Being jealous when boyfriend is with his female cousins! Normal?

[Anonymous]

okay, I've been in a relationship with a guy who's like 18 years old while I'm 15 going on 16 at the moment. yeah he's my first love and 2nd boyfriend. :/ its been nine months. so, I live in a city whose like 2 hours away from this another city. he is going there to study for college/uni whatever you call it. the thing is . he will be living with his cousins. FEMALE cousins. A lot of FEMALE COUSINS. at first I was okay in the beginning of our relationship wid his being so close to his cousins. but now I'm like burning mad whenever he mentions any "new" or "fun" adventure with one of his cousins. when we talk on the phone. some cousin comes along nd slaps him and they go around chasing each other. I mean WTF?! :O its getting to my head. I wasn't this jealous before. . I'm not that much close to my cousins. :s

please , I gotta problem. don't make fun of me :( give me some good advice how to overcome this jealousy because next month he will be going to be living with his cousins forever. :/

but he is a great guy. he loves me a lot. he stopped talking to girls just because of me, so that I wouldn't get hurt. then why am I like this?! by the way, he gets jealous as HELL too! but my case is different. sorry it's being a little too long. hope you can help me.

ty

[cookiesncream]

Well, I'm not too surprised you feel jealous haha. I think that your jealous over the fun he is having with others but not you. BUT, don't let it control you and it definitely does NOT justify you spazzing at him or restricting him from spending time with his cousins. (I'm a family first kind of person and wouldn't really take kindly to my boyfriend asking me to tone down my friendship with my cousins unless it was crossing lines)

BUT. I think you know it's wrong for you to mention anything to him. I'd suggest, every time you get jealous, to take a deep breath and try thinking of it in another point of view. That it's good that he's able to find a good friend in his cousins and is getting along well with them. It's good that he's having time to connect with his FAMILY and because of all this, you're HAPPY for him. Think of other positive reasons because that's what helps me when I feel jealous or something I know that is totally ridiculous. Also, sometimes when these feelings bubble up, sometimes I just send him a cheesy, corny text about how much I love him and he sends one back and it helps take away my doubts and fears. It's a win-win situation(assuming it works) or at least a win-lose one(assuming it doesn't help you).

[Asker]

Okay, maybe I AM jealous of the fact that he is having fun with his cousins while I'm not there. Seriously I'm a control freak :/

But, Thank you for your advice :)

[epicfailure]

I don't think your boyfriend is going to hook up with one of his cousins, unless he's one of those people who don't think incest is such a bad thing lol. But lots of people are close to their cousins, one of my best friends is my cousin! So you should be just fine, don't worry about a thing.

[Anonymous]

You sound controlling. It's his family. I have tons of female cousins myself. We are a very close family. I am always out doing stuff with them. I went skydiving with my cousin Jess last week. I mean cut the kid some slack. It's not like he's going to leave you for one of them. Sure, you want that kind of attention shown to you, but being jealous when you don't get it is just going to push him away. Also you don't know the dynamics of his family, and since you aren't close to your own cousins you wouldn't know. Don't try and put him in a little "you" bubble.. It's going to get old and you'll lose him for good.

[Haaps]

do you have so little trust in him that you'll think he'll hook up with his cousins?

although from a womens perspective no matter what the relationship, being jelous and cautious is nomal in a relationship. It means you really care for him and want him with you.

Also have faith in yourself, this guy is willing to stop talking to girls because it bothers you. I don't think you have anything to worry about.

[Asker]

Thanks, I feel better :)

[TheTaxMan]

Trust me, you've got nothing to worry to worry about. He's just closer to his family than most people are. He may not have much interesting things to tell you and he just might think that his cousin doing something to him may be funny to you. And have you ever considered just asking him to maybe tone it down a bit?

[Asker]

Yeah I have said something to him indirectly but when I am having fun with MY cousins (which is rare but DOES happen!), he's like don't get too close to your blah blah male cousin.

While I, on the other hand, don't really like to say something to him about his cousins DIRECTLY! :(