What’s your funniest joke of the day right now 😂?

[NoDecision]

Here is mine, what is yours? 😂

An old farmer writes to his son in prison: 'Dear son, this year I won't be able to plant potatoes because I can't dig the field by myself. I know if you were here you would help me! The son writes: Dad, don't even think of digging the field because that's where I buried the money I stole! The police read the letter and the next day the whole field is dug up by police looking for the money, but nothing is found. The following day the son writes again: Now plant your potatoes, Dad. It's the best I can do from here!

[MrChinaski]

Classic suburban family. Little girl in blonde ringlets. Signs off her prayers every night 'And God bless Mommy, Daddy, Grandma and Grandpa.' Parents tuck her in, give her a kiss on the forehead, life is perfect.

One night she signs off 'And God bless Mommy, Daddy, Grandma, and goodbye Grandpa'. The next day, sure enough, Grandpa has a heart attack. Everyone is terribly sad, no-one thinks any more of it.

A few months pass, girl is doing her routine, 'And God bless Mommy and Daddy, and goodbye Grandma'. Parents a little worried. The next day, Grandma gets hit by a bus crossing the street to get her newspaper. Everyone is very sad, and starting to look at the little girl oddly.

A few more months pass, girl is doing her routine, 'And God bless Mommy and goodbye Daddy'. Father freaks out. Tries to sleep and can't. Nothing but cold sweats. Goes into work super early. Finds an empty office. Hides under the desk, shaking and panicking all day, refuses to move or talk to anyone. Finally, the clock strikes midnight. Relieved, he shrugs, gets in his car and drives back home.

Mummy: Where have you been?

Daddy: Don't even start me with... I've had the most terrible day!!!

Mummy: You? I've had to cope with a dead milkman on the front porch all day.

[Finchie40]

A blonde was driving in a convertible on the country side , surrounded by farm land on a beautiful sunny day , wind blowing in her hair and enjoying the drive until she saw another blonde sitting in a canoe in the middle of a field trying to paddle. The blonde in the convertible stops the car and jumps out and yells at the blonde in the canoe and says YOU ARE THE REASON THERE ARE SO MANY BLONDE JOKES!!! IF I KNEW HOW TO SWIM I WOULD COME KICK YOUR ASS!!!

[queenofcardio]

It's more stupid than funny, I heard it the other day

You can't spell advertisements without semen between the tits.

[NathanDavis]

the Rick Astley Paradox...

[Iron_Man]

no joke today 😟😔

[NoDecision]

I would make some snarky comment but I won't. ... yet.

[Iron_Man]

I’m very depressed

[NoDecision]

Whatzup? 😕

[Iron_Man]

I lost 5 friends in 19 days and nothing is wrong with them. We’re just no longer friends. 😞

[NoDecision]

Did you hurt their feelings? I can't see that many friends unfriending you unless there is a good reason.

[Iron_Man]

One was a former neighbor that moved recently and he wanted to stay in touch with me, but he promised me that he would take care of his big sea grape. Tree in his yard that was growing into my yard over my roof and he never did and I brought that to his attention and I asked for the religious phone number that he stopped texting me the second one the guys got bipolar issues he’ll come back eventually the third one is a girl that’s on here that’s immature and so is the second one and then the number one is my best friend of five years but she does this a lot we’ll see if she comes back. That’s the story and thanks for your support.

[Iron_Man]

I mean, the realtor, those voice command error, and the message got sent by accident

[NoDecision]

Just give it some time. They will cool down and sheepishly come back.

[Iron_Man]

You’re a very nice girl. I’m glad you’re on the site. Thanks for your support. 😊

[Iron_Man]

Was that your profile picture or somebody else the one you have now?

[NoDecision]

It's me. I used an app to put in the background.

[Iron_Man]

You’ve always looked very beautiful 😊