? Do girls think it's cute to have an "unmolded" guy or something? Do I really stand a chance?

Updates

+1 y

Thanks for the answers. I feel a little bit better about my chances now. I hope to hear from more girls.

[jenchos]

It's not a bad thing that you haven't dated, honest. Don't be ashamed. It actually may be a benefit in that you haven't dated anyone, that you haven't formed an idea of what a relationship is supposed to be like and following that ideal instead of tailoring the situation individually. For example, my first boyfriend moved really fast in what we did, so now that is how I think a relationship should go. The fact that you don't have that built in assumption will help you when you do (notice I said "do" and not "if") find a girl that you like.

Relationship experience isn't necessary, because part of the fun of a relationship is growing up and learning things about yourself with your partner. Some girls love the idea of leading and showing their boyfriends what to do, though usually these girls are fairly confident and strong-minded. Once again, it really depends on the person and situation.

I apologize if this isn't clear, because I'm not awake at the moment. But I hope my ramblings answered some/parts of of your questions and made you feel a little better.

[Lonelywolf21]

Hmm, I couldn't agree more with you. Though I have to say it's hard to pursue it and make the first step. I think that's the hardest step, but if you come through it, then it will give you something you have never experienced before. .)

[Gianni]

I don't know why I think this but it sounds kinda sweet...maybe sweet isn't the right word. I think it's better that you are honest with whomever you decided to pursue that you haven't been around the block that often...not every female looks at that as pathetic...some of us think it's a little bit cute. A woman only feels the inexperience in a man when he has no confidence. You may not have been in a relationship before but if you have enough confidence in your self and what you have to offer the young lady and the relationship.

[Lonelywolf21]

To be honest I am almost in the same shoes as you. I am almost 21 and have never been in a relationship. i have never had any crush on any girls (expect a little one when i was in the middle school) up to recently. That I am inexperience with relationship and the lack of experience scares the shit out of me, but I am always positive about when I think how I should proceed to make something with my crush. I think it's important for anyone to be a optimistic when it comes to a relationship. True, you miss the experience, but I think the girl you are with can help you through this.

And if you are a virgin that would just be a plus. Because then, I think, she will believe she mean something special to you since you have waited for so long, and that she is your first.

[frustratedchump06]

I feel you, I'm 22 and never had a girlfriend, always been single, love comes to girls while us guys have to fight tooth and nail for it

[Anonymous]

I know exactly what you talking about you aren't the only one in the zip,zero,zilch party there's more of us then you think I can think of 3 other guys I know who fall in this with you. As for as will they know with out you telling them possible it just depends on how well you can play it cool.