Why can't I still quit gangsta rap music?

I am a white blonde guy in Europe. When i was a kid, i was bullied a lot. And got into gangsta rap. Loved rap music so much.

Later then, I improved myself. College degree, coding, scientific documentaries etc.

But rap music is still the number one genre for me. When i workout, or drink alcohol, or take a bus, headphones are still on my heads banging rap music. Old school gangsta especially.

Becoming a rapper was my biggest dream and i even produced lots of beats.

I know rap music wasted my time and life a lot when i was younger 10 to 25 years old. But at the age of 34, I still listen to rap so much. And cannot quit this habit. This is my passion.
Why can't I still quit gangsta rap music?
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