Boyfriends mom keeps taking digs at me. How do I stop this?

[Shpuddo]

Her sly digs at me are starting to get to me. I am not eating as much and she said I am going anorexic. Her other sons girlfriend was over at the weekend and we were having a dinner ( my boyfriend is a secret his mom doesn't know and he was away that evening ) she asked ( let's say lisa ) what would she like to eat. Lisa said she wanted a bit of chicken , chips beans and steak. The mommy was all polite and lovely to her and then she turns around to me and asks ( let's call me Nina ) what would I like. She then cuts me off saying I will have chicken because I don't eat much anyways when in fact I wanted both steak and chicken.
Another one for example.. I came home from studies and she was talking to me about a missing girl that went missing and how serious it was. I am by nature not a very expressive person and she just got mad at me saying it don't give a shite at all and she went all ignoring at me. She always has to know everything and be everywhere. She smokes behind her hubby's back which is so sly. What should I do. I'm not a feisty person but it is getting on my nerves now

[Paris13]

It sounds as though Mommy Dearest has a Special Place for you, Shpuddo, and it Isn't in her soul or in her heart. She has it in for you, for some reason of this season, and like a dog, once they put their 'Digs' and bite marks into you, this will stick, making you both not two birds of a feather But-----Starting to get to me.
This soul mate of yours maybe be Also "Hers" as well, her baby, her favorite, and no matter who he brings home to Sunday dinner, no one will be good enough, nothing you say or do would ever be enough, even if you wore a crown on head.
Grin and bear it. If he speaks to her and shakes a finger at her, it could make it worse so let silence be golden, although not so 'Golden,' as you are finding out.
Perhaps you could go over a bit less to Lessen the tension and if you do plan on being part of this Rat's nest in the future, after awhile, if you just Show them you are the Bigger person, not a sore sport, they will back off, get bored with the snide remarks and move on to another Sore subject.
I know how you feel, I can relate to this sticky situation. I have a husband out in Egypt... we are estranged right now. I lived with him and his family for awhile, and in the beginning when I first went over, everything was as though I were the Queen of England. After I returned and we had tied the knot, it was Then that Mommy Dearest showed her true colors, however, as smart as I am, I always had One up on Her----I kissed butt, softened every blow and to this day, she still Loves me, although heartbroken with her own feelings that I let her son down by not coming back in a very long while.
Good luck. xx

[Shpuddo]

Thank you for your reply. I unfortunately live with her. She is an unhappy person an. I plan to get away from this house asap. I told my boyfriend that if he wanted to be cared about and if he cared about my feelings I will move Out and he can visit me but not a chance I will bear that woman. She has got to be in everything that is to do and especially not to do with her. Can you explain meaning of dearest mommy? What really annoys me is that when he watches football and he shouts at the telly she will shout too..

[Paris13]

Mommy Dearest was a Joan Crawford biography played by Faye Dunaway which told the true story of how badly she treated her daughter... you can rent it out on DVD and find out what she did to her daughter Christine who has a Tell-All book out... Joan was a bitch and not a nice Mommy... I used this as a pun when describing an overbearing mom or mom in-law...
Okay, I see More facts After the Facts and if I had known all of the other details, I wpoul dhave probably given you another direction to go in... you live with her, as I did my husband's family and being married, no respect for our marriage, no privacy and no matter what they did or said, he's stuck up for them and stuck on their side...
Living with her, it probably will not change, probably worsen and I find that many guys today are mommy's boys and the girl/wife is secondary... you certainly have a lot of decisions to make and thank God no baggage to boot or even are married to him. xx

[Shpuddo]

I will have to give it a go and have a look thank you ! She is after giving out to me for not answering her but only I speak quietly. She is very dominant and I would definitely not have a grandmother like that for my kids. Or probably cut short their time together.

[Paris13]

It's never easy with a woman like this and it seems many of Sonny's moms are all alike... I found out what my husband's mommy was all about and where I really stood as the wife... However, I made the best of it, we had a few words and some problems but I gained her respect because even after I left, he would tell me mom misses you and loves you, Paris, and we would do Skype some... however, there isn't Now any woman in the house, which could be a problem for your 'Mom in-law' too... she wants to be the domineering one and feels there is one too many cooks in her kitchen... xx

[Anonymous]

Your boyfriend needs to deal with his mom. She is targeting you due to an insecurity probably. I used to be married to a guy whose mother and sister were both jealous and targeted me, but ONLY behind my back. They got to me through him. I too was bullied about being thin, and I also am vegetarian so it would leave out a whole food group! (I suppose)
If your boyfriend won't intervene when she puts you down like that, then I'd get out of this now while you're still young. Those issues don't go away and they get worse over time. I was with my ex husband for over a decade and we were HS sweethearts, and he never stood up to them. NEVER changed.

[chasaree]

Tell your boyfriend. No matter what he should take and needs to take your feelings in to consideration.

[Shpuddo]

hopefully he will now as I burst out crying last night and he was trying to calm me down and he was wiping my tears away. he kept going at me until I pleaded him to leave me alone.

[chasaree]

Aww hun I am proud of you. That was a big step for you to take. And girl he really loves you. And had your boyfriend ever hear anytime that his mom was being wretched to you?

[Shpuddo]

I didn't want to say it to him because he will think wrong of me but he knows himself that she is a snooping around woman. While in her house boys have no control. She has to know where are they going and how long will they be. I am starting to be like that with my bf but I hate myself for it because I tend to take on a personality

[chasaree]

Your boyfriend should not be mad at you. And you tell yourself that you are you and that you are not her name. And if you find yourself beginning to act out at him you need to say I love you but I need an hour to myself and go for walk get yourself back to you again. And then go back and talk to him about what is on your mind
And as for o Momma you don't deserve to be treated like crap by her or by anybody in the house. Stand Up For Yourself. Sweety you are so young to be going through something like this. You and only you can make the best decision for you. Stand up on your 2 feet and Do not be treated like that by Nobody. You have so much life ahead of you. I am not telling you how to live your life. But you deserve so much more. I will talk to you anytime you need to talk to someone. Message me if you need to want to.

[BellePepper]

Talk to your BF about her behavior and see if he'll do anything about it. Otherwise kill her with kindness. Maybe this is like an acid test?

[Shpuddo]

Doesn't help. I tried kindness with her and only got an attitude back. Did I forget to mention that she does it to her husband as well and he is the kindest man I met. I ended up crying in front of my bf and her and he said sorry to me that he will try and look after her.

[BellePepper]

At least your BF is willing to do something and isn't telling you it's all in your head or something stupid.

[Shpuddo]

he used to. He used to tell me that I needed to cop on because the way I behave Is horrible. Until last night when I started crying. I don't usually cry unless I get very upset.

[BellePepper]

Well, at least you got to make some progress. It sucks that some people feel the desire to be awful all the time :/

[Shpuddo]

I don't mean to annoy you. She has a terrier that I adore and she adores me back. I bought a rabbit last night and brought it home ( I stay at hers) and the dog started running around. Bfs mom started saying that I need to leave the dog alone as I have upsetted her and that I don't pay any attention to the dog because I purchased a rabbit. I mean this is silly come on

[BellePepper]

It's not annoying for me. I'm just a person on the internet who reads the comment whenever. It sounds like an annoying situation for you though. Maybe the lady is just unhappy with her life and has to take it out on who she considers the low woman on the totem pole.

[Shpuddo]

Would you mind explaining the low woman on the totem pole Please? She treats her poor husband awful they row the whole time

[BellePepper]

Sorry! I guess it's an Americanism. It's like you're the person in the house who she has the fewest connections and responsibilities toward so she can be meanest to you. What difference does it make to her if her son's GF is upset when she doesn't care if her husband is upset. For your own sanity just accept she's not your favorite and work on what you can do for you.