Do I have the right to be angry at my friend for making excuses to not join us?

[Anonymous]

Now I understand people have to work in all and things happen but at least come out and have some fun. We asked our friend if she was planning to go to the event but she said she may not make it because she has things to do. I asked her when will she think she will be done? She didn’t answer back right away. I think she making an excuse to not go. I know she works full time and has a lot of homework but homework should not be the only excuse to not do anything. She can stop take a break and come with us, then she can come back to her work. It’s that simple. It’s from 2:00-3:30. She can make it. She’s lying to us!

She said she has a lot of homework to work on. I rolled my eyes and said, “Oh come on! That’s it? You could have worked on it parts at a time so you would have so much on the weekends. Life a damn little!”

She said, “Girl I work, five days a week 40 hours a week. There’s a lot of reading, writing and studying. You try working full time and going to school online.”
Should she go or not?

[Orion84]

Whether she wants to go, or not, is entirely up to her.

She may well be telling the truth; she could very easily be too busy to go. If that's the case, she is setting her priorities as to what she considers to be the best use of her time. She has obligations that need to be taken care of. Those are perfectly valid reasons. Being an adult means sometimes you have to do things you need to do.

Even if she is lying, that's her prerogative; she may just not want to go, and there's nothing wrong with that, either. She's free to determine how she wants to spend her time.

You are being selfish; you're only considering your desires, over her own. If she truly does have things to do, then she's making the correct choice by tending to her adult obligations.

[Asker]

I mean I don’t want her to fall behind on her school work and I understand she’s exhausted from school but she can make time

[Orion84]

Maybe she can, under ordinary circumstances, but it's possible this is just a particularly bad week for her. Schoolwork can vary, and she may just legitimately be overwhelmed right now.

If she continues to blow you off, then I think you'd have a reason to be concerned, but maybe give her the benefit of the doubt this time?

[Asker]

I understand but the event is ONLY an hour in a half. She can make time. She is just using homework as an excuse

[Orion84]

You mentioned in another reply that she is probably exhausted. Would you want to go out when you're about ready to drop from exhaustion? That would be torture.

You're essentially asking for her to torture herself for 90 minutes, for your enjoyment. Let the poor girl get her work done, so she can get some rest.

[Asker]

Homework is a lousy excuse

[Orion84]

You admit that she is exhausted, and that you don't want her to fall behind on her schoolwork, which suggests you do understand those are valid reasons.

You just don't like that you're being inconvenienced by her not being able to attend. That is textbook selfishness. Some "friend" you are. 🙄

[Asker]

I am not speaking to you anymore

[Asker]

Sorry I meant to say I’m not speaking to her anymore

[ChicoFromThe305]

I think you should worry more about why your friend feels the need to make up excuses to tell you no, usually what I expect from people when they aren't very understanding, the fact that you get angry cause they don't wanna hang out is why you are being lied too rather than being told the truth, if she has things to do she should prioritize that, having fun is a bitter sweet time when you have responsibilities to deal with, let her deal with them first if she isn't lying and if she is lying let her be lol

[Asker]

She isn’t lying. I understand she has school work to do and she works full time. She has to be exhausted. She can make time and she can go back to working on it

[ChicoFromThe305]

Maybe she likes using her free time to actually rest, valid lol

[Asker]

I understand but she CAN MAKE TIME! The event is only an hour and a jalf

[ChicoFromThe305]

An hour of sleep can get you a long way lol

[Asker]

Im not speaking to her anymore.

[ChicoFromThe305]

You gonna be petty like that? Lol

[Asker]

Well if she can’t make time for us and uses homework as an excuse, why should I be friends with her?

[ChicoFromThe305]

Cause there's more to life than just going out with friends, instead of cutting her off just accept she doesn't want to go out this time and ask her next time

[AI Opinion]

You have the *right* to feel anything, including anger. But in my experience, this isn’t really about rights—it’s about expectations and respect.

Your friend is telling you she’s exhausted and overloaded. Working 40 hours and studying is genuinely draining. For some people, a 90‑minute event feels like “too much,” not a break.

Where this went wrong is you dismissing her reason and pushing (“Life a damn little!”). That likely hurt.

I’d apologize for that, tell her you miss her, and invite her in a low‑pressure way next time. Let her decide how to manage her energy.

[DryGermanGuy]

What is her height and weight?

[Asker]

What does that have to do with the question I’m asking

[Jeff51]

Maybe she was swamped. Who knows.

[Asker]

I mean I understand but she can make time for us! Homework is no excuse

[Jeff51]

Did you ask? Maybe she didn't feel good.

[Asker]

I did ask. She said she has homework to work on. Talk about lame excuses