Any opinions on my new music?

[IAMNathanael]

It's short, I know. But what else do you think?

https://youtu.be/F4yhMOw3o1Y

Updates

+1 y

Eh... I changed it. This videos getting taken down later today. Here is the revised versionhttps://youtu. be/6sbgLzajCFc

Updates

+1 y

https://youtu.be/6sbgLzajCFc

[dangerDoge]

[Note: I can be pretty blunt with music reviews, and these are my own opinions and will differ from me to another person, so read on at your own risk!]

I listened to it several times on my headphones (drop/koss esp/95x). If I had to summarize my viewpoint, it'd be that I thought it had several cool ideas and concepts, but I felt it was lacking some punch through the mix and composition to execute the ideas to the best of its potential. I'd rate it a 3.5/10, taking both mix and composition into account. If the mix was great as is, I'd bump it to a 5. If the changes I'm imagining were also added, I can see an 7.5 or 8 out of it. [I'm not saying a definite 9 or 10, because while I think the ideas are cool, it's tough to say that they would 'wow' me to that extent.]

To start off, I'll go over composition:
I quite liked the rhythm. It sounded like 5/8, right? It gave a unique feel, and the drum beat didn't seem so unique that it seemed random and non-groovy. I like the writing of the drum part you made. Giving off the slight hints of a sort of 6/8 but then chopping off the last beat. The beginning to around 20 seconds in worked well together. The drum part writing is my favorite part of your piece.

I feel like the oomph of the song starts getting lost in the verse section at 20 seconds or so. I attribute this to a couple of things: Your guitar seems to be stuck in a limbo here of not knowing whether to be a vocal line as a guitar or a guitar part. in my opinion, it feels too much like a vocal line and doesn't fill in the sound enough. If I were to change it, I'd do sustained arpeggiated 'tense'/'mysterious' chords and have a vocalist come in.

If you were determined on keeping it instrumental, I'd bring in a harmony guitar starting at 0:06, and then I'd bring in a bass to fill the sound out (introducing itself with a quick slide at 19 and then a pretty mellow groove at 0:20).

Honestly speaking, the guitar part composition felt kind of bland apart from the rhythm. What I was hoping for was more of a melody somewhere. It was lacking something that I feel I could hum, or something that was more varied across the note spectrum. Since it kept in the same sort of mid/mid low area, it dragged on somewhat. It felt like it was missing a lead, a counter melody, a chord based rhythm, or something. Speaking of which, I also feel like you're missing a bass desperately.

Your song could use more variation in dynamics in my opinion, spurred on also by instrumentation changes. @47 I feel like it should be dramatic, but it's falling more flat than it should simply because the one guitar is overburdened with trying to carry all the melodic instruments.

[dangerDoge]

Mix:

I'll be frank: The mix need work all around.
Drums:
==Snare: The snare seems dull. It could use more crack. It sounds like it only is audible due to the lack of instruments. Could use more room mic.
==Cymbals: Need much more panning. Really wish there was much more overhead mic to get a stereo feel, since it sounds very flat currently. Could use some EQ to give a bit more sparkle, but really that could be just the lack of overhead.
==Kick: Could maybe use a touch more definition. It sounds a bit dull, but I wish it was a little more punchy and I could hear the 'click' a tough more.

[dangerDoge]

Guitar:
==I would suggest either 1.) Double track to widen and fill out the sound, or 2.) Adding in rhythm guitars panned different ways doing chords to fill more of the frequency spectrum. Your mix sounds VERY empty right now, and I imagine that's because your instrumentation is (in my opinion) too sparse. If you don't want the chords to be focus, take them down. Putting filler instruments to make the mix larger is one of the not-so-secrets of famous mix engineers mixing bands with spare instrumentation.
==Your guitar is brittle sounding, like it was recorded off a phone. It's tinny enough where I'm hard distinguishing whether it's an acoustic or an electric. If it's a DI electric, I'd suggest reworking your signal chain (i. e. either your cab or amp is likely not doing you any favors right now). If it's an acoustic, the issue is either 1.) with your recording setup (i. e. room/mic placement), 2.) with your mic (i. e. like trying to record this off a phone speaker), or 3.) with your post processing (i. e. you had a good sound, and then wayyy over EQ'd it). Typically speaking, acoustic behaves in a way where it is either a piece of gold or a turd. If the recording sounds like a turd, it's very difficult if not impossible to polish to professional standards.

Overall: Your mix is very dry. It could more reverb processing to make it sound cohesive. It's also very panned center and could use more of the stereo space.

I'm sure there are plenty more things I could write/go into detail on, but I imagine that's enough for now lol

[IAMNathanael]

Hey man! Thanks for your honesty, it's much appreciated! I've gotta be honest though, I only know a minimal about mixing. Until I have a better knowledge of mixing I think my main concern will be the structure of the music. Melodies, harmonies, etc. Sometimes whether or not I include harmonies is if I was feeling lazy. Bad habit I know! Lol.

[IAMNathanael]

Actually I did record this on a phone! Pretty much the only equipment I have. As for the drums, I downloaded the individual kick, hihat, crash, snare, etc files from a website called freesound. Then I arranged them in my daw on my phone to make the beat. I know you've asked that before but I never got around to answering it. The time signature is in 5/4.

[IAMNathanael]

I basically make the music I do with the idea in mind that I'm the one who enjoys listening to it. And I still do! So the pace that I improve is my own pace. So, thanks again for the feedback and I'll try and make it useful! But before I can use some of it I first have to figure out what it even means.

[dangerDoge]

Oh I gotcha. I'm not sure where I answered your question before, but if you are looking for home studio help, I'd check out...
ehomerecordingstudio.com/.../
And then for mixing help...
www.youtube.com/user/MusicTechHelpGuy/playlists

Ahh yeah, recording things off a phone is going to severely limit you. There isn't much of anything decent off a phone / tablet except maybe something like Bias... except that's just a guitar sim/you need additional equipment / you still mix it into a desktop DAW. If you had a laptop/desktop, you're pretty much set with all the freeware out there, but if you don't have that... it's pretty rough recording or mixing anything.

As for the last reply-- I think that's great. I know I was pretty harsh in some respects with my criticism, but hopefully it helps a bit. If there are any questions about what I said, please let me know and I'll elaborate!

[Dinosaursandanime65]

Very good.

[IAMNathanael]

Thanks mate! And If I have sully's blessing that's all I ever needed in my life

[Dinosaursandanime65]

No problem bruddah, I gotchu.

[jshm2]

You need to get yourself a better mixer. The music should sound sharp, that sounds like something you played and recorded in your bathroom.