How do I get respect off my male colleagues without being seen as a bitch?

Question

I work my arse off and come to work pretty much everyday for the last 3 years and I'm always kind and respectful towards everyone but I learnt very early on in my adult life but being kind gets you know were especially as a woman in the working well but I don't have it in my heart to be a mean person and I hate conflict.

I went for plenty of promotions at my work and was lied to and mislead multiple times being told I'd got the job then to later find out month's later but they decided to give it to a mangers son or something like that because he studied a unrelated subject at uni and my 8 years experience in the industry can't compete with a music degree in a warehouse mangerment position.

I soon decided to give up on any promotions and just be happy were I was at but I still hold a lot of resentment. I was encouraged to become a union representative at my work and after a lot of thought I went for it because I really hate how myself and other colleagues are treated at the company and wanted to make changes for the better but so far I've gotten us a new water cooler that broke after a week and now they can't be bothered to replace it but hey who needs cold water to stay hydrated in the hot summer months.

Whenever I try and work with male managers to help my colleagues I just get spoken down to like I'm a stupid little girl and told its not my concern or when I stick up for myself I'm being a child. If I stick up for myself or anyone else does we get blacklisted and chased out and made out to be the toxic ones and the mangers hold all the power so there's not much we can do to fight back when they are disrespectful.

I had one manger go on my FB and correct my petty grammar mistakes in the comments but if I dare say anything to HR they are more than likely to protect him and make me out to be a drama queen.

Updates

8 mo

I've looked at leaving and finding another but my work is one of the biggest employers in my area let alone the country and it's good money too compared to other places. I've looked a lot online but there's nothing decent out there.

Telekinetic-Potato · Accepted Answer

This is a great question.

As a woman you have certain superpowers in the workplace and while it's good to be cautious about using them that doesn't mean you're automatically a bitch for using them.

Anywhere you work, man or woman, you need to constantly zoom out, what is the big picture? What does the company want, what do my coworkers want, what do my employers want etc.

Then ask what is getting in the way of these people and how can I strategically align as many people as possible towards getting what they want.

It sounds hard and it is hard but here's the thing, a woman has certain strengths that come naturally to them which do not come naturally to men. I'm sure you can figure out that part.

If you use your bitchyness on people who are unproductive, bullies, working against everyone's interests etc. You'll gain a reputation as a "killer" meaning you ruthlessly achieve things. Which is a reputation that leads to getting promoted.

But it's going to start with building personal relationships with people who can help you. Which from the sound of your situation there's two main ways you could go about that if you want to hear more.

MisterWack · Accepted Answer

“I work my arse off and come to work pretty much everyday for the last 3 years and I'm always kind and respectful towards everyone but I learnt very early on in my adult life but being kind gets you know were especially as a woman in the working well but I don't have it in my heart to be a mean person and I hate conflict.”

Yeah I mean if I were your colleagues I’d be proud of you, respect you, and admire your hard work ethic from time to time. That is great that you do your job well, don’t go to conflict, and remain kind in the face of difficulty. I’d be honored to work with you.

Just know that, ‘being kind & nice & not causing conflict’ isn’t just a woman thing because as a man I do the same also would be treated as crap / not admired among my peers so, I get that. You’re unappreciated in your time, you want a pat on the back, and at least some gesture of respect and frankly you deserve it. Maybe you should compliment their hard work and they’ll open up about their true feelings towards your hard working capabilities? Couldn’t hurt.

DishLady · Accepted Answer

You have to be ready to be called a b even if you're not one. Welcome to the club.

andreasderjuengere · Answer

Haven't read all your text.

Just this: Don't BE a bitch and you will not be seen as one :)

Plus: learn to not give a fuck - it's your own life; your own 'career'.

If your performance isn't appreciated today, it will be appreciated some time later... and perhaps somewhere else.

BetaBucks · Answer

Work hard, be vocal about advancement, don't be annoying, make your boss look successful. Do that and you'll advance. Also, your boss should feel like you lighten their burden, not add to it.

NathanDavis · Answer

just don't seek it... do your job, do it well

soe11 · Answer

You should study about him. To Knaw his personality. To know what he like from you.

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

Just work hard and it will happen and don't date anybody from you job if you do you'll never get any respect

How do I get respect off my male colleagues without being seen as a bitch?

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