Boyfriend's friends are jerks?

[Anonymous]

my boyfriend and I have been together for over two and a half years. I've been nothing but nice to his friends, and yet they seem to hate me. it really irritates me that they're so ignorant to me and I really have no idea why. I feel like it's putting a damper on our relationship because it upsets me that his friends are jerks. I'm a really nice person and never have done anything to upset them. can someone give me advice on this..

[Simulacrum]

I would suggest it could relate to a few things. One of which is that they either view you as stealing their friend away from them or alternatively changing him from the guy they knew. The other option which could relate to you, is that for some reason you are acting in a way that irritates them. I know this because I know a girl who thinks she is so nice to people, but she has a tendancy to overreact to many things, and she gives her opinion to people about things that are none of her business, so often. In addition she is bossy, and with people who maybe less competent than her at something, she treats them 'politely' like idiots. She cannot understand why people don't like her, but from an external perspective, I can. In case it is the latter, then you need to find out from his friends, politely and not emotionally what you are doing wrong. Make it seem like you know you are, but you don't know what it is. As a final note, this girl has a boyfriend too, and the boyfriend is completely blind to her behaviour, so probably don't ask yours.

[Asker]

Okay thanks..i've asked his friends about it before, and they said they don't have a problem with me. but I can just tell they do by the way they act. I walked by one of his friends today and said hi to him, and he totally and completely just walked by and didn't even acknowledge me. which made me feel like sh*t..

I don't overreact to things and I'm not bossy, I can honestly say that. and I really do get along with pretty much everyone. it's just his friends I'm having a problem with..

[Simulacrum]

There are two other options, I guess. He could be complaining about you to his friends or alternatively his friends could be of the opinion that you are flirting with them and thus be trying to protect your boyfriend.

[Asker]

Absolutely not flirting with his friends..ha.

[Simulacrum]

I wouldn't suggest you were, but maybe they is how they view it. Perhaps your boyfriend has told them not to get to close to you.

[AcEMasTeR]

This is definitely the real answer it is like stealing a friend

[Asker]

He hasn't..but even if he did that doesn't mean they have to be ignorant to me. it legit upsets me how I am treated by them.

AcEMasTeR,

I can understand that, but he splits his time up between his friends and i. it's not like I hog him all the time ya know? and we've been together for so long you think his friends would get over it..

[Simulacrum]

I am really not sure as to the answer then.

[Asker]

Ha yeah, me either. thanks though I appreciate it.