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The First Time I Left Home: On Exchange Just Outside of Brussels

When I was 17 years old, I went on exchange to a small town outside of Brussels, Belgium.


The First Time I Moved Away From Home

As a French immersion student since the age of 8, it was always expected and encouraged that I go away to strengthen my understanding of the language in a country where French was more widely spoken than in my native country. Some of my friends whose parents could afford to send their children off to Europe for three months at a time had applied as well. Still, when the opportunity arose for me to join them at the end of the ninth grade, I declined. I wasn't ready to leave yet.



That summer, when the exchange students arrived from France and Belgium, I began to regret my initial decision. Here were some amazing girls that I felt privileged to get the opportunity to meet and interact with. I was jealous that I didn't have the same. I was sad that I had had the same chance and thrown it away out of fear.



So at the end of tenth grade, I submitted an application to International Students Exchange's Belgian program.



It was a harrowing few months of waiting. Would I like my exchange partner? Would we get along? Would we have anything in common?



In July of the summer of 2008 I received my first email from my exchange partner's mother. At that time, my exchange partner didn't feel comfortable enough to use her own email address and so she forwarded all her questions to me through her mother's account. Eventually, we got comfortable enough with each other to be able to use our own email accounts.


The First Time I Left Home: On Exchange Just Outside of Brussels


Soon enough it was August, and my exchange partner arrived in my native country to improve her English. My earlier fears about us not getting along were alleviated almost immediately. She became the sister that I never had. I was able to talk to her about things with a level of intimacy that I had never experienced with my friends. The language barrier wasn't even a real issue, because love, friendship and understanding are universal.



Her time with my family flew by. After 10 weeks, she had to go home. There were torrents of tears at the airport on both ends. We had to leave the security line-up because my exchange partner wouldn't go through security while we were standing there.



The next few months were excruciating. I had to finish all of my hard classes so that I could have an easier time of missing school while I was on exchange in Belgium. I began packing my suitcases so that I could plan what to bring with me for the very different Belgian climate.



After a flurry of packing (because no one is ever ready, as much as they try to prepare) it was time for me to cross an ocean alone. I had two suitcases and an ugly yellow duffle bag to bring with me so that I would be immediately identifiable to our escort. Our flight left around 7 pm, and none of us slept. We were just getting tired as we touched down in Paris. While the group bound for an exchange in France got to tour Paris, we weren't so lucky. After landing, it was a race to get down to the train station to take us to Brussels, where we eventually missed our train anyway. An alternate was arranged, and we arrived in Brussels where we were greeted with horrible sandwiches by the Cultural Affairs Minister as we waited for our exchange families to pick us up.



I was too tired at this point to be scared. After all, I knew my exchange partner. She had fit in so well with my family; why wouldn't I fit in with hers?



Until you have done a linguistic exchange, you can't possibly imagine how disorienting and overwhelming the first two weeks will be. I made the mistake of agreeing to go to a party on the other side of the country to meet some of my exchange partner's friends three days after I arrived. I was still incredibly jet-lagged, and could barely follow a conversation in French unless they spoke to me like I was three years old. To say that I wasn't ready was an understatement. Someone found me sobbing in the living room when everyone had gone to the kitchen for mixed drinks and called my exchange partner, who sent me to bed. She apologized later - she had just been so excited to introduce me to everyone.


The First Time I Left Home: On Exchange Just Outside of Brussels


School was very different in Belgium - my language classes were difficult but no one really expected me to follow along. The only teacher that asked after me was the gym teacher, as I was supposed to have two gym classes a week because there had been relatively few options. This was cleared up very quickly.



I had a hard time making friends at first because I couldn't remember anyone's name and everyone kind of looked alike to me, which was a wholly new experience, as someone that lives in one of the most multicultural cities and countries in the world. I was only in school for five weeks due to the way school vacations work in Europe, which was great from a work perspective but as soon as I met people that I liked, (Alice, Lidvine, Alex and Carmen) I had to go home.



What surprised me most was how much I missed my parents. I missed being able to tell my mom about the cool things that happened to me that day. I missed being able to joke with my dad about some silly thing, and then change the words to a popular song to nonsense. I missed my mother's cooking most of all - as someone who is used to a lot of flavour and spices, I found tradtional Belgian food very bland. I also lost about 15 lbs while I was there, because as an only child, I wasn't used to having to load my plate with everything that I wanted. Seconds were unheard of in my exchange family, as the oldest brother tended to take everything. Eventually, Genevieve, my exchange mom, noticed and made me serve myself first. If there was anything left over, she automatically put it on my plate.



All in all, it was a great experience. If I could go on another exchange, I would do it in a heartbeat. Going so far away from my parents at a young age has also made it easier for me to live away from them now that I'm older. I have lived and worked all over my country, and thought it much easier than my Belgian exchange. I highly recommend the experience to anyone.



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The First Time I Left Home: On Exchange Just Outside of Brussels
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