WHAT ARE SOME OF YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL ATTACK MOVIES?
Alright, so you already know how I roll. Normally I’d talk about something freaky deaky but to avoid being censored for the 3rd time this week, I’m just gonna go PG-13 and mix it up with a little #BeastMode as we take a WALK INTO THE WILD and list some of our favorite movies!
MOVIES THAT MADE ME DO THE JUNGLE BOOGIE AND SCREAM PURRRFECT!! 💃🎶
As a kid, I really enjoyed the Jungle Book (animated), but it was more for the soundtrack. Now if we’re talking about a movie that gave action and a soundtrack then that would be Tarzan (animated). His slide and fight scenes were epic!! That is one sexyass humpbacked mf. Journey 2 wasn’t great but it definitely gave me the crazy animal chase scenes I was hoping for!
Jumanji (the original) will always be top-notch and the others just don’t even compare tbh. I’m sure most of you loved The Lion King but that shit scared me as a kid haha. I was more into the tamer The Lion King 2. Now I know Sabretooth looked cheap af but growing up watching the Syfy channel with my gramps, it was one of our faves. And lets not forget the Chronicles of Narnia. The first one was EPIC... I won’t say much about those sequels but I did not enjoy.
MOVIES THAT MADE ME SAY “WHAT A CATASTROPHE!!”
I personally was not a fan of The Jungle Book (live), Lion King (live), Legend of Tarzan (live), Jungle Cruise, Prey (lion film), Rogue (lion film), Life of Pi, Jumanji Welcome to the Jungle, and Jumanji The Next Level.
SO IS ANYONE GOING TO GO SEE THE NEW FILM BEAST? BECAUSE I LIKE REALLY WANNA SEE IT...
It stars Idris Elba and I can’t wait to see him beat the pssy up! Ya feel me!! 😩 I’m hoping I get to see it this week.Ironically, I’m afraid of animals, both big and small, especially cats and dogs. But I’ve loved action-packed movies like this since forever!
MOVIES THAT HAD ME SO HOOKED THAT I HAD TO TAKE THE BAIT
*cue the Jaws theme music* Believe it or not, I enjoyed Jaws The Revenge. I mean the old bag got on my nerves and I wanted the shark to devour her, but other than that I liked it. With The Shallows, I thought I’d get bored seeing a girl hangout on a rock with a bird but the action scenes came pretty quickly. And Deep Blue Sea was just epic! It took this many years for me to forgive Samuel L Jackson for being so shitty in that film because I absolutely couldn’t wait for the shark to eat his ass up! And the girl needed to die even sooner. But LL Cool J’s oven escape scene was everything haha and Thomas Jane will always be the perfect punisher to me.
Shark Night wasn’t the best but I loved seeing all the different types of sharks. In the Heart of the Sea is a whale of a time as Thor and Spiderman take on a big MobyDick! I don't know why I’m listing Snakehead Terror and Megashark vs Giant Octopus but they were different and I was a Syfy fan so I mean yea haha. Bait made sharks in the grocery store look like some serious fun! Plus I got all the Australian accents I needed. Finding Nemo is just an epic Pixar film. Coolio made Red Water funny and Lou Diamond Phillips made it hot but overall it was meh. Soul Surfer wasn’t exactly about sharks but that attack scene did me justice. I just hate its a true story.
MOVIES THAT MADE ME WANNA JUMP SHIP AND SANK
I was not really a fan of Piranha 3D/DD, Jaws, The Meg, Piranha, Sharknado, Open Water, Dark Tide,, 47 Meters Down, Ghost Shark, and Underwater.
MOVIES THAT MAKE ME REALIZE IT REALLY IS A DOG EAT DOG WORLD
Cujo, The Breed, and Bones scared the dogshit out of me as a kid! But the films were amazing nonetheless. Cats/Dogs was funny af. And for Mans Best Friend to be an old film, I really enjoyed it.
MOVIES THAT COULD BRING THE SHE WOLF OUT THE CLOSET
I really enjoyed the werewolf scenes of Goosebumps, An American Werewolf in Paris, Cursed, and Twilight New Moon. I mean Twilight was a pretty shitty series so seeing hot wolves was about the only reason to tune in and overlook how desperate Bella was. As for The Grey, I hate it ended the way it did. Shoot i wanted a sequel lol!
MOVIES THAT MADE ME REALIZE THERE IS A SNAKE IN THE GRASS SO DONTT TRUST A —
Thanks to the Syfy channel, I became well acquainted with these films as a kid— Anaconda, Anaconda Hunt for the Blood Orchid, Piranhaconda, Python, and Boa. I can watch Anaconda Hunt for the Blood Orchid repeatedly and never get tired. Johnny Messner gave me Thomas Jane in Deep Blue Sea all over again. But damn they did Morris Chestnut wrong lmao. I thought Snakes on a Plane was hilarious and action packed. When it came to Prince of Persia, I honestly don’t remember much about it but I know I loved the Snake attack scene haha.
MONKEY SEE, MONKEY DO, THESE MOVIES MADE ME GO BANANAS AND SO WILL YOU
I also enjoyed Planet of the Apes (2001) and Rise of the Planet of the Apes. The ones before 2001 and the ones after Rise were just a bit much and I hardly cared for em. Caesar needed to be caged and thrown off a cliff because he was on a power trip and got on my wham bam damn nerves. I’ll never stop talking about King Kong (2005). It is one of my absolute favorite movies, but its just too dang long. I often skip to when they meet the natives because the first hour of just watching them sail to the island was unnecessary af. No one cares about Anne and that crooked nose man. I’m just trying to see a gorilla go ham on the competition!
And I’m one of the few who didn’t care for Kong Skull Island nor Godzilla vs Kong. Great scenery but disappointing nonetheless. I don't know who else saw Mighty Joe Young (1998) as a kid, but Joe was a more tame Kong lol. And Charlize was straight gorgeous with the pixie cut. Rampage was everything I could’ve asked for! To finally get to see a wolf, croc, and gorilla all in one! Maaaan it was EVERYTHING. I mean the Rock played himself as usual but he wasn't really needed lol. And that intro race for Ready Player One was epic as well. But the movie itself was just... alright.
MOVIES THAT MADE ME SAY “SEE YA LATER ALLIGATOR, AFTER WHILE CROCODILE”
I can’t get enough of these croc and gator films. Crawl seriously amazed me! I did not think a hurricane could fck that much up haha. Lake Placid is a classic and its not as interesting now as it was during childhood but shoot I still like it. Blood Surf isn’t as memorable but I remember watching it a lot as a kid. Primeval is freeeeakin EPIC in my opinion. I loved the cast and the croc scenes. Rogue had its moments for sure.
MOVIES THAT HAD ME GO “YOLO! WHO’S FLYING SOLO?”
I got dog tired of The Birds, but its a cult classic. Roadkill was oddly interesting for a tv movie. And the bird scene in Resident Evil Extinction always breaks my heart. Why it had to be Ashanti yo?!
MOVIES THAT MADE ME WANNA HOP ON THE BANDWAGON AND PLAY A GAME OF DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS
These films had unforgettable dragons scenes in my opinion. Okay so yea Monster Hunter probably sucked in comparison to the game. Heck maybe it sucked in general, but I love Milla and will always show support! Plus the scenery was amazing and so were the fight scenes. Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire is my second fave in the series and I just loved everything about it, especially the dragon scene. And I know y'all remember Spirited Away!
I’m still new to films like LotR and The Hobbit, but Battle of the Five Armies really appealed to me. It was amazing. The Sorcerers Apprentice was just cool af and had an awesome soundtrack. Maleficent was one of the few movies that made me want to root for a villain. Enchanted had a helluva lot singing but I tuned in for the dragon ending haha. And Shang Chi Legend of the Ten Rings is truly everything and more. Even if you’re not a Marvel fan, its a total must see and didn’t feel like a Marvel film at all.
IN THE WORDS OF JJ EVANS, THESE MOVIES WERE “DYNO-MITE”
How can anyone hate the Jurassic Park films? I absolutely adored all three but I totally skipped the first hour of JP because I didn’t really care to see the dinos being created. I was just ready for one to break out and fck shit up!! The first Jurassic World was great as well. The second had its moments but was not all that great. The third had an awesome last hour but the first was blah. But who am i kiddin? I saw it on the day it came out and even bought the dvd as soon as it hit stores this week aha!!
Taking it back to the Syfy channel days, Dino Croc and Supergator were silly tv movies but oddly I liked em. Godzilla (1998) with Matt Brodgerick will forever be my fave. The only one even remotely close that I liked to it was Godzilla King of Monsters where he fights the three-headed dragon. But that girl’s mom was really ruining the shit for me. Land of the Lost was hella funny and Journey to the Center of the Earth was cool although I liked the sequel’s action scenes better.
OTHER RANDOM ASS MOVIE CREATURES AND FEATURES
Black Sheep and Without a Paddle were stupid silly lol! Love & Monsters could’ve been better but it had some good scenes. I couldn’t get into The Revenant but I enjoyed The Grizzly Maze and The Edge. Eight Legged Freaks of the week was funny. Slither is like my favorite horror comedy. As for the Alien and Predator films, I personally only enjoyed Alien vs Predator, AVP Requiem, Predators (with Adrien Brody), Alien Resurrection, and The Predator (with the lovely but can’t act for shit Olivia Munn). Oh yea and Monsters Inc was a great one but I think the adults enjoyed it more than the kids lol.
Welp, thats all folks! I’ve talked my ass off, your ears off and the animals probably fell asleep on me too. So just tell me below if I listed some of your fave films or what I might’ve forgotten.
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