Why won't my former boss leave me alone?

[Anonymous]

So i left my team finally (it was apit of snakes but somehow they all deserve each other) what sucks is my former boss is blocking my growth within the Co, i haven't told anyone he used to oppress me while in personal meetings and intentionally stare at my breasts ( he was a total jerk ) but why make it hard for me if i haven't told anyone. Why won't he just leave me alone, i went for 2 interviews and had bad references from what they said. I just want to forget this last one year with him and grow within the company but he has made it so hard..

[immjusttmee]

Oh, that sucks. I think you have two options. The first is to personally have a serious conversation with him so you guys could resolve your issues. The second is to get a different job, and not include your previous job in your resume. But if you want to grow in that company, you could either resolve your problems with your boss or if that doesn't work, you could report on him

[abundantlyrich]

Is this a re occurring theme in your life? people blocking your growth?

[Asker]

nope first time it's happening

[abundantlyrich]

You shouldn't feel sympathy for bullies.. They'll either knife you behind or you start showing them your dagger. It seems too late now to change what has happened.

[Asker]

it may not be too late, i have proof he was doing it and if he doesn't stop i will share it with his boss if it's the last thing i do. I dont want to do it but if this last interview fails then we are both screwed?

[abundantlyrich]

You got nothing to lose.

[Asker]

I dont think i would do it honestly :/ i hate him but i dont think i have the guts to tell his boss what he was doing am just not that kind of person... he'll get what's coming to him one day

[abundantlyrich]

hmm ok.

[Yc2K15]

You can not agree to be a reference for someone and give them a bad reference, that is illegal and you can take him to court. Tell him to fuck off or just do what other girls do and say he sexually harasses you...(don't do that)

[Asker]

his a jerk and bad man but am not going to report him coz i dont believe in ruining people's lives ( i was willing to ignore the oppression provided he didn't hurt me ) or just all together avoid one on one meetings with him, who looks at an intern's breasts with out hiding it? biggest ass i've met

[Yc2K15]

Well you have a mutual ground. Confront him and ask him if he gave you bad references. You are a woman and the biggest problem with women is they don't stand up for themselves, Instead women gather in groups and whinge. Be strong and be blunt, don't be rude and don't cry, don't let him walk on you and do what feels right. Women can't change men by yelling either... try outsmart him or out nice him or what ever suits you at the time.

[Asker]

My friends dont know he was doing this to me, i was a shamed telling anyone and am also abit shy but you are right women need to be alittle more direct

[Yc2K15]

Yeah I didn't mean to put it like that, I just think more women should voice themselves, but make sure you are right. If you are being sexually harassed in any form you should speak up, but make sure you aren't lying or most importantly don't wear provocative clothes to work. I know women say they like to look and feel good, but try wearing a suit every single day.

[Asker]

did i mention that am shy? I dont wear anything provocative, am also a virgin so am not comfortable showing my body off

[Yc2K15]

No but you seem to be mentioning a lot of random things. Im sorry but I can't help you... Its confusing and I can't figure out if you even work with him or not. You either feel threatened or you don't. You can't ask a question and sit here and make excuses. Its all you can do or just leave the job, I guess thats all I can think of anyway.

[Asker]

thanks for your feedback

[I_am_repulsive]

That is unfortunate.. I hope it all works out for you

[Asker]

am scared, his powerful within the company.. my internship just ended and am not sure what i can do

[Theguyoverthere]

Does your job have an HR dept? If so I would talk to them and let them know what is happening.

[Asker]

i was an intern and am not the type of person that would intentionally report him to HR he has a family to feed maybe my heart is too soft but i wish he would just leave me alone.

[Theguyoverthere]

I'm gonna recommend it for your sake. If he isn't considerate enough to you then you shouldn't be to him.