Opinions on my new poem I call “ The elegance of her” ?

[smahala1991]

Like a delicate tulip growing in fertile ground

She soaks up knowledge, empathy, and kindness

She yearns to know more than what people want to teach her.

Graceful and kind, people adoring her porcelain like face and smile.

Warm like a cup of coffee with two sugars and milk added after brewing it on a cold winter day.

Though she is also fierce like a thunderstorm on a Midwest plain.

Determined and headstrong she can be anything and do anything her heart desires she can do.

Sensual and soothing like a gentle morning breeze in a lavender meadow.

Her prose and words soothe a weakened soul and a heavy heart.

Just as the sun rises in the east and sets in the west, her eyes capture the beauty of every sunrise and sunset.

In the twilight of her embrace, my soul is set free from the anxieties of a cruel, mechanicalized world.

Updates

1 y

In case anyone is wondering the “ her” is this poem is no one person but influenced by some female friends I have. So it’s like a universal “her”

[Sal_Monella]

Not intending to diminish your creativity, here is some of what 43 added years and millions of written words have given me.

She is a delicate blossom growing from fertile ground,

Taking up wisdom, caring, and kindness.

She hungers to know more than folk can teach her.

Gentle and kind, We adore her porcelain hue and smile.

Bold and Brisk like coffee, honey, cream and whisky on a snowy day.

She is a fierce thunderstorm on a Kansas plain.

Intent and unruly, she can be does whatever she pleases.

Seductive and gentle; a morning breeze in a lavender meadow.

Her troths nurture a weakened soul and a heavy heart.

With the pass of Daylight, her eyes reap its luster from sunrise to sunset.

In the twilight of her embrace, I am set free from the anxieties of a hard, robotic world.

Sheltered, but Stirred by Love.

[ProbablyClueless]

It's certainly a thoughtful and adoring piece to the women in your life.. but to be totally honest, I don't really... get it. Although, I will be the first to admit that I'm a total Philistine when it comes to poetry.

I think I understand what you're going for, but it seems like you tried the whole "Rupi Kaur" thing where you don't even have rhyme scheme or a beat, or structure. I think your poem would benefit a great deal from following a sonnet structure, or something. That free flowing element doesn't seem to benefit you here.

[AI Opinion]

Your poem beautifully captures the multifaceted nature of femininity, weaving vivid imagery with emotions. The metaphorical language, comparing her elegance to natural elements like tulips and thunderstorms, adds depth and complexity. 🌸 The contrast between warmth and fierceness highlights her strength, while the soothing prose evokes a sense of calm and reassurance. Its structure and lyrical flow create a vivid portrait, resonating with anyone who appreciates the intricate dance of grace and determination. Keep exploring this poetic journey! ✨

[Imsmurter1]

lovely poem! Really praising this girl in the poem

[strateguy632]

Very impressive!

[thegreenyogi]

Beautiful!

[Mulcair]

A very hot poem

[smahala1991]

Thank you but it’s not meant to be sexual in any way.

[Anonymous]

It's a very interesting poem.