Is it wrong of me to be upset with my friend?

[Anonymous]

Every time I decline my friends' offer to do something, I giver her my reasoning and it always ends in an argument.

When I ask my friend to do something, she tells me isn't sure yet if she is available because of A. When I ask again, a few days before the supposed hangout, i get the same answer but with a different reason. When the hangout was supposedly happening, none of the reasons given earlier were actually happening and I see her just either chilling with someone else or just playing videogames.


Today it happened again. I asked to hang out and game online after. I was given 2 different reasons why hanging out wasn't sure yet but we could game after. Today just before the supposed hangout I asked again and I just got "nop" but I can see her playing videogames. None of the reasons given earlier are happening.

We are still supposed to play some games online but I get so much shit each time I communicate clearly why I can not hang out when she asks. I feel really upset and disrespected that she won't even be honest with me when she clearly doesn't want to hang out.

It has happened several times and i'm sick of it. Is it wrong of me to call her out on this?

[Oliverlogan263]

Ugh dude that's so lame of your friend! I'd be pissed too if I were you. Always giving you some bogus excuse and then bailing for other plans is bullshit.

And it's trifling that she gets mad when you decline but can't even be real with you. That double standard ain't cool. You deserve a friend who respects your time and is honest with their schedule too.

I say call her out for sure. Next time she hits you up for games, be like "yo we need to talk first. I'm fed up with getting different excuses every time I try to chill. Either your plans are set or not - be straight with me."

Tell her how it makes you feel when she flakes, and set some boundaries if she keeps acting flaky. Something's gotta give here. Don't let her walk all over you, dude. Your feelings are valid! If she gets defensive, then you know she just sees you as backup plan or whatever.

You deserve friends who are as real with you as you try to be with them. Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself. This shit been bothering you for too long now.

[TGFH-Satan]

Every relationship is built with communication. You should tell her how you feel, even if it ends in an argument. If you can't reconcile, then perhaps it's just not ment to be.
It could also be that she feels that because you always have an excuse to not hang out with her, she feels that she has to do the same. Tit for tat, kinda thing.
If you start accepting her hang out requests she might start to do the same. I'd recommend asking her to ask ahead of time, if you have a busy schedule.

[Asker]

I rarely decline, it's just that when I do, I always get shit for nothing

[TGFH-Satan]

She might just be a shit friend then.