Was this comment inappropriate made by my midwife?

[Anonymous]

She clearly stated that my baby's gonna be really cute because of my ethnicity and the dad's ethnicity.

It made me uncomfortable almost like she was evaluating his heritage before his even born. Is it a compliment or deeper? I have a serious ongoing mental illness which I'm medicated for but I just find it weird like she said something abit off, all baby's are cute regardless of their ethnicity. What makes my baby extra cute?

Thank you, kind and serious responses only please so I can report it if she said something weird.

[genericname85]

i do think that is a sort of inappropriate and definitely an unprofessional thing to say. like i understand how you could say such things around people that know you but you can't do that with a customer. they can't know you're not some sort of racist weirdo. so yeah. i think your feelings are valid. at the same time i also think that she had no ill intentions so it's most likely completely harmless but it was definitely unprofessional. i think the best thing you could do is tell her how it made you feel in a non aggressive and constructive way, so she can act more professional around customers.

[genericname85]

to help you a little see what she said in a positive light, this is how she probably meant it: highlighting someone cause of their race doesn't degrade all the other races. it doesn't take away anything from the compliment. you're still saying they're cute. you're not saying that "it's their race that makes them cute" or "other races are less cute". just saying that their race had probably something to do with the features you're describing which is purely descriptive and not judgmental.

[genericname85]

but yeah as a professional you should know these things can be mistaken so you should be able to avoid that.

[AngryCarl2]

If you were offended you should probably report her. Otherwise what's the point in being offended?

[Asker]

I just wanted to clarify what others thought firstly as I didn't want to over react about it. That's all. I think I'll give her the benefit of the doubt. Although if she makes comments like that again in the future then I'll say something bout it.
👍

[AngryCarl2]

Well in my PERSONAL opinion I find the comment weird but not necessarily offensive. Some people are just too dumb to know when they're being racist.

[AvaRay]

I totally get why that made u feel uncomfortable..

Saying your baby will be really cute cause of your and the dad’s ethnicity can come off as inappropriate, it reduces a person to their heritage rather than seeing them as an individual..

Even if it was meant as a compliment, it’s normal to feel uneasy..

All babies are cute on their own, n it’s valid to report this if it felt off or unprofessional.. ☹️

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

If it made you uncomfortable, you can find a new midwife. But I don’t see the comment itself as inappropriate.

[Asker]

Yes, our baby's healthy that's all that matters. Looks don't matter to us but obviously they do to her. Id prefer if she focused on the pregnancy rather than on my baby's appearance but that's just my opinion. I hope she means well, I also hope she's not stereotyping my schizophrenia which I've been medicated for years for along with my child being even more precious than other babies because he's totally fine and she's obviously overthinking. I think that's why she was chucking out odd comments and I was picking up on the subtle clues that she was stereotyping me and then trying to say my baby's gonna be extra cute maybe because she thinks he needs extra care because of this. I think I should take in my baby's father next time to see what he thinks and so she stops worrying about my child so much when I've done nothing wrong but have a mental illness that isn't my fault. So yeah 👍

[Nikki1989]

Inappropriate and unprofessional indeed.

[Anonymous]

why would it be inappropriate? there's nothing to be offended over this

[Asker]

it's not professional at all in my opinion it's irrelevant to a healthcare assessment especially me having schizophrenia and then her saying my baby's gonna be extra cute because of his indigenous background and the father's islander background is weird to me I don't know. Like she's evaluating my child in her head already. Making comments on his cultural background. She didn't say your baby's gonna be cute she clearly stated because of his culture. My mum said it made her even feel uncomfortable. But if you don't think it's weird then I don't know sir kindly

[Opinion Owner]

I still don't see this as something to be offended over

[Asker]

Okayyy it's a weird ass compliment but I'll accept it then

[Asker]

She's saying the baby's going to be extra cute based on the dad he has black skin. Every baby is gorgeous regardless but my baby's going to be extraaaaaa cute. She's obviously being weird there

[Opinion Owner]

unfortunately not every baby lives to be called cute

[Asker]

Exactly