Why does my boyfriend act so different around MY friends?

[Anonymous]

Long story short now that he's met my friends he acts different around them. My friends and I both noticed he doesn't pay much attention to me, when I try to talk to him he's more worried about what everyone else is doing, won't kiss my head or hold my hand or anything like that even when were surrounded by people who are doing the same thing. We were at a concert and he was on the end and was like pouting because he wasn't by my friends and when I offered to switch and he wouldn't. Sometimes I'll ask him to hangout and he says he can but later, but when I ask him to hangout with another couple he can right away. Why does he do this?

[Anonymous]

Well in terms of the not paying attention to you with friends (holding hands, kissing, etc.), that could be because he is embarrassed by PDAs. I know I am. My girlfriend gets mad at me all the time because when we are out with her friends or mine, I don't hold hands or show any kind of affection. It's not that I don't do that stuff, it's just that I feel really embarrassed doing that stuff in front of people. When I was single, I hated it when couples did that stuff in public. When I got into a relationship, I didn't want to be "that guy". Perhaps your BF is the same way.

In terms of the pouting at the concert. Perhaps your boyfriend is an extrovert and loves being the center of attention. It is a perfectly normal thing to feel. A lot of extroverts don't like it when they are out of the loop. Being at the end, for him, may make him feel left out.

I recommend talking to your boyfriend about how you feel when he acts this way. Tell him that you would like him to be more affectionate with you in front of friends and not to get pissy if he is not in the middle of things. Approach it in a supportive and neutral way, not a witch hunt. That's how me and my girlfriend resolve issues and it works well

Best of Luck!

[witzelsucht]

Many guys become timid when it comes to public displays of affection, but your boyfriend also avoids private time with you--and that raises some questions. Do you have a girlfriend who might be attracting him? Do your friends have anything in common with your boyfriend and so make better conversational partners? If you broke up with him today, I suspect he would merge himself into your group of friends since he seems more interested in them.

If you are happy with the relationship you can wait and see what develops. If you are not happy you can start uncoupling while opening yourself to new male acquaintances. Or you can sit him down for an in-depth conversation about your mutual future. Finally, you can ask him directly why he behaves as he does and then tell him clearly what behavior you expect of him.

Frankly, the prognosis for your future association with him does not look good, judging by your question. If my girl showed inordinately more interest in my friends than me, I'd get rid of her before she coalesced into my crowd and I lost not only a girlfriend but my hangout friends.