Wanting to Sleep Over My Boyfriend's House?

[Anonymous]

I am 18 years old. Me and my boyfriend have been dating for two years. I approached my mom (still live with my parents) a week before the night I wanted to sleep over and told her "Mom, this Friday and Saturday I am off from work and I would like to sleep over *** house." That's all I said and my mom freaked the f*** out. Saying absolutely not, why would I ask her that, etc. I don't argue or anything and just walk away since she was obviously p*ssed.

I go into my room and five minutes later she comes into my room to yell at me even more. Among the things she says is "I don't like him, and he shouldn't want you to sleep over." "It isn't normal for someone to want that." She also said "Just because your 18 doesn't mean I don't have a say in what you do anymore." and "I'll pull the rug from under you real fast (threat)."

I am a good kid. I'm going to college, I was a A student in high school, I NEVER have done different from my parents answer on anything. There was a time a year ago of distrust (used to sneak out because my parents wouldn't let me do anything) but I've been honest with them ever since the incident. Also, I had full intentions of letting my mom know what I am doing stead of lying or just going out and saying "see ya!"

Advice would be wonderful. I'm leaning towards doing it because I have never stood up for myself when it comes to wanting to do something and my parents saying no because they don't like it. Even though it would cause tension, my mom can't do much anyways if I do decide to do it. But anyways, sorry for the ramble. I just wanted to see what the internet world suggests.

Updates

+1 y

I've been dating this guy for 2 YEARS. He was my best friend for over a year before we started dating.

[muddbubble]

Alright I'm obviously the only person in the world that my parents don't still live in the stone age. Girl my opinon is if you want to stay the night with him stay the night with him I'm sorry but you are 18 now and its time to make your own descisions. If you're not on because get on it you're not ready for a child also if you want to be able to do things without your parents getting upset ask them if they would like for you to pay rent because when you start showing them that you are responsible enough to be able to do your own thing they should ease up and then if you're paying to live there they can't tell you what to do because then the relationship is different. I don't know like I said only person that my parents were never like that with me especially when I turned 18 I have always done what I want but because they never put restrictions on me I never snuck out or did drugs or anything like that. And in all honesty if they don't like what you do and want you to move maybe that would be better for both of you

[Anonymous]

You probably have some conservative parents. They ain't WRONG though. I can see why they don't want you to do so. They love you and they don't want to see you get hurt. Maybe they just don't think you're "mature" enough to handle that. I know you are 18 and you're a good kid, and that you do not necessarily have to have sex when you sleep over, and even if you do, you can use protection blah blah blah, any arguments you can have. BUT if your boyfriend insists on not using protection, will you be able to refuse having sex with him? If you really do get pregnant, are you going to be able to handle that responsibility? Your parents are probably worrying about that. Show them you're mature enough and eventually they'll release the restraints. My ex-boyfriend was 21 and his parents thought it's not OK for either him to sleep over at my house or me to sleep over at his house, but after a year of us being together, they even let us to go travel by ourselves. You just gotta prove yourself.

[RealDeal]

You say you are a good kid going to college. Your parents fear is that you get pregnant and don't get that chance to go to college. It has nothing to do with them being harsh or mean. They are just looking out for you. Your mom is right. You might be 18 but that doesn't mean that you can do what ever you want while living in their house. Do you have any idea how lucky you are to still be living at home?! Some people don't have a choice and are kicked out. Be thankful that you have parents that are gonna help you go to college, let you live at home and actually care about your well being. Don't be in such a rush to grow up, because 18 is still a baby sweetie. You have lots to see and experience, there is no rush.

[Asker]

I have the job and money income to live on my own, but I am not allowed to make that decision either. Me and my boyfriend see each other quite often so there isn't much of a difference between hanging out at his place for 5 hours and sleeping over. Yes, we have sex, and my mom is aware of it. I've been dating him for two years, and each time we use protection. She knows this also. I am not saying we won't have sex, who knows. But this sleepover isn't for that purpose. we can do it anytime.

[RealDeal]

If you can have sex anytime then what does it matter that you can't sleep over?

People miss the silver linning when they search for gold. Understand that your mom loves you and what's the best for you. I used to think my parents didn't want me to do anything on my own too. Now that I'm older, I see that my parents just wanted the best for me, it's just hard to show someone love when all the other person wants is for them to let them go.

[Asker]

We want to do it just because I don't want to worry about staying awake to drive home. Plus, we wanted to make an early trip to the beach the next day. For me, I just enjoy laying with him and cuddling. I'm sure it's not unusual to want that.

[RealDeal]

Well ask your mom if he can come over then. If you two want to cuddle then you can do it on a couch where your parents don't have to worry about it.

My sisters used to say they were staying over at their friends house, then go out to ger hammered. Run the risk of being in an accident with other drunks at the bar. It's a scary world out there now so parents have to be really careful with their kids.

[Biggus_Dickus]

Hey they can't keep the chains on you forever. Over parenting there in my opinion, at 18 you're a damn adult, and you clearly work hard so you deserve more respect than she gives you.

[Anonymous]

She just doesn't want you to have sex with him. I'm sure you already knew that though. Although you are 18, you still live in you parent's house. Why would you want to disobey the people that are completely supporting you? Just my opinion on it.

[Asker]

She knows we have had sex. I told her a month ago I was thinking about moving out, and she freaked out that too. So, she doesn't want me to leave.. at all. Even for a night.

[Opinion Owner]

That changes it. Maybe she is stressed at the fact that you are not her little girl any more and you will be leaving soon. My original answer would be my view towards my own daughter in the future. They still support you though. When you leave, you can do whatever you want.