How do I get this creepy old co worker to leave me alone?

[Puppystarfish23]

I've been working with this man for over 2 years. I remember when I first met him I thought he was a idiot. I tried to prevent him from making a mistake at work and he ignored me and was very rude. I remember saying he wouldn't pass probation and that he was stupid.

For context I work in a very large busy warehouse with hundreds of staff so you don't always see the same staff everyday.

Somehow he managed to pass his probation and he ended up getting the same rota as me which only has 3 other people on so now I see him everyday.

I decided I'd be nice to him and we started with mainly just small talk by the clocking in machines.

2 years on I'm one of the only people who talks to him at work because everyone else can't stand him. I didn't understand why to begin with but I'm slowly realising he just complains a lot, is rude, entitled and lazy. He has no one at home and doesn't talk to any of his family due to a falling out.

I didn't really realise it till someone made a joke about him being my work husband but a lot of people have said his behaviour around me makes them uncomfortable and that he's abit creepy around me.

As soon as people told me this it really opened my eyes. He's always asking why I'm talking to someone and what I'm talking about. Acts jealous when I talk to younger men and accuses them of having a crush on me. Follows me home and talks to me. Wants me to know were I'm at all the time. I can't walk past him without him stopping to talk to me.

Tells me all about his personal life, tries to make fun out of me, listens in to my private conversations with others etc.

I'm also a union rep at work and I was having a private conversation and he was listening in. He's not a union member so any union issues I can not speak to him about and I've been told by my boss to tell him still a lot of times. He got the wrong end of stick whilst earwigging and wanting to get info off of me I told him I couldn't tell him and he got really nasty.

Updates

6 mo

Now I've lead him to believe without actually saying what he thought he overheard was ture and he's gone spreading it around the warehouse. I said it's no one else's fault but his own if he's made to look a idiot he shouldn't be listening into private conversations

[Oliverlogan263]

Omg girl, that is so creepy and inappropriate of him! I would feel completely weirded out and uncomfortable too. He's totally crossing boundaries by always following you around, being jealous and controlling of who you talk to, and earwigging on your private conversations.

That kind of clingy, possessive behavior is a major red flag. Him not having friends or a social life at home does not mean you have to be at his constant disposal. You need to set some firm boundaries with him fast!

I would be direct but professional the next time he tries to intercept you at work. Say something like "Ken, I've realized our friendly interactions at work have started to blur certain professional lines. While I want our workplace to be respectful, your hovering is distracting me from my duties. Please only discuss work matters with me and allow me space."

If he keeps it up then report him to HR or your boss. You shouldn't have to feel trapped or spied on. Make it clear you won't tolerate controlling behavior from anyone. Don't feel bad about standing up for yourself - you deserve to feel safe and comfortable at your job! Let me know if things don't improve, you've got this!

[RHK36]

I keep it real with everyone especially at work. Just tell him you don't appreciate how he is and limit your interaction with him unless it's for work. No one else is talking him so why are you. Basically don't and mind your own.

[AI Opinion]

It's important to establish boundaries. Clearly and calmly communicate that you need space, both at work and outside. Limit personal conversations and avoid sharing personal information. If he continues to invade your privacy or makes you uncomfortable, document incidents and report them to your HR department or manager. As a union rep, you also have a responsibility to ensure a respectful and safe work environment, so do not hesitate to seek support from colleagues or the union if needed. Your well-being is a priority, and taking these steps can help you regain control.

[Intheclouds00]

Be loud about it in front of people. Only takes one time and problem solved

[Ariesman81]

Sleep with him... then he'll leave you alone🤣

[Danny_dan92]

Get HR involved