Fellow book worms/authors, Do you have any advice for writing a character of the opposite sex?

[libsaretards]

Opinions from aspiring female writers preferred but opinions from aspiring male writers are welcome as well.

I have been brainstorming a fantasy novel for over 10 years. I feel like I am ready to begin a serious effort in my writing and intend to get this story published someday. The main characters are a trio of triplets (1 boy and 2 girls).

However, my writer's block comes from trying to write a convincing female main character. I have almost no problems with female side characters, but for some reason the main ones give me trouble. Any advice?

[wheresmrcunnunglis]

You can always try to base their personalities off of women in your life that you know, actresses on tv that you like.

Reading articles centered around women about what we go through and experience e. g. daily insecurities, how we experience life, etc. Could help you decenter yourself and get you into the whole state of mind of, " what would it be like to be a woman." to help you create a well-rounded, authentic feeling female character. Since with side characters you can get away with them ( somewhat ) not having full-bodied personalities but for the main characters, it is crucial which may be why you're having such a trying time with it due to that unwritten expectation.

You could even go further by doing method acting but in the writers variation of it...' method thinking" ( yeah I just made that up, so what! 😋) where you try your best to decenter yourself and become the character you're trying to create and try too think about what emotions they would feel in certain situations that will present itself in the book you're writing, how they react to the personalities of the other characters already created, etc. If you do decide to go that route then it would probably serve you best to be prepared to be hyperfocused on trying to shell out a blueprint of their personality while doing the "method thinking" as the answers might flow through you then and there.

Wish you well and if I helped then your arse better give me a shout out in your book, ya hear!

[Anonymous]

I can introduce an amazing book to you that could be inspiring. The author writes about the teeny tinyiest details of the lives of several people from all ages and all genders and all walks of life. I am absolutely stunned at how she did it. It's called Cashelmara by Susan Howatch.
Country music lyrics are also creepily on spot about female behaviors.
You could listen to psychology and therapy recordings.
Stand up comedy, The Simpsons, etc. all have good points about fsmale thoughts and behaviors too.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

This is something I struggle with too. What I've figured out so far:

Writing a woman is not as different from writing a man as you might think. It's almost like if you're cooking two dishes the same, you're just gonna season the genders differently.

For example, let's say you want to do a story about someone saving up for a car.

Ask yourself how this situation is different from a guy to a girl. A guy might start off trying to psych himself out to get a job, maybe he's very excited maybe he's motivated by wanting to date women.

A woman, is going to be able to go through those same experiences, only the excuses and self defeating they come up with in their head to stop themselves will be different than what a guy might come up with.

A person might shoot for an easy job because she doesn't have confidence, or they know they can rely on their looks, or it avoids uncomfortable situations (like talking to people) these are all deceptively gender neutral things that will look different if a woman or man is experiencing them.

The man wants to look masculine and overcome seeming or being worthless

The woman wants to look feminine but overcome seeming or being incompetent

Sorry this wasn't written better, I'm drinking and gag'ing again

[Adam1978]

To write a female you must understand the difference in culture, since you write fantasy, you need to understand the difference in treatment between the genders in your world and their priorities. Its a lot of why questions. You either start with how you want her to be and set the settings to explain it, or start with a wanted settings and figure out how a female would navigate it.

[libsaretards]

I'm thinking of creating 3 scenario polls open to only women and asking them how they would handle the situation.

[Adam1978]

Wouldn't really help you, because they will answer from their cultures point of view and all females in the world doesn't share exactly the same culture, it's just the biology part that will be there. Since you write fantasy way to many parameters can have been shifted. Are they completely human or is some aspects different. How are they raised, what is the tribes belief system based on. What about the environment, how is that affecting life for them?

[libsaretards]

Good point.

[BCRanger10]

I don't think you should necessarily focus on writing a good female character as you should be with writing a good character who is a female. That means she has strengths, weaknesses and flaws, and motivations.

Here's a good video I saw recently that might be helpful though...

https://www.youtube.com/embed/ARgT2XmHN2E

[DarkCarousel]

Have you given your female characters a background yet? They need a backstory that can help you build their personalities. Could you base some of their features (facial responses, accent, mannerisms) on someone you already know?

[libsaretards]

I do have a background story and their looks fleshed out. I even have the general idea for how I want them to be. One is super feminine and afraid of many things but has a hidden power she know nothing about while the other is a tough (not necessarily tom boy) girl who puts on a tough exterior but always misjudges people and situations, gets in trouble for it and has a very confrontational personality. The problem I run into is trying to bring these traits out in these ladies, putting a twist in their personality and doing both of those without it sounding like a man writing a stereotypical woman.

[libsaretards]

Also one of the plot points involves the rougher woman always being pissed off at being rescued by the more girly-girl sister

[Anonymous]

We all have our biases as our own gender about the other, but if you write in that tone it often comes off as inauthentic. Based on your subject, spend some real time talking to women about your subject matter and get their perspective on things. Read literature by female authors about female characters and listen to their voices on the page. Sit in a coffee shop and listen to some conversations around you. Have a woman review what you have written to get her feedback on it.

[jennifer_bloom]

If you give her uncommon traits and hobbies and skills, nobody will blame you when you fail to deliver an intelligent and believable character because it will be totally uncharted terrain

[WhitneySnow]

Imagine yourself if you’d been born a girl. That’s what I start with when I write guy characters. Also feel free to borrow traits from your female friends.

[Texasgal95]

Talk to the people of opposite gender and get ideas that way

[StevieNix]

Watch the movie "As Good As It Gets."

Jack will explain it to you.

[Anpu23]

Have you read the "Robber Bride" by Margaret Atwood? Its a great study of female leads.

[jimmy2]

Well you have 2 girls and one boy so the 2 girls will try to make the boy a girl with his hair and playing in a dress then he grows up and he confused sexually and the 2 girls one ends up in prison and the other is beaten by her husband

[Dinosaursandanime65]

Don’t make every single female character a cumslut for the male mc

[libsaretards]

Lol I kinda figured that one out.

[Dinosaursandanime65]

Okay good, all these filthy casuals copying each other. Literally the only actual difference is the girls hair maybe

[maximumpower]

pattern the person after someone you know very well.
backstory and details are important.