My New Years Resolutions

[selmo93]

This time. 20 minutes before, Last year. I was sitting in my living room, watching Spider Man 2 with Toby maguire (boyfriend's choice) unknown to the phone call I was about to have. One that changed me. My mum had died. And 2am new years day 2017 was the worst day of my life. I had to drive to my father's to try be there for my family. Not that I was much help, I was falling to pieces.

Unable to grasp what they were saying to me, snapping at everyone, trying to find blame. And the guilt. That's lasted most of the year. The sudden angry outbursts. The crying over a song or a smell which takes me back. The damage to my family which I can't take back. But this year will be different.

I will be better. I will try to control my anger. And I know as the years go on, the days will hurt less and I need to accept I will have days like that for a while. I may not have my family anymore but I know who my friends are.

I've started working on her new years resolutions. Starting with losing weight. I have lost 2 and a half stone and am trying to get help for my depression, as she was when she died. But more than anything I want to make her proud. Not be this bitter, untrusting, unstable mess. 2018 will be better. And I hope you guys have a good one as well.

[MrMysteryMan]

I understand your pain, not fully since I am not you, but have lost loved ones recently. So just learn to handle the pain, but don't worry about not every forgetting.

[Anonymous]

Hope you achieve!