Why is my mom so careless? I cannot stand her anymore?

[Anonymous]

She says absolute shit to me.

Like she was like, "Oh it's not necessary to marry a rich guy." (I'm from a well-off family). I quietened and said... I'm marrying a rich guy. She just made a face. I was like... do you think I can't get a rich guy? And she covered up saying some nonsense.

She doesn't clean after herself. She doesn't shower regularly. In fact a lot of her bad habits came in me, like carelessness, talking badly about other people, not showering regularly not grooming myself.

She is stupid and I hate her but it scares me about whether other people hate me for being like her.

Updates

+1 y

Think about it from my perspective. I'm already rich in real life, why would I want to marry a guy who isn't also rich? It doesn't make sense.

[Red_Arrow]

"my dad never respected or cared about her"
"my dad doesn't respect her because of her lack of education."
For some reason your dad married her then showed her disrespect for their whole marriage. It is no wonder that she thinks lowly of a rich guy that does that. And it sounds like she is trying to warn you, even though you cannot see it and have already taken on the rich girl mentality and blame your mother for her being disrespected by your father.

My mother-in-law was in a similar position as your mother, except they were not rich. But she had it with the mistreatment from her husband, and the minute the last child was out of the house, she moved out and divorced him. And all of her children supported her for that.

You "used to be real smart". Then "something" happened and you aren't so smart anymore. Yet you call your mother stupid.

And everything she does, like not showering daily is bad, but you mimic it, then blame her.

You have some serious issues that you should be taking care of before ranting bad things about you mother.

[666threesixes666]

you clearly have not seen the movie titanic. your poverty stricken citizen is different from the political, and financial elite. you should hit me up some time. i want to be "filthy" rich. =) ill help you troll your mom also. opposites attract. bad habits, and carelessness are a result of being rich. she's gained in one area, but slipped in others. prospective, i don't have a bank account, you brag about yours. power, rich people rely on people to take money so they can remain lazy, and ignorant. the rich are literally paying to be stupid. where i could crash the stock market tomorrow, and laugh about it. it's of no consequence to me, where it would throw your life into upheaval. you have to worry about keeping wealth, it's something that can be lost. if your husband is from money, you're both unable to cope as you both rely upon money for your personal ends.

[Cmasterson]

Perhaps she doesn't care about the money really that she has and unfortunately with that she doesn't care for her bad hygiene too. Because you're marrying someone rich doesn't mean she should have her two cents about his income. Just try to correct yourself, we get some traits from our parents but you can correct it.

[Asker]

She definitely cares a lot about the money that she has.

As in she cares about the status part of it

[AriadneSky]

I thought well off people keep very clean... with money why not

you dont have to worry yore like her. just focus on being the way you would respect. :)

[Asker]

My mom came from a small town. She was far from rich.

I feel so embarrassed. Lots of people probably observed from my behaviour that something was off. You learn good habits and how to behave from your parents and I had a mom like that my whole life.

I can think of plenty of times where my actions probably showed carelessness. Simple stuff, like not tying my shoelaces or coming to school un-showered. I'm embarrassed

[Anonymous]

You hate her because she told you that you don't need to marry a rich guy? you're mom doesn't seem like she's doing anything wrong , maybe you're the problem

[Asker]

SHE married a rich guy lol and she did it for the nam. e

Anyways, think of it this way: I'm used to a certain lifestyle of money and travelling and luxury etc. I would still work as an adult in my career, but I would think there would be MORE problems if I wasn't able to afford the lifestyle I have right now.

It's easier to just marry someone who has had the same lifestyle as you growing uo

[Thisperson98]

Oh, so you are a gold digger. And you hate your mother? I know you might not like what she does, but still you shouldn't hate your mother. Well thankfully I am too young for you.

[Asker]

How am I a gold-digger?

I AM rich in real life lol it would be weird if I didn't marry a rich guy. If I like a guy who isn't rich I'd marry him anyways, but why would I not want to marry someone who is of the same wealth as me?

[Thisperson98]

Your family is rich, your family being rich doesn't automatically mean you are rich. It is true you don't need to marry a rich guy.

[Asker]

It's one thing to say you don't need to marry a rich guy and you should marry the person. If he happens to be rich good, but that shouldn't be the determinant.

It's another thing to imply a rich guy wouldn't want to marry me, which was what she was trying to do

[Thisperson98]

Then I misunderstood, sorry. But you still shouldn't hate you mother, although I do agree she shouldn't be saying that type of stuff.

[colourz]

you sound like a spoiled little brat. privileged entitled gold digger who wants to leech off someone else's success.

[Asker]

You know in Indian culture, usually marriages are arranged. Mine might be.

What she was trying to say was a rich guy wouldn't be interested in me. Trust me I know my mother

[colourz]

A rich guy doesn't want to deal with a spoiled little princess type. I can smell your entitled attitude from here. Some rich people don't deserve to be rich, especially the ones that didn't earn it on their own merit because they end up like you.

You're nothing special, there are women 10x better and more beautiful who don't act like you.

[Asker]

How do you know? You've never seen me. I''m more beautiful than most people.

Look here's the deal: I wouldn't want a rich guy who made it on his own. I'd want someone whose more like me, which is that they got rich because of a family business or something like that. That would make more sense because then he would likely have had the same lifestyle as me.

Also on the topic of 'me not being special' I used to be SMART too. Really really smart.

Getting into a top business school kind of smart.

And then something happened in my life where everything went downhill and I just stopped. I lost my confidence. I lost my brain.

It was so difficult for me to complete my degree but I did it and now I'm hoping things would go back to normal. I don't want my life ruined because of things that happened which again she is very responsible for in a way.

I would love to earn money to the extent where I'd be rich without a guy. I don't know if I have that capacity anymore

[Asker]

And that's something I've never told anyone. Not even my mom

[colourz]

you sound very materialistic and don't seem to be occupied with the things that are important in life and with finding a partner.

When it comes to guys, you seem to be occupied with them living the same lifestyle as you. they're more than likely spoiled brats and won't contribute anything to a relationship. And once separated that somehow gives you the right to take half of everything they own.

Good for you on completing business school but maybe your mom is trying to show you money isn't the most important thing in life in a weird way.

In the end the universe will unfold as it should.

[SovereignessofVamps]

She sounds like she's irresponsible and could be jelly of you. Lots of parents are like this.

[Asker]

I wondered about the jealous thing too.

The thing is my dad doesn't respect her because of her lack of education. I am pretty sure she doesn't want to believe that there may be a guy who is rich who could respect me and keep me well because my dad never respected or cared about her.

[SovereignessofVamps]

Yeah... that sounds a little harsh, but there are standards in this society though.

[Asker]

What do you mean by 'but there are standards in this society though.'

[SovereignessofVamps]

Like him judging her for not having an education. It's harsh but I could see why he would feel that way. Although I and my family do know some people who were self employed and didn't have degrees and who made lots of $. But it sounds like your mom didn't go after other toptions.

[Asker]

Oh lol I thought you meant that my mom was right, rich people have standards and a rich guy probably wouldn't prefer me.

See that's what she does she puts poison in my mind and then I assume everyone is thinking like her, it's really scary.

I think maybe it's some of the things that happened in my life too that make me oversensitive to this topic.

From what I can tell from my mom, she wouldn't have even wanted to go. Whenever I try to teach her something, she doesn't want to learn. If I try to have an intelligent conversation with her, she shuts me up.

She doesn't work at all and all she does is complain about how she has to work around the house.

Whenever I ask her to go somewhere with me, she says no it's okay I'd rather stay in.

Lol I know it sounds like a horrible thing to say, but I have no respect for her. I stlil somehow always go bak to her because she is my mother, but I seriously hate her

[SovereignessofVamps]

It sounds like she may not want to work or go out because it could wreck her image. Like if she worked, it'd probably be minimum wage right? And she doesn't sound like she has a huge social thing going on, so she could be scared of people judging her for not working.

[Asker]

I'd be more sympathetic to her if she just stopped judging others and said well hey I dont' have to work etc. so I'm just going to keep my mouth shut and enjoy my life.

Honestly this whole thing, her whole life is HER fault. She married my dad because he was well-educated to begin with, and when he started treating her like shit, instead of saying well I got to do something about this, she just tolerated it out of fear of what people would think.

She says she stayed for us which is utter bullshit. If she stayed for us, she would treat us better which she doesn't.

To date she goes around acting as though just because seh married an educated guy she is better than other people which is really laughable

[SovereignessofVamps]

It sounds to me like she stayed because how else would she be able to afford anything? It sounds mean I guess, but with no job skills where could she have gone? She could have gotten some, but it sounds like she cares about what others think a lot.

[Asker]

This is why I'm scared of being like her.

Some stuff happened in my life which left me almost nowhere. I had to work so hard to get back on track.

She did have some prospects, (she was a teacher in India), so she could technically go back to India and work there.

I feel like... she just didn't want to deal with that kind of difficult life. Going to India, all alone, with kids, having to support herself.

So she just did the easy thing and stayed. Maybe a part of it is for us because she wouldn't have been able to support us financially if she lived by herself, but most of it is for herself.

She doesn't use his money to buy herself nice stuff. She knows he'd get pissed. A lot of my family's money is spent on the kids, so I guess there's some nice qualities in her.

However, yes she does care a lot about what other people think. It's not only annoying it's also stupid. You have your own life at the end of the day. No one except yourself can give you a better life

[SovereignessofVamps]

I can relate. I always thought I was different from my parents but I have so many of their habits it's scary. I also used to be really lazy like them, and I had to force myself over months to not be that way anymore. It can be just awful. But I will say don't complain about your situation if you want to stay being lazy.

[ThisDudeHere]

Then how about you stop being like her, if you're aware that you are?

[goodmood]

She's not careless. She's just trying to teach you how to think and act like a decent human being and not some filthy gold digger. That's all :)

[Asker]

It's really funny how it's assumed ot be a 'gold digger' if you marry rich.

It's actually going to be pretty difficult living with a guy who wasn't rich because well I'm used to a certain lifestyle and he may not be able to afford it and then we'll fight.

Plus it's not like I won't work. My income + his income=should be enough for the both of us to live happily.

I'm Indian so likely I'm talking about arrange-marriage. If I have to get married to a guy and put a lot of thought into it, then this is also something to consider.

IT would be different if I fell in love with a guy and then didn't mrary him because he wasn't rich. That would be shallow and silly

[goodmood]

You can chase after rich men if you want. It's your life, so I don't care.

[Asker]

Whatever.

[ShyGuyLikesWomen]

Try to ignore