Is my dental office manager being fair about my sick days and hours?

[Anonymous]

My office manager pulled me into her office today to tell me that I call in sick too much. At my office, we don’t get any paid sick days, I am a newer graduate paying off my debt. Therefore, I do try to work as much as I can. I’m working in the healthcare field as a dental hygienist; I work in very close proximity to the public, and I’ve been getting uncontrollably sick frequently in my role. The sickness’ are to the point I’ve been hospitalized or bed ridden. My office manager told me she does not want to give me more hours as she doesn’t feel like finding me constant replacements. I can understand where she’s coming from with the inconvenience of it. But this conversation has made me feel like an extremely crappy employee, despite that I know I put in 110% effort. Again, I’ve just been so unfortunate to get extremely ill in this career — healthcare. The thing that doesn’t sit right with me is that she encourages employees to come in sick. She recommended I place cotton rolls in my nose to prevent it from running while working and basically to just suck it up when I get really sick. I went over my absences independently as she never shared exact numbers with me. But I was absent 11 days last year in 2025 total. But I would pick up extra shifts and cover for other employees when they were sick. This year, I unfortunately had an emergency appendix removal and my surgeon gave a drs note for 10 days off. Again, I pick up several shifts for my coworkers when they’re sick, or on holidays. It’s only the odd time too that my manager has not been able to find replacements for me when I call in. My question is, do you think my office manager is being fair? Unprofessional? Valid? I’ve just never had an employer discuss this with me before. I also am not sure what else I can do.. I can’t help being sick. Would you as a patient want your dental hygienist to work on your teeth, be in close proximity to you when they’re sick?

[AI Opinion]

Advisor Smith here.

She’s being *operationally* rational but *professionally* wrong in a few key ways:

- Expecting you to work sick (cotton rolls in your nose) is unprofessional and unsafe for patients and staff.
- Discussing attendance is fair, but she should use clear data, focus on patterns, and separate genuine illness from reliability issues.
- Ten days after surgery plus serious illnesses is not abuse; it’s health.

What I’d do:
1. Document illnesses, notes, and extra shifts you cover.
2. Calmly request a follow‑up: acknowledge impact, explain medical situation, emphasize reliability when healthy.
3. Quietly explore other offices with better sick‑leave culture; healthcare settings that pressure staff to work sick are red flags.

[Chazmatazz269]

Increase your daily intake of zinc and vitamin C, and make sure you drink plenty of water. Of course, wash your hands frequently and thoroughly, and maybe wear a mask at work. You can also try Zicam. There are multiple forms, and i find it very effective. There are other supplements that are reported to help with immune system function. I also use elderberry supplements.
Your boss has a right to expect you for all of your scheduled shifts, but it’s absolutely bananas that any healthcare provider doesn’t offer sick time. I can kinda see them expecting you to take your chances, because you’re getting paid. But to expect you to show up when you are actively exhibiting symptoms and likely to infect customers and patients is legitimately insane. Dat b*tch be crazy!
If you can’t get control over your immune system response to infection, you might need to find an office with smarter sick leave policies, or leave the field entirely. Can’t work in healthcare and be knowingly making people sick! That’s Big Pharma’s job. 😂😂😂

[Asker]

Thank you for this response!

[FreyaRed]

Pssst... I'm a dentist and have ever seen a dental hygienist or helper who is older than 35?
Think about that what happens with them when they hit this magical wall. They don't turn in MD, like on most other professions where the more experience you have to higher your rank is. For MD you need expensive study and much more difficult to get a good internship.

My advice, make a MD if you can. If not, look for another profession where you aren't just good looking and smelling decoration.

[Asker]

That’s very true. I have been trying to decide on just leaving the profession as a whole. It’s toxic in other ways anyway

[FreyaRed]

Those professions are dominated by women and clinics have a ton of young girls who want a comfy job, this makes competition hard.
Make a nurse with surgery assistant specialization, this is money printing machine without a MD or dental prosthetic fabricator.

[DeeDeeDeVour]

11 absences last year and 10 (so far) this year are not excessive.

Her suggestion to “come in sick” while actually being sick is a major red flag.

Her complaint about finding replacements is about you inconveniencing her, not about your performance.

Her decision to reduce your hours is not fair.

[Anonymous]

No they’re not but I’m guessing you’re American. I’ve been told that’s how it works over there. I’d just go in sick and when the patients question it I’d say, yes I’m sick but my boss says I have to work anyway. Fear not though, I have these cotton balls here so my snot won’t drip. My boss recommended them. I think the patients will be pissed, complain and leave bad reviews. You’ll probably be fired, because I assume that’s also how it works over there, but whatever. You can’t continue to work there anyway when they don’t give you any hours or your boss is an asshole who don’t understand you’re a human, not a robot, and that you shouldn’t come to work sick and risk infecting both patients and coworkers.

[Asker]

I am Canadian. You are right the patients can’t get mad at me, but with my boss for encouraging it.

[Anonymous]

She should fire you. That office should not have to put up with you. The employer owns the job, not you, and if you're not able to do it, for whatever reason, you shouldn't work there. If you were a valued long-time employee and you were having some difficulty with your health I could understand them working with you to help. But you sound like you only cause trouble for that office.

[Asker]

I cause trouble by having an infected appendix and needing time off after having surgery. You know what an odd thing to say. I’ve realized if the office is mad at me for not coming in when I can’t even walk, then I’d rather not work for a company like this one. Thanks anyways

[Nikki1989]

The math doesn't support her complaint. Yes, it is unfair.

[In_Trance]

You're wrong. You don't put in 110% effort by calling in sick.
Fix your shit

[Asker]

I do put in 110% effort. Especially while I am there, and by picking up countless shifts for other staff members. Showing up in Canadian snow storms while other people have called in feeling it unfit to drive. But what would do you suppose I do when I had my infected appendix, was rushed into emergency surgery and unable to walk after on my own or stand up on my own? Do I crawl into work? Belittling someone for not going into work with literal stab wounds after having surgery, getting an organ removed, is very low. Shows how you are as a person though. Thanks anyway!

[In_Trance]

Picking up extra shifts is overcompensation for your own shortcomings.
You are not a model employee. You can't even maintain consistency on the original agreed upon job offer, which was to work your scheduled shifts.
You are the problem.
If you are not physically able or capable of working your scheduled 40 hours, it does not matter what else you do.
You think you're doing the company a favor by picking up additional shifts however you fail to recognize the fact that the company had to overcompensate for the times that you're not there.
You pick upl shifts for personal gain; most likely it's a recovery attempt at hours and earnings that you missed out on.
That's not fair.
On that note, I don't know why you think it's about fairness. Nobody ever told you it was fair.

[RavVid]

I think unfair