What do you think of my poem?

[Inthecraphole]

Every day, I hang by a thread
As she is always there in my head.
As I lay there in my bed
I think of the words that were said.

There is a huge hole in my heart
I wish things were different from the start
She came into my life
but now she is gone
It is just so hard moving on.

I have dreams about about her as I sleep
When I wake, my pain is just so deep.
I try to shake her from my mind,
trying to leave those memories behind.

As she marries someone else
It is so hard to bare.
I feel like I am living a nightmare.

I need to stay strong
even though it feels so wrong.
In my heart, she will always remain
as I try to deal with all this pain.

He'll get to be her both her first and last
Something I wanted to be
As I think to myself
"Why couldn't this be me?"

I have to pick up the pieces
And move away
But she will always be there
In my memories, she will stay

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Updates

+1 y

Anyone? I put a lot of thought into it.

[sensible27]

It rhymes. This isn't meant in a rude way, but I think you're desperate and it pushes more people away sometimes. If someone you like doesn't like you it's possible that you don't understand them or they don't understand you..

[sensible27]

"tonight I can write the saddest lines"

[Inthecraphole]

Thanks. She was a special girl. She never even had a male friend before she met me. Now, some bastard gets to be her first everything and likely her last.

[Chris_Is_Buzzed]

It's a good poem, I just hope you know that she's gone, both physically and mentally.
I find that women just keep moving forward, they live in the moment. You're dwelling on something that's non-existent anymore.
It's super important for you to let her go and find a new woman.