Boyfriend moving in with female friend?

[spicyavacados]

My boyfriend needs a place to live and wants to move in with a female friend of his. I'm really not comfortable with this arrangement, but I feel as though it's not my place to tell him.

The two of us had discussed moving in together but decided it was too soon for us. I wasn't as adamant about thinking that as he was, but I would still rather live on my own. However, if he needs a place to live that badly I would much rather the two of us live together than he live with her. It kind of stings that he would rather live there than with me, especially since he would have to stay on her couch for an entire month before her roommate moves out! Does he really prefer her couch to me?

Can I talk to him about this? What do I say? How do I approach it? He still has a month to find a place of his own but doesn't seem to want to... he's pretty stressed out right now.

[eurynmous]

I'm not saying it couldn't work, but you probably you shouldn't let it happen if you can help it. First of all, it does bother you, it would bother most girls in your position and your feelings are important too.

I can tell you that guys tend to think more logically and less emotional than girls about most things. So try to talk to him about it in a way that would make more sense to him because more than likely, he doesn't see it exactly the same way you do.

How much is he going to have to pay in rent there? Find out! Then you can simply mention that you wouldn't mind if he stayed with you for a couple of months. That way, he could save X amount of money and he could afford X. (i.e. catch up on a car or credit card payment, maybe buy something he has been really wanting for a long time, etc)

If things are going well after a couple months, then you can bring up more long term plans.

Just remember, you see it as him picking a couch over you. To him, it might be that moving in automatically means things are moving to the next level. Personally, I've always been a independent person. I have always had a hard time accepting help from others, I'd rather live in my car for a few months than to leech off a girlfriend or friend. Good luck!

[spicyavacados]

That's a really great and logical approach. Thanks so much!

[eurynmous]

Thanks for the best answer! I really do hope things work out.

[CuriousEddie]

I came across this question, and was going to answer with my thoughts, and now I see it is almost a year old...

so what happened? Did it work out okay?

[spicyavacados]

It did work out okay! He ended up getting a sublet for the month he would have had to live on the couch, and then he moved in with his friend, which wasn't the greatest, but worked out okay. Now we moved cities and live together. :)

[Anonymous]

Best of luck with this. I really wish I could help...

My boyfriend lives with his ex gf. It's hard to trust him but I do... then again in the back of my mind I feel almost certain that he's cheating on me with her or with someone else...

[Dj_XquiSit_HYF_com]

Then you should leave him if that's the case?

[spicyavacados]

Oh man, that's much worse! :/ I do trust my bf, I really do. It just makes me uneasy even though I know it's irrational. Plus it stings that he would rather live with her!

[Ashy1231]

It definitely is your place to tell him. You shouldn't tolerate such BS. Unless if he's gay, he shouldn't be living with another chick when he has a girlfriend. That's freakin weird...

[spicyavacados]

That's not so weird, and his group of friends does it a lot. It's just that this girl is particularly flirty AND just broke up with her own bf. I definitely want to tell him what I think though!

[Ashy1231]

You know your boyfriend better than any stranger on here. So if it's not so weird, you shouldn't be seeking the advice of some random internet strangers, who know nothing about the situation....

[spicyavacados]

I wasn't asking your opinion on whether or not the behavior is normal, rather how I should approach the topic. But gee, thanks so much for the support!